The Politically Correct 23rd Psalm

[Guest davidP]

The Lord and I are in a shepherd-sheep relationship,

and I am in a position of negative need.

He prostrates me in a green-belt grazing area,

and conducts me into lateral proximity with a non-torrential aqueous accumulation.

He restores to original satisfaction levels my psychological makeup.

Notwithstanding the fact that I make ambulatory progress through the non-illuminated geological interstice of mortality,

terror sensations shall not be manifest within me due to the proximity of omnipotence.

Your pastoral walking aid and quadruped-restraint module induce in me a pleasurific mood state.

You design and produce a nutrient-bearing support structure in the context of non-cooperative elements.

You enact a head-related folk ritual utilizing vegetable extracts, and my beverage container exhibits inadequate volumetric parameters.

Surely it must be an intrinsic non-deductible factor that your inter-relational, emphatic, and non-vengeful attributes will pursue me as their target focus for the duration of the current non-death period.

And I will possess tenant rights in the residential facility of the Lord on a permanently open-ended time basis.

[Guest Newt]

Q: WHAT IS P.C.?

 

PC stands for Politically Correct. We of the Politically Correct philosophy believe in increasing a tolerance for a DIVERSITY of cultures, race, gender, ideology and alternate lifestyles. Political Correctness is the only social and morally acceptable outlook. Anyone who disagrees with this philosophy is bigoted, biased, sexist, and/or closed-minded.

 

Q: HOW DO I KNOW IF AN ACTION IS UN-PC?

 

Good question. It's important to know when someone is saying something insensitive so that you can have that person removed from society. The guideline is as follows:

 

Is the confrontation between two white people? Yes -> The liberal is right. No -> The white person is oppressing the ethnic person.

 

Remember, many seemingly obvious issues, such as the railroading of Washingyton DC Mayor Marion Barry, the Clarence Thomas issue, and the Saint Mary's University Carribean Society shut-down are really race issues.

 

Here's a fun practice drill for you: See how many newspaper articles you can make into race bias stories. It's fun! Some PCers are so good they can make the weather report look like a Klu Klux Klan pamphlet!

 

AND THE ANIMAL SECTION OF PC

 

Q: DON'T EAT MEAT? WHY NOT?!

 

Cows are animals, just like humans are animals. That means that they have rights. When you eat meat, you're oppressing animals!

 

Q: SO ALL KILLING IS BAD?

 

No, not always. Sometimes killing can be justified, like in the Persian Gulf. You have to be able to tell when an animal has rights, and when it doesn't.

 

Q: HOW DO I KNOW WHEN AN ANIMAL HAS RIGHTS?

 

The general rule is as follows:

 

IF AN ANIMAL IS RARE, PRETTY, BIG, CUTE, FURRY, HUGGABLE, OR LOVABLE, THEN IT HAS RIGHTS.

 

Examine the following chart:

 

 

RIGHTS .................... NO RIGHTS

-------- ................... -----------

cows ...................... cockroaches

cute bunnies .............. flies

dolphins in tuna nets ...... tuna in tuna nets

whales ..................... sharks

red squirrels .............. gray squirrels

owls ....................... loggers

harbor seals ............... barnacles

 

Q: I'M NOT SURE ABOUT ALL OF THIS.

 

If you are feeling unsure about your motivation, just remember. YOU ARE RIGHT. It's that simple. You are right.

 

 

 

[This message has been edited by Newt (edited 20 November 2001).]

[Guest scoobs11]

you two have too much time on your hands & we're all grateful

keep it coming

 

------------------

if you can't be good

be careful

 

anmc founder member