Jump to content


Photo
- - - - -

I had this sent to me


  • Please log in to reply
2 replies to this topic

#1 Clifftop

Clifftop

    Member

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 3,784 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Somewhere in OZ
  • Interests:fishing--gardening--photography

Posted 08 February 2018 - 09:42 AM

It was snowing all last night. So my day went like this:

8:00 I made a snowman.
8:10 A feminist passed by and asked me why it wasn’t a snowwoman.
8:15 So, I made a snowwoman.
8:17 My neighbours’ nanny complained about my snowwoman's voluptuous chest.
8:20 The gay couple living nearby grumbled that it should have been two snowmen instead.
8:25 The vegans at No. 12 complained about the carrot nose, as carrots are veggie food and not to decorate snow figures with.
8:28 I am being called a racist because the snowwoman is white. 8:31 The Muslim across the road wants the snowwoman to wear a headscarf.
8:40 Someone calls the cops who show up to see what’s going on.
8:42 They tell me the broomstick of the snowwoman needs to be removed because it could be used as a deadly weapon. Things get worse after I mutter: "Yeah, if it's up your a***"
8:45 A TV news crew shows up. I am asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow- women? I reply, "Snowballs" . I am then called a sexist.
8:52 My phone is seized and thoroughly checked while I am being blindfolded and flown to the police station in a helicopter.
9:00 I'm on the TV news as a suspected terrorist, intent on stirring up trouble during this difficult weather.
9:10 I am asked if I have any accomplices.
9:29 A little known jihadist group has claimed it was their plot.

Moral: There is no moral to this story. It’s just the country we live in today!


my mind not only wanders-- sometimes it leaves completely.


Updated 7/3/09
http://sites.google.com/site/pomfred/


#2 chesters1

chesters1

    AN Resident Contrarian

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 34,752 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:farnham surrey
  • Interests:fishing,fossils,researching intrepid reels and general being naughty

Posted 08 February 2018 - 04:20 PM

Cut its titties off otherwise the transgender nazis will be after you and put the carrot down the bottom to save grief from the other lot
Probably best to lop an arm off as well

Edited by chesters1, 08 February 2018 - 04:23 PM.

Believe NOTHING anyones says or writes unless you witness  it yourself and even then your eyes can deceive you

 

There is only one opinion i listen to ,its mine and its ALWAYS right even when its wrong

 

Its far easier to curse the darkness than light one candle

 

Whitby scallops caught by scottish boats best that money can buy,the nearer the shore they're dredged the better they taste


#3 Ken L

Ken L

    Member

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 13,011 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Kidderminster
  • Interests:Chucking lures, Martial arts and as much travel as possible

Posted 08 February 2018 - 08:07 PM

Snowflakes!


Species caught in 2018: Perch. Bream. Rainbow Trout. Brown Trout. Chub. Roach. Carp. European Eel.

Species caught in 2017: Siamese carp. Striped catfish. Rohu. Mekong catfish. Amazon red tail catfish. Arapaima.  Black Minnow Shark. Perch. Chub. Brown Trout. Pike. Bream. Roach. Rudd. Bleak. Common Carp.
Species caught in 2016: Siamese carp. Jullien's golden carp. Striped catfish. Mekong catfish. Amazon red tail catfish. Arapaima. Alligator gar. Rohu. Black Minnow Shark. Roach, Bream, Perch, Ballan Wrasse. Rudd. Common Carp. Pike. Zander. Chub. Bleak.
Species caught in 2015: Brown Trout. Roach. Bream. Terrapin. Eel. Barbel. Pike. Chub. 
Species caught in 2014: Striped catfish. Pacu. Giant gourami. Clown knife fish. Rohu. Siamese carp. Amazon red tail catfish. Arapaima. Roach. Bream. Perch. Rainbow trout. Chub. Common Carp, Ide. Brown Trout. Barbel. Mekong catfish. Jullien's golden carp. Alligator gar. Java barb.
Species caught in 2013: Mangrove Jack. Barramundi. Blubberlip snapper. Baracouda. Malabar grouper. Yellowfin Trevally. Chub. Brown Trout. Perch. Roach. Pike. European Eel. Bleak.
Species caught in 2012: Northern whiting. Moray eel. Barramundi. Snakehead murrel. Silver razorbelly minnow. Deccan Mahseer. Malabar mystus. Deccan rita. Spotted Malabar Grouper. Mangrove Jack. Indian sea catfish. Brown Trout. Chub. Perch. Roach. Rudd.
Species caught in 2011: Indian sea catfish. Sardine. Barramundi. Mangrove Jack. Deccan Mahseer. Record Humpbacked Mahseer. Yellow Fin Trevelly. Giant Trevelly. Chub. Brown Trout. Perch. Pike. Atlantic salmon. Dace. Minnow. Roach. Gudgeon. 
Species caught in 2010: Barramundi. Giant Trevelly. Moray eel. Indian sea catfish. Mangrove Jack. Deccan Mahseer. Humpback Mahseer. Chub. Brown Trout. Perch. Bass. Pike. 
Species caught in 2009: Chub. Perch. Pike. Pacu. Thai Striped Catfish. 
Species caught in 2008: Barramundi. p-i-k-e-y sea bream. Indian sea catfish. Guitarfish. Mangrove Jack. Mahseer. Squid (Not strictly a fish but it took a lure !). Emperor Sweetlip. Black Spot Snapper. Moray eel. Spangled Emperor. Bluecheek silver grunt. Yellow striped emperor. Vanikoro sweeper. Pike. Perch. Brown trout. Chub. Atlantic salmon.