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Birthday Cake


gozzer

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It's my grandsons 4th birthday, and my wife and I said we would order the cake. When it was ready, my wife asked me to pick it up, everything went ok until I asked if they had four candles.

 

John.

Angling is more than just catching fish, if it wasn't it would just be called 'catching'......... John

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Bloody homophones!

Species caught in 2020: Barbel. European Eel. Bleak. Perch. Pike.

Species caught in 2019: Pike. Bream. Tench. Chub. Common Carp. European Eel. Barbel. Bleak. Dace.

Species caught in 2018: Perch. Bream. Rainbow Trout. Brown Trout. Chub. Roach. Carp. European Eel.

Species caught in 2017: Siamese carp. Striped catfish. Rohu. Mekong catfish. Amazon red tail catfish. Arapaima. Black Minnow Shark. Perch. Chub. Brown Trout. Pike. Bream. Roach. Rudd. Bleak. Common Carp.

Species caught in 2016: Siamese carp. Jullien's golden carp. Striped catfish. Mekong catfish. Amazon red tail catfish. Arapaima. Alligator gar. Rohu. Black Minnow Shark. Roach, Bream, Perch, Ballan Wrasse. Rudd. Common Carp. Pike. Zander. Chub. Bleak.

Species caught in 2015: Brown Trout. Roach. Bream. Terrapin. Eel. Barbel. Pike. Chub.

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Bloody homophones!

 

Your not homophonobic are you ken? :o

 

The reaction wasn't like the Two Ronnies, the older woman in the shop groaned like she'd obviously heard it all before. The young girl who was serving me, probably hadn't heard it, and insisted on telling me they sold them in packs of 10, and she couldn't split a pack. She did say that she would look to see if there were any loose ones in the back though.

 

I think I'll keep my trap shut in future, it kind of backfired. :D

 

John.

Edited by gozzer

Angling is more than just catching fish, if it wasn't it would just be called 'catching'......... John

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Your not homophonobic are you ken? :o

 

The reaction wasn't like the Two Ronnies, the older woman in the shop groaned like she'd obviously heard it all before. The young girl who was serving me, probably hadn't heard it, and insisted on telling me they sold them in packs of 10, and she couldn't split a pack. She did say that she would look to see if there were any loose ones in the back though.

 

I think I'll keep my trap shut in future, it kind of backfired. :D

 

John.

 

In fairness, the sketch dates from 1976, so most of the UK population wasn't born when it aired - in the case of your "young girl who was serving", it's quite possible that her parents weren't born....

Species caught in 2020: Barbel. European Eel. Bleak. Perch. Pike.

Species caught in 2019: Pike. Bream. Tench. Chub. Common Carp. European Eel. Barbel. Bleak. Dace.

Species caught in 2018: Perch. Bream. Rainbow Trout. Brown Trout. Chub. Roach. Carp. European Eel.

Species caught in 2017: Siamese carp. Striped catfish. Rohu. Mekong catfish. Amazon red tail catfish. Arapaima. Black Minnow Shark. Perch. Chub. Brown Trout. Pike. Bream. Roach. Rudd. Bleak. Common Carp.

Species caught in 2016: Siamese carp. Jullien's golden carp. Striped catfish. Mekong catfish. Amazon red tail catfish. Arapaima. Alligator gar. Rohu. Black Minnow Shark. Roach, Bream, Perch, Ballan Wrasse. Rudd. Common Carp. Pike. Zander. Chub. Bleak.

Species caught in 2015: Brown Trout. Roach. Bream. Terrapin. Eel. Barbel. Pike. Chub.

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Even older is the practice of sending engineering apprentices and the like to the stores and telling them to ask for a long stand.

 

After keeping them waiting for half an hour the storeman would ask if they had stood long enough

 

It used to work on the younger newcomers to the Bluebell Railway - some even didn't cotton on in response to the storeman's question !

 

 

RNLI Governor

 

World species 471 : UK species 105 : English species 95 .

Certhia's world species - 215

Eclectic "husband and wife combined" world species 501

 

"Nothing matters very much, few things matter at all" - Plato

...only things like fresh bait and cold beer...

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Rubber nails and buckets of steam were the favourites when i left school

Believe NOTHING anyones says or writes unless you witness it yourself and even then your eyes can deceive you

None of this "the enemy of my enemy is my friend" crap it just means i have at least two enemies!

 

There is only one opinion i listen to ,its mine and its ALWAYS right even when its wrong

 

Its far easier to curse the darkness than light one candle

 

Mathew 4:19

Grangers law : anything i say will  turn out the opposite or not happen at all!

Life insurance? you wont enjoy a penny!

"To compel a man to furnish contributions of money for the propagation of opinions which he disbelieves and abhors, is sinful and tyrannical." Thomas Jefferson

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Even older is the practice of sending engineering apprentices and the like to the stores and telling them to ask for a long stand.

 

After keeping them waiting for half an hour the storeman would ask if they had stood long enough

 

It used to work on the younger newcomers to the Bluebell Railway - some even didn't cotton on in response to the storeman's question !

I was wise to that, and the first, (and only), time I was sent I was prepared. I got a coffee from the machine, lit a fag, got the paper out, and waited in the corner of the storeroom. I think it must have been one of the shortest 'long stands' in history, I got called a 'cheeky bugger' and was sent back on the shop floor. There was also the big weight (wait), rubber hammer for glass nails, and a new bubble for the spirit level, because the old one had burst. One apprentice was sent to the sandwich shop for a breadcake, and a quarter of middle age spread to put on it, another was told to get a 4oz bag of chicken lips, and not to forget to put salt and vinegar on them. Some lads were very gullible, and would believe anything. At one place we used to each get a chicken at Christmas. One year we told a particularly gullible lad that we had a choice between a chicken, a turkey, a duck, or a goose, because it was the firms centenary year. We told him that he had to let the boss know what he wanted, and that day was the last to put in the order. He ran up to the bosses office, marched in and said, "I want a goose Roy". We heard some muffled shouting, and about 10 mins later the boss came down and told us if we didn't stop sending this clown up to his office, he'd sack the bloody lot of us!

 

John.

Edited by gozzer

Angling is more than just catching fish, if it wasn't it would just be called 'catching'......... John

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Every Christmas where I worked for over 18 years, all employees received a Turkey.

 

One of our (New starter) Indian colleagues was told to fetch a length of string - to walk it home!!

 

He wasn't told it was Frozen!!

Edited by Martin56

Fishin' - "Best Fun Ya' can 'ave wi' Ya' Clothes On"!!

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