Leaderboard

I don't really know why i'm posting this, but sitting here right now it seems the right thing to do. I'm not wanting sympathy or pity, what I do need is to put something down in words, and hopefully some positive energy flowing my way. I've had a cough for around 5 weeks, and the odd day when i've had a sharp stabbing pain around my chest and sides around my ribcage and a shortness of breath. My girlfriend being the wonderful and loving type had googled and read up on the more detailed symptoms I was showing. She thought it may have been a bout of pneumonia and suggested I talk to my doctor. So wednesday morning I get a telephone appointment with my doctor who tells me he'll get me an urgent chest x-ray at the local community hospital. I had to chase that up as didn't hear from them and managed to get "we'll squeeze you in if you can get here at 4pm". I did but they wouldn't discuss the results as a doctor needed to see the x-ray and i'd just "have to give my GP surgery a call in a couple of days". Anyhow I was a bit peeved by this and being in more and more pain as the day progressed I called Dawn my beautiful partner and asked if she'd come with me if I drove to the nearest A&E department, which she did and we arrived at Queens in Burton-upon-Trent around 8pm. After a 2hr wait I was seen by the fabulous staff who accessed my earlier x-ray on their computer and had my vitals and bloods taken. Around about 1hr later I was told I have a massive infection in both my lungs which was causing my cough and shortness of breath, but they'd give me antibiotics and it should clear up just fine. The only thing they were concerned with was that my bloods were showing up a marker that suggested I had a blood clot in my lung. They said it was a simple procedure to treat the blood clot but they needed to make sure exactly where it was, so they wanted me to have a CT scan on my lungs. Around 5am in the morning the scan is done and the doctor has looked at it and i'm waiting for him to come talk to me and get it sorted so I can get myself and poor Dawn (who's only been allowed to sit in the corridor for the last several hours) back home to bed. The doctor pops into my little cubicle on the A&E ward and draws the curtains.......and then drops the bombshell of all bombshells! "You have a large infection in your lungs, but the CT scan is showing a large cancer in your left lung that has spread to the top of your lung and into your right lung also". WOW! Wasn't expecting that one, my worst nightmare come true. I grew up being terrified of two things - nuclear weapons and cancer! It's coming up to 24hrs since I was told, and I still feel like i'm in an awful nightmare that I just know isn't going to end well. I don't mind telling you all that I am terrified, scared and fearing i'll never see my 7yr old grandsons excitement whilst opening his christmas presents ever again. I've had a call from my GP today to tell me he's been phoning around and chasing up, and i'm on a two week waiting list for an appointment with the oncology department. I have been told I will need to have lots more CT scans of all my body to find out where/if the cancer has spread. I've had some lovely messages from various family today giving me their love and best wishes and being positive. My mum, daughter and son are utterly broken, as well as my lovely Dawn. They are trying to be strong and thinking positive, and I guess I am too, although i'm probably failing misserably at both. I'm scared to get my hopes up and think positive, because i'm scared if they tell me it's spread further and that I have 3, 6 months etc it's going to be another hammer blow. Do I fear and prepare myself for the worst so that it's not another shock to the system, or do I be positive and risk being hit with another bombshell that i'm not expecting? Anyhow I do apologise for rambling on, but forgive me as it has helped me somehow being able to type it out and put it in words. I'm a scared, terrified and broken man who has no idea what the future will hold, if any future at all. I'll try and fight this for the sake of my dear mum, my children and grandson, Dawn my soulmate and those that are close to me. And i'll try and keep you all up to date and maybe a kind of diary to let you know what is going on if it is of interest to any of you. Perhaps it may help in some strange way if anyone is unfortunate enough to follow in my footsteps.

ALL, Of course, I’m right I’m Phone and I’m back. Although there should have never been a doubt. There have been a few of the boring snags; for your perusal. · How does such a event begin ? Simple, · “ Dr. Vamanan has reviewed your medical records and performed a thorough physical exam. · You endorse recovering well after surgery. · Your CT showed a lymph node that might have increased in size right beside your aorta. We're going to send these results to your Primary Care Physician and arrange a referral with HemOnc. · Please call the Vascular Center at 816-932-2585 if you have any questions or concerns. Thus began the long trek toward today – with the repair of an aortic aneurism.” Enter stage left Furha Cossor, MD Saint Luke's Cancer Specialists. YEP – cancer. Skipping ahead nearly a year ten months of chemo eradicated the cancer. – Good news – right? – Well not quite !! For all but a smidge of 2021 I have been hospitalized. It seems constituents of the chemo not only took out the cancer, they decided to take my heart and lungs also. It was thoughtful but I would have preferred to end up with more than 25% of both heart and lungs BUT SUCH IS LIFE. Which brings me to today April 11. I WILL be going home WEDNESDAY. Should be back to regular by weeks end Phone