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An old ex matelot walks into the local Cathedral and says to the rector, "I would like to join this f*cking church." The astonished man replies, "I beg your pardon, sir. I must have misunderstood you. What did you say?" "Listen, damn it. I said I want to join this f*cking church!" "I'm very sorry sir, but that kind of language is not tolerated in the house of our Lord ." The rector leaves his desk and goes into the bishop's study to inform him of the situation. The Bishop agrees that the rector does not have to listen to that foul language. They both return to his office and the Bishop asks the ex matelot, "Sir, what seems to be the problem here?" "There is no damn problem," the ex matelot says. "I just won 5 million quid on the fecking lottery and I want to join this f*cking church to get rid of some of this fecking money." "I see," said the Bishop, "and is this f*cking **** giving you a hard time?