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  1. Winding down - angling as one gets older and frailer. Having caught shark, marlin, and sturgeon over 300 lb, and several hundred species from places as diverse as the Amazon Basin, the Australian outback, the Southern Ocean, the Caribbean coral flats and the streams of the American Divide. It is with some disbelief that I find age, muscle weakness and increasingly severe angina drastically limiting where I can fish. I have always loved catching wild fish in wild places, which has had me fishing in all seven oceans, and six of the seven continents. (went to the seventh – Antarcti
    6 points
  2. I ordered a Chinese meal last night. Chinese driver came to our door and I walked out to meet him. He started shouting "isolate" "isolate" I said you’re not that late, I only ordered 25 minutes ago!
    6 points
  3. Damn site more than i caught ,i popped down the river for a couple of hours ,just as i leant forward to drop the float in the bank slid and down i went. The rivers not deep just waist deep in the pool i was trying to fish but getting out was a laugh ,fricking cold and very muddy ! In the end i walked downstream to where the bank was easier to climb but i went down more times than i went up. Must have been a great sight walking along the road ,one hand holding a muddy bag and rod the other desperately trying to hold up sodden muddy trousers with a broken string ! Probably cu
    6 points
  4. Extract from Tony Blair's book! 'I had regularly started jogging out of Downing Street . On each run I happened to jog past a hooker (prostitute) standing on the same street corner, day after day. With some apprehension I would brace myself as I approached her for what was most certainly to follow. "Fifty Pounds!" she would shout from the kerb. "No way, 50 pence!" I fired back. This ritual between myself and the hooker continued for days. I'd run by and she'd yell, "Fifty Pounds!" And I'd yell back "50 pence!" One day, however, my wife Cherie decide
    5 points
  5. I was naked when I met the postman at the front door this morning. I don't know what surprised him most, that I was naked, or that I knew where he lived. I've been told that a good way of letting go of your anger towards other people is to write letters to those you hate and then burn them. I've done that, but do I have to keep the letters? After finding 5 Mars, 3 Snickers, a Galaxy and a Twix in this Celebrations box, I'm starting to think I'm not cut out to be a Bounty hunter. Boss: "This is the third time you have been late for work this week. You know what this means, don't
    5 points
  6. Well, I'm glad nobody has written my obituary! Thanks for all the kind remarks - especially about the book. I reconnected yesterday - see Tiggers thread 're a few hours out. Still fishing in my 87th year, albeit just small still waters due to ever increasing angina problems.
    5 points
  7. Trumpy at Andrews giving his last speech as President, how many people would have predicted that five years ago. He still seems to be casting doubt on the legitimacy of the election despite so many people, not just in his own Country but others including the U.K. telling him to accept the Democratic vote and move on. Only in the USA some say, thank goodness would never happen here. Can anybody imagine having a democratic vote in this Country and a huge chunk of the minority not accepting the result and continuing to contest it and argue about it four years later?
    4 points
  8. An Australian Army Recruit sends home a letter to the family. Dear Mum & Dad, I am well, hope youse are too? Tell me big brothers Doug and Phil that the Army is better than workin’ on the farm - tell them to get in quick smart before the jobs are all gone! I wuz a bit slow in settling down at first, because ya don’t hafta get outta bed until 6am. But I like sleeping in now, cuz all ya gotta do before brekky is make ya bed and shine ya boots and clean ya uniform. No cows to milk, no calves to feed, no feed to stack - nothin’!! Ya haz gotta shower though, but its not
    4 points
  9. Except in a river or stream Regarding the information about the wind i have come to realise Millenials dont have a sense of consequence, you see them on youtube falling foul of obvious pitfalls any 'normal' adult will predict so everything has to be explained and most likely every time it's published because when you live on a phone there is no need to remember anything, its a wonder some remember to breathe !
    4 points
  10. All, One day, Little Johnny saw his grandpa smoking his cigarettes. Little Johnny asked, “Grandpa, can I smoke some of your cigarettes?” His grandpa replied, “Can your pen!s reach your a$shole?” “No”, said Little Johnny. His grandpa replied, “Then you’re not old enough.” The next day, Little Johnny saw his grandpa drinking beer. He asked, “Grandpa, can I drink some of your beer?” His grandpa replied, “Can your pen!s reach your a$shole?” “No” said Little Johhny. “Then you’re not old enough.” his grandpa replied. The
    4 points
  11. 16/08 a couple of weeks ago obliterating my PB caught 3 Chub. And this one on the same boilie lol
    4 points
  12. all, When one door closes and another door opens, you are probably in prison. * * * * * * * * * * * * To me, "drink responsibly" means don't spill it. * * * * * * * * * * * * Age 60 might be the new 40, but 9:00 pm is the new midnight. * * * * * * * * * * * * When I say, "The other day," I could be referring to any time between yesterday and 15 years ago. * * * * * * * * * * * * I remember being able to get up without making sound effects. * * * * * * * * * * * * I had my patience tested. I'm negative. *
    4 points
  13. Well folks, we arrived at the venue - Kippax Park Lakes about 8:15 Wed' Morning for my first session since last September & Trevor's first a couple of years!! Not the best of starts, as when untangling the 3 made up rods I took, hadn't noticed I'd knocked the landing net (Handle & all) into the swim so had to borrow one from the office at least until a lovely old fella, Lawrence came round later & dragged mine out with a grappling hook - He's part of the furniture there & has never failed (he says) to get "Gone In" pole sections etc. Incidentally he always brings with him the o
    4 points
  14. Although I'd planned a few days previous my health kept me in doors. I was told of a pond, definitely not a carp puddle, localish and reasonably accessible. Despite an 80% forecast of rain I thought why not. It was my daughters fellas only day off this week so yesterday or nothing. Arriving at 0700, I couldn't manage any earlier despite my excitement, retirement has got to me and to get there at 0700 I had to be up at 0500. Early enough. One person fishing, 1st peg out of the car park, ha ha. No longer steady on my feet I don't walk round anymore. Five minutes with the binos an
    4 points
  15. I thoroughly love using a centrepin for trotting on the small streams and rivers that I fish, but not in all swims; some of the swims are too full of streamer weed and cabbages to allow me to trot very far. Plus the smaller streams that I fish have a lot of bends and overhanging branches which can make trotting a float a very precarious pastime in some cases. But the centrepin when in the hands of someone who really enjoys using it and who knows how to get the best out of using one is a tool that a lot of people just ignore; to their detriment in my view; however everyone is different and
    4 points
  16. I’ve just been to the chemist to get Mother’s prescription, I spoke to the pharmacist Alan asking if he sold hypodermic syringes, when he asked why I says, “I’m going to inject bleach to see if it works, not on myself of course but I have a list of people to try it out on!” He smiled (a rare occurrence) and says “Can I add some names to the list!”
    4 points
  17. Alas the ability to read and comprehend what others have written is not a strong point for some. I do try not to bother nowadays as really theres just no getting past those massive blinders but sometimes I can't resist the temptation to try. must be useful at times to be able to blissfully ignore what is going on in the surrounding world and live in ones own little fairy story.
    4 points
  18. I managed to get out when the virus first broke, bought 1,500 rolls of bog paper and 150 bottles of hand sanitiser, thought I would be ok but my sister is coming to stay as she lives in a post office with her daughter’s family and it’s not a good environment for protecting her from infection, so I went out today to get some more bog roll and the shelves are empty, bloody idiot hoarders and panic buyers.
    4 points
  19. Thanks for trying to explain my position Phone, but you've got somethings the wrong way round. It's not so much the 'culture' of the carp anglers in general, I have a few acquaintances, that are carp mad, and we still talk amicably it's a mixture of things. It's not the fault of a virus that it inflicts itself on other people, but we still want to try and control, or eradicate it. We can't eradicate the people who catch and spread the virus, only try and get them to accept more hygienic, and common sense methods to help reduce the impact of that virus. Carp are the virus, anglers are part
    4 points
  20. I saw some absolutely disgusting behaviour on the way through town today. There was a man and a woman having an almighty argument in front of a load of kids. Suddenly the woman just lost it, she was hysterical and smacked the guy straight in the head. It all kicked off then and there was a massive brawl. Someone must have called the police because this poor policeman turned up on his own. He was trying to stop the fight by hitting the man with his baton but the guy took the baton and was hammering the Policeman and the woman with it. Then out of the blue a crocodile appeared
    4 points
  21. They were good "in the day" but compared to most intrepids they were far superior . I have a boxful of Mitchells not worth selling on but dont collect them as such ,some are highly sought after but more to put on a shelf than a bank. I dont rate them today enough to use them but i do use abu closed face reels most trips from the same era they fulfil the need i use them for as most know on here i stupidly becan collecting intrepids this is about 2/3rds of my collection i cannot go back far enough to get them in all in the fram
    4 points
  22. John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me Life, between the legs of me wife!" That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night! He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the Best toast of the night." She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?" John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife." "Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!” Mary said. The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street Corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize
    3 points
  23. @Phone, your spelling needs a bit of work... “Outgoing President Trump In A Nutshell” should be... "Outgoing President Trump Is A Nutcase”
    3 points
  24. I've met him ! A minor club official with delusions of grandeur. Didn't have any I.D. on him but demanded to see my club card and licence. I told him to go climb a tree. Re the salties... The only other occasion where wildlife stopped me fishing was on the Oykel Fly fishing for Salmon , wading a rapid, above a deep pool, and was attacked by midges. I was not being bitten much, but two eyes full of midges meant I couldn.t see - in a fast current in midstream. Chucking handfuls of river water into my eyes was all I could do and the midges came back as soon as I stopped the i
    3 points
  25. I guess this a sign of the times and many of us will look back at the golden years fondly. I'm surprised any magazine is surviving at the moment. I can't remember the last time I went out and bought one. For many years, they've become an impulse, one-off type affair for many of us. It's sad, really. Magazines and comics defined my youth!
    3 points
  26. I would have preffered if she asked if i wanted some Bush
    3 points
  27. Reading it, it does appear your summing up is correct. The U.K. will continue to contribute towards the Defence of the EU with monies and troops. Under Article 6 (“the Union and the United Kingdom shall use their best endeavours to conclude and ratify such an agreement before 1 July 2020.”), best endeavours means jack shite in Law, so what it means is, if the EU refuse to budge on their demand for full access to U.K. Territorial Waters then they will continue to have full access. The deadline has passed, THIS is in breach of International Law under the jurisdiction of The UN. Th
    3 points
  28. Watercraft has many guises Keith
    3 points
  29. With the lockdown being lifted for a few sports etc, and with fishing being one of them I had a few hours on one of the clubs still waters today. I used a rod and reel I use on the river whilst trotting and it worked a treat on the still water just the same :). i caught countless carp and surprisingly, lots of chub!!
    3 points
  30. In their eyes if they are given the power to decide it can show it has power by not doing what others want! English heritage has such power so they close the bridge in the village for repairs for far longer than necessary just because they can! Give worthless bits of skin power and they WILL use it
    3 points
  31. My son damaged his calf ligaments, and was on crutches for a few weeks, then his partner fell, and injured her ankle, and neither could walk very far, so Grandad became chauffeur, child minder, and general dogsbody, for a while. The only chance I've had to go fishing, this year was the other week, when I saw a break in the wet and windy weather, and the river levels looked near normal. I haven't renewed my Leeds & District yearbook yet, so was limited in choice of venue, and decided on my old favourite, Wetherby. I arrived about 8 o'clock, and the river looked at an almost perfect level, c
    3 points
  32. You're right Ant, 20 years young! I was one of the first to join, on February 19th, and almost immediately became a moderator. Technically I was 'involved' with AN before it even started. At the time Elton, myself, and many others were on the rec.fishing.coarse.uk chat group (ethernet?) where I'd be replying to requests on where to fish. Then Elton contacted me to ask if I'd like to manage the fisheries database on a website he's hoping to make. I agreed, and the rest is history.
    3 points
  33. Oh look, a post by clod I can agree with.
    3 points
  34. text set out below is from someone who I voted for to be sacked. Guess who cod. yes it came from a daily rag this morning. It is more truthful than your misery you are peddling. As a test to see if you actually read text you don't want to comprehend, I wonder if you will claim that 17.4 million where either duped or they are the far right. One other detail that is a fact, 4 million plus labour voters also voted to leave, Corbyn and co blatantly ignored their wishes. Weren't the newspapers fault. A lot of MPs had tried to make the Election about stopping Brexit: Jo Swinson, Phill
    3 points
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