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  1. Winding down - angling as one gets older and frailer. Having caught shark, marlin, and sturgeon over 300 lb, and several hundred species from places as diverse as the Amazon Basin, the Australian outback, the Southern Ocean, the Caribbean coral flats and the streams of the American Divide. It is with some disbelief that I find age, muscle weakness and increasingly severe angina drastically limiting where I can fish. I have always loved catching wild fish in wild places, which has had me fishing in all seven oceans, and six of the seven continents. (went to the seventh – Antarcti
    6 points
  2. I ordered a Chinese meal last night. Chinese driver came to our door and I walked out to meet him. He started shouting "isolate" "isolate" I said you’re not that late, I only ordered 25 minutes ago!
    6 points
  3. Damn site more than i caught ,i popped down the river for a couple of hours ,just as i leant forward to drop the float in the bank slid and down i went. The rivers not deep just waist deep in the pool i was trying to fish but getting out was a laugh ,fricking cold and very muddy ! In the end i walked downstream to where the bank was easier to climb but i went down more times than i went up. Must have been a great sight walking along the road ,one hand holding a muddy bag and rod the other desperately trying to hold up sodden muddy trousers with a broken string ! Probably cu
    6 points
  4. Extract from Tony Blair's book! 'I had regularly started jogging out of Downing Street . On each run I happened to jog past a hooker (prostitute) standing on the same street corner, day after day. With some apprehension I would brace myself as I approached her for what was most certainly to follow. "Fifty Pounds!" she would shout from the kerb. "No way, 50 pence!" I fired back. This ritual between myself and the hooker continued for days. I'd run by and she'd yell, "Fifty Pounds!" And I'd yell back "50 pence!" One day, however, my wife Cherie decide
    5 points
  5. I was naked when I met the postman at the front door this morning. I don't know what surprised him most, that I was naked, or that I knew where he lived. I've been told that a good way of letting go of your anger towards other people is to write letters to those you hate and then burn them. I've done that, but do I have to keep the letters? After finding 5 Mars, 3 Snickers, a Galaxy and a Twix in this Celebrations box, I'm starting to think I'm not cut out to be a Bounty hunter. Boss: "This is the third time you have been late for work this week. You know what this means, don't
    5 points
  6. Well, I'm glad nobody has written my obituary! Thanks for all the kind remarks - especially about the book. I reconnected yesterday - see Tiggers thread 're a few hours out. Still fishing in my 87th year, albeit just small still waters due to ever increasing angina problems.
    5 points
  7. An Australian Army Recruit sends home a letter to the family. Dear Mum & Dad, I am well, hope youse are too? Tell me big brothers Doug and Phil that the Army is better than workin’ on the farm - tell them to get in quick smart before the jobs are all gone! I wuz a bit slow in settling down at first, because ya don’t hafta get outta bed until 6am. But I like sleeping in now, cuz all ya gotta do before brekky is make ya bed and shine ya boots and clean ya uniform. No cows to milk, no calves to feed, no feed to stack - nothin’!! Ya haz gotta shower though, but its not
    4 points
  8. Except in a river or stream Regarding the information about the wind i have come to realise Millenials dont have a sense of consequence, you see them on youtube falling foul of obvious pitfalls any 'normal' adult will predict so everything has to be explained and most likely every time it's published because when you live on a phone there is no need to remember anything, its a wonder some remember to breathe !
    4 points
  9. All, One day, Little Johnny saw his grandpa smoking his cigarettes. Little Johnny asked, “Grandpa, can I smoke some of your cigarettes?” His grandpa replied, “Can your pen!s reach your a$shole?” “No”, said Little Johnny. His grandpa replied, “Then you’re not old enough.” The next day, Little Johnny saw his grandpa drinking beer. He asked, “Grandpa, can I drink some of your beer?” His grandpa replied, “Can your pen!s reach your a$shole?” “No” said Little Johhny. “Then you’re not old enough.” his grandpa replied. The
    4 points
  10. 16/08 a couple of weeks ago obliterating my PB caught 3 Chub. And this one on the same boilie lol
    4 points
  11. all, When one door closes and another door opens, you are probably in prison. * * * * * * * * * * * * To me, "drink responsibly" means don't spill it. * * * * * * * * * * * * Age 60 might be the new 40, but 9:00 pm is the new midnight. * * * * * * * * * * * * When I say, "The other day," I could be referring to any time between yesterday and 15 years ago. * * * * * * * * * * * * I remember being able to get up without making sound effects. * * * * * * * * * * * * I had my patience tested. I'm negative. *
    4 points
  12. Well folks, we arrived at the venue - Kippax Park Lakes about 8:15 Wed' Morning for my first session since last September & Trevor's first a couple of years!! Not the best of starts, as when untangling the 3 made up rods I took, hadn't noticed I'd knocked the landing net (Handle & all) into the swim so had to borrow one from the office at least until a lovely old fella, Lawrence came round later & dragged mine out with a grappling hook - He's part of the furniture there & has never failed (he says) to get "Gone In" pole sections etc. Incidentally he always brings with him the o
    4 points
  13. Although I'd planned a few days previous my health kept me in doors. I was told of a pond, definitely not a carp puddle, localish and reasonably accessible. Despite an 80% forecast of rain I thought why not. It was my daughters fellas only day off this week so yesterday or nothing. Arriving at 0700, I couldn't manage any earlier despite my excitement, retirement has got to me and to get there at 0700 I had to be up at 0500. Early enough. One person fishing, 1st peg out of the car park, ha ha. No longer steady on my feet I don't walk round anymore. Five minutes with the binos an
    4 points
  14. I thoroughly love using a centrepin for trotting on the small streams and rivers that I fish, but not in all swims; some of the swims are too full of streamer weed and cabbages to allow me to trot very far. Plus the smaller streams that I fish have a lot of bends and overhanging branches which can make trotting a float a very precarious pastime in some cases. But the centrepin when in the hands of someone who really enjoys using it and who knows how to get the best out of using one is a tool that a lot of people just ignore; to their detriment in my view; however everyone is different and
    4 points
  15. I’ve just been to the chemist to get Mother’s prescription, I spoke to the pharmacist Alan asking if he sold hypodermic syringes, when he asked why I says, “I’m going to inject bleach to see if it works, not on myself of course but I have a list of people to try it out on!” He smiled (a rare occurrence) and says “Can I add some names to the list!”
    4 points
  16. Alas the ability to read and comprehend what others have written is not a strong point for some. I do try not to bother nowadays as really theres just no getting past those massive blinders but sometimes I can't resist the temptation to try. must be useful at times to be able to blissfully ignore what is going on in the surrounding world and live in ones own little fairy story.
    4 points
  17. I managed to get out when the virus first broke, bought 1,500 rolls of bog paper and 150 bottles of hand sanitiser, thought I would be ok but my sister is coming to stay as she lives in a post office with her daughter’s family and it’s not a good environment for protecting her from infection, so I went out today to get some more bog roll and the shelves are empty, bloody idiot hoarders and panic buyers.
    4 points
  18. Thanks for trying to explain my position Phone, but you've got somethings the wrong way round. It's not so much the 'culture' of the carp anglers in general, I have a few acquaintances, that are carp mad, and we still talk amicably it's a mixture of things. It's not the fault of a virus that it inflicts itself on other people, but we still want to try and control, or eradicate it. We can't eradicate the people who catch and spread the virus, only try and get them to accept more hygienic, and common sense methods to help reduce the impact of that virus. Carp are the virus, anglers are part
    4 points
  19. I saw some absolutely disgusting behaviour on the way through town today. There was a man and a woman having an almighty argument in front of a load of kids. Suddenly the woman just lost it, she was hysterical and smacked the guy straight in the head. It all kicked off then and there was a massive brawl. Someone must have called the police because this poor policeman turned up on his own. He was trying to stop the fight by hitting the man with his baton but the guy took the baton and was hammering the Policeman and the woman with it. Then out of the blue a crocodile appeared
    4 points
  20. They were good "in the day" but compared to most intrepids they were far superior . I have a boxful of Mitchells not worth selling on but dont collect them as such ,some are highly sought after but more to put on a shelf than a bank. I dont rate them today enough to use them but i do use abu closed face reels most trips from the same era they fulfil the need i use them for as most know on here i stupidly becan collecting intrepids this is about 2/3rds of my collection i cannot go back far enough to get them in all in the fram
    4 points
  21. Pffft! Not for me. "The Horse"
    3 points
  22. The SBS should have shot them on sight.
    3 points
  23. Can we have a time frame for when this "**** is hitting the fan" please. I've been waiting at least a couple of years and I have roses to grow in the spring.
    3 points
  24. I guess this a sign of the times and many of us will look back at the golden years fondly. I'm surprised any magazine is surviving at the moment. I can't remember the last time I went out and bought one. For many years, they've become an impulse, one-off type affair for many of us. It's sad, really. Magazines and comics defined my youth!
    3 points
  25. I was a rocker with a bike, not an incel on a scooter
    3 points
  26. Thinking more Eggshell Emulsion to cut out the glare!! - Oooh, You are a Wag Dave. Beautiful reel Ian. It's great to be an owner of nice things!!
    3 points
  27. To be honest, to take a photo i'm happy with the pictures my phone takes, and I nearly always have it with me....just gott'a get a decent fish now! After saying that, I do have a picture of my first actual weighed double on my float gear. It was a wierd scenario that day as I kept telling yself that my tenth fish would be a double, I won't go through the tale again as I told it on here a few years ago when it happened...it is a true tale though and my tenth fish did turn out to be over 10lbs!, Here's a couple of the fish before I got the tenth one...
    3 points
  28. I'm not trying to teach my granny to suck eggs here, but....Chesters, your wrong bud. If fishing a parrot cage swims as you describe, you simply cast straight out (rod pointing forward, or at any angle) and wally your float/ lead, whatever out. You don't have to cast from the side, or from the back to wally cast. Infact, casting with a centrepin is easier and more accurate up to around 30 or so yards out than of using a fixed spool reel. Alan showed me how to perform the cast needed for a constricted swim also. Just for reference, I very often fish in seriously overgrown swims
    3 points
  29. With the lockdown being lifted for a few sports etc, and with fishing being one of them I had a few hours on one of the clubs still waters today. I used a rod and reel I use on the river whilst trotting and it worked a treat on the still water just the same :). i caught countless carp and surprisingly, lots of chub!!
    3 points
  30. All good, thanks. Sorry - just trying to keep on top everything right now is proving difficult. She was lethargic for a while, after the main symptoms passed, but seems a lot better now.
    3 points
  31. I must have written at least a half dozen replies to comments on this thread, and then deleted them HV. This time I couldn't help it. To try and score some petty political points on the backs of the sick and dying, is as low an anyone can stoop, and I couldn't let it go. Every evening, as well as the horrific news reports, we get a facetime call from my daughter checking that we are ok. It breaks our hearts to see and hear the stress, danger and even abuse that her and her colleagues are subjected to every day, and they still keep smiling for the sake of their patients. We can't even give her
    3 points
  32. Not too keen on Roman Catholics myself Phone but that’s pushing into barbarity.
    3 points
  33. My son damaged his calf ligaments, and was on crutches for a few weeks, then his partner fell, and injured her ankle, and neither could walk very far, so Grandad became chauffeur, child minder, and general dogsbody, for a while. The only chance I've had to go fishing, this year was the other week, when I saw a break in the wet and windy weather, and the river levels looked near normal. I haven't renewed my Leeds & District yearbook yet, so was limited in choice of venue, and decided on my old favourite, Wetherby. I arrived about 8 o'clock, and the river looked at an almost perfect level, c
    3 points
  34. I had the last hour of daylight on the river today and it was more than enough! Ok, it was only 6 degrees but the wind made it feel much colder and it made my hands and especially my fingers ache like hell. Anyhow, the hours trotting/torture produced quite a few small chub and I lost one that felt quite decent to a hook pull.
    3 points
  35. Thinking about it - must have been another forum I was on (which I no longer use) alongside A.N.
    3 points
  36. text set out below is from someone who I voted for to be sacked. Guess who cod. yes it came from a daily rag this morning. It is more truthful than your misery you are peddling. As a test to see if you actually read text you don't want to comprehend, I wonder if you will claim that 17.4 million where either duped or they are the far right. One other detail that is a fact, 4 million plus labour voters also voted to leave, Corbyn and co blatantly ignored their wishes. Weren't the newspapers fault. A lot of MPs had tried to make the Election about stopping Brexit: Jo Swinson, Phill
    3 points
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