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CactusJack

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About CactusJack

  • Birthday 04/16/1952

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  • Gender
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  • Location
    Berkshire

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  1. Only one decent drink on the planet. Newcastle Brown Ale. Although I will personally drink cresote if the tops off lol. RonB
  2. Bring hanging back, I would gladly pull the lever on those two. RonB
  3. Personally I think fireworks should be banned, fullstop. But its a multi million pound business and the government would do anything. These so called fireworks go off from mid October till mid November in my area and most of the time its teenagers doing it for a laugh,not for the actual display of colour. Call me a killjoy,but thats what comes of growing older and wiser. RonB.
  4. Hi all, Had a good day at Felix Farm. Got 5 out lost another one at side of boat. Two around 3lb mark and others around 2lb. Two caught on a Dawsons Olive others on a Black Booby. RonB
  5. We have a huge council house in our street. The extended family is run by a grumpy old woman with a pack of fierce dogs. Her car isn't taxed or insured, and doesn't even have a number plate, but the police still do nothing. Her bad tempered old man is famous for upsetting foreigners with racist comments. A local shopkeeper blames him for ordering the murder of his son and his son's girlfriend, but nothing has been proved yet. All their kids have broken marriages except the youngest, who everyone thought was gay. Two grandsons are meant to be in the Army but are always seen out in nightclubs. The family's odd antics are always in the papers. They are out of control... Honestly - who'd live near Windsor Castle ???
  6. It's only a matter of time before some human rights group say it offends the ethnics. Fireworks will be banned eventually,same as flying the flag on St Georges Day or having an illuminated christmas tree in a shop window. We live in a multicultured country now and must conform, ( to the areas where politicians hope for their vote).
  7. Please Be Extremely Careful especially if using internet mail such as Yahoo, Hotmail, AOL and so on. This information arrived this morning direct from both Microsoft and Norton. Please send it to everybody you know who has access to the Internet. You may receive an apparently harmless email with a Power Point presentation 'Life is beautiful..' If you receive it DO NOT OPEN THE FILE UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES , and delete it immediately. If you op en this file, a message will appear on your screen saying: 'It is too late now, your life is no longer beautiful.' Subsequently you will LOSE EVERYTHING IN YOUR PC and the person who sent it to you will gain access to your name, e-mail and password. This is a new virus which started to circulate on Saturday afternoon. AOL has already confirmed the severity, and the antivirus software's are not capable of destroying it. The virus has been created by a hacker who calls himself 'life owner.'
  8. 1. A murderer is condemned to death. He has to choose between three rooms. The first is full of raging fires, the second is full of assassins with loaded guns, and the third is full of lions that haven't eaten in 3 years. Which room is safest for him? 2. A woman shoots her husband. Then she holds him under water for over five minutes. Finally, she hangs him. But five minutes later they both go out together and enjoy a wonderful dinner. How can this be? 3. What is black when you buy it, red when you use it, and gray when you throw it away? 4. Can you name three consecutive days without using the words Wednesday, Friday, or Sunday? 5. This is an unusual paragraph. I'm curious as to just how quickly you can find out what is so unusual about it. It looks so ordinary and plain that you would think nothing was wrong with it. In fact, nothing is wrong with it! It is highly unusual though. Study it and think about it, but you still may not find anything odd. But if you work at it a bit, you might find out. Try to do so without any coaching! (Scroll down for the answers) Answers: 1. The third room. Lions that haven't eaten in three years are dead. That one was easy, right? 2. The woman was a photographer. She shot a picture of her husband, developed it, and hung it up to dry (shot; held under water; and hung). 3. Charcoal, as it is used in barbecuing. 4. Sure you can name three consecutive days, yesterday, today, and tomorrow! 5. The letter "e", which is the most common letter used in the English language, does not appear even once in the paragraph.
  9. REST OF THE WORLD VERSION The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building and improving his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The Grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the squirrel is warm and well fed. The shivering grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold. THE END ______________________________________________________ THE ENGLISH VERSION The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the squirrel is warm and well fed. A social worker finds the shivering grasshopper, calls a press conference and demands to know why the squirrel should be allowed to be warm and well-fed while others less fortunate, like the grasshopper, are cold and starving. BBC TV shows up to provide live coverage of the shivering grasshopper, with cuts to a video of the squirrel in his comfortable warm home with a table laden with food. UK press informs people that they should be ashamed that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so, while others have plenty. The Labour Party, the Greens, Family First, Greenpeace, Animal Rights and The Grasshopper Council of England demonstrate in front of the squirrel's house. The BBC, interrupting a cultural festival special from Notting Hill with breaking news, broadcasts a multicultural choir singing "We Shall Overcome". Deputy Prime Minister, John Prescott, rants in a TV interview with Jeremy Paxman that the squirrel has got rich off the backs of grasshoppers, and calls for an immediate tax-hike on the squirrel to make him pay his "fair share", and increases the charge for squirrels to enter Birmingham city centre. In response to pressure from the media, the Government drafts the Economic Equity and Grasshopper Anti-Discrimination Act, retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The squirrel's taxes are reassessed. He is taken to court and fined for failing to hire grasshoppers as builders for the work he was doing on his home, and an additional fine for contempt when he told the court the grasshopper did not want to work. The grasshopper is provided with a council house, financial aid to furnish it, and an account with a local taxi firm to ensure he can be socially mobile. The squirrel's food is seized and redistributed to the more needy members of society, in this case the grasshopper. Without enough money to buy more food, to pay the fine and his newly imposed retroactive taxes, the squirrel has to downsize and start building a new home. The local authority takes over his old home and utilises it as a temporary home for asylum-seeking cats who had hijacked a plane to get to the UK as they had to share their country of origin with mice. On arrival, they tried to blow up the airport because of the English people's apparent love of dogs. The cats had been arrested for the international offence of hijacking and attempted bombing but were immediately released because the police had fed them pilchards instead of salmon whilst in custody. Initial moves to then return them to their own country were abandoned because it was feared they would face death at the paws of the mice. The cats devise and start a scam to obtain money from people's credit cards. A '60 Minutes Special' shows the grasshopper finishing up the last of the squirrel's food, though spring is still months away, while the council house he is in crumbles around him because he hasn't bothered to maintain the house. He is shown to be taking drugs. Inadequate government funding is blamed for the grasshopper's drug "illness". The cats seek recompense in the High Court for their treatment since arrival in the UK . The grasshopper is arrested for stabbing an old dog during a burglary to get money for his drugs habit. He is imprisoned but released immediately because he has already been in custody for a few weeks. He is placed in the care of the probation service to monitor and supervise him. Within a few weeks he has killed a guinea pig in a botched robbery. A commission of enquiry, that will eventually cost £10,000,000 and state the obvious, is set up. Additional money is put into funding a drug rehabilitation scheme for grasshoppers, and legal aid for lawyers representing asylum seekers is increased. The asylum-seeking cats are praised by the government for enriching UK 's multicultural diversity, and dogs are criticised by the PM and the government for failing to befriend the cats. The grasshopper dies of a drug overdose. The usual sections of the press blame it on the obvious failure of government to address the root causes of despair arising from social inequity and his traumatic experience of prison. They call for the resignation of a minister. The cats are paid £1m each because their rights were infringed when the government failed to inform them there were mice in the UK. The squirrel, the dogs and the victims of the hijacking, the bombing, the burglaries and the robberies have to pay an additional percentage on their credit cards to cover corporate losses, their taxes are increased to pay for law and order, and they are told that they will all have to work beyond the age of 65 because of a shortfall in government funds.
  10. I listened to a radio documentary a few months ago where a certain anti smoking organisation had lobbied the government and hoped to have the driver of any vehicle banned from smoking whilst driving.They said this ban would be in place wihin the next two years. Well I for one would ignore this ban. It's my car, I paid a lot of money for it. Ron.
  11. Unfortunately there are a lot of disfunctional drivers in my area, my wife is disabled and finds walking painful. I suppose it's my own fault for living in such an affluent area where courtesy is virtually non existant. Our disabled bays are full of 4x4's, mercs and bmw's. It's a sad reflection of todays society I'm afraid,but hey, those less courtious drivers will be old or disabled one day. Ron.
  12. Hi. I mostly fish at Felix Farm. New website under construction. Barn Elms is good www.barnelmsfishery.co.uk Haywards Lake is another good one www.haywardsfarmfishery.co.uk Hope this helps. Ron.
  13. Hi Wiggly, Thanks for the welcome and the comments about the pic. I,ll look into the photocomp area. Cheers Ron
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