Posh and Becks are sitting in front of the television watching the six
o'clock news. The main story is a man threatening to jump off the Clifton
Suspension Bridge on to the busy road below. Posh turns to Becks and says:
"David, I bet you £5,000 that he jumps!" to which Beckham replies "£5,000?
Done! I bet that he doesn't."
So they shake hands on the bet and continue watching. Sure enough, the man
jumps and hits the road below with a loud thud.
Beckham takes £5,000 out of his back pocket and hands it to Posh.
But she refuses. "I can't take your money, David," she says. "The truth is,
he was cheating. I saw the five o'clock news, so I knew he was going to
"No, babe, fair's fair" says David. "That money is yours fair and square I
was cheating just as you were. I saw the five o'clock news, too.
I just didn't think he would do it again."
The Manchester United players are in the dressing room on Saturday just
before the game, when Roy Keane walks in. "Boss," he says, "there's a
problem. I'm not playing unless I get a cortisone injection."
"Hey," says Becks. "If he's having a new car, so am I."
David Beckham goes shopping, and sees something interesting in the kitchen
department of a large department store. "What's that?" he asks.
"A Thermos flask," replies the assistant.
What does it do?" asks Becks.
The assistant tells him it keeps hot things hot and cold things cold.
Really impressed, Beckham buys one and takes it along to his next training
"Here, boys, look at this," Beckham says proudly. "It's a Thermos flask."
The lads are impressed. "What does it do?" they ask.
"It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold, "says David.
"And what have you got in it?" asks Roy Keane.
"Two cups of coffee and a Choc ice," replies David.
Posh takes her car into a garage to have some dents removed. The mechanic
knowing she isn't the brightest Spice Girl in the world, decides to play a
joke on her.
"You don't need me to take those dents out," he says. "Just blow up the
exhaust pipe and the metal will pop back into place".
So she takes the car home and tries it. David spots her from the house,
opens a window and shouts "You silly cow! You have to wind the windows up
David Beckham is celebrating: "57 days, 57 days!" he shouts happily. Posh
asks him why he is celebrating. He answers: "Well, I've done this jigsaw in
only 57 days."
"Is that good?" asks Posh.
"You bet," says David. "It says 3 to 5 years on the box."
Victoria Beckham and her driver were cruising along a country road one
evening when a cow ran in front of the car. The driver tried to avoid it but
couldn't -the cow was killed. Posh told her driver to go up to the farmhouse
and explain to the owners what happened. About an hour later, the driver
staggered back to the car with his clothes in disarray. He was holding a
bottle of wine in one hand, a cigar in the other and smiling happily.
"What happened?" asked Posh .
"Well," the driver replied, "the farmer gave me the wine, his wife gave me
the cigar, and their beautiful daughter made mad passionate love to me."
"My God, what did you tell them?" asked Posh.
The driver replied: "I'm Victoria Beckham's driver, and I just killed the