Johnny Boy

( in response to Dang!) Diddly.

Tyke, In relation to raising the height level of your patio, make sure you stay at least a brick (preferably 2) below the house dampcourse. You might want to build a nice insulated shed out there if she goes through with that threat!

A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer. All of a sudden, he said out loud, "Lord grant me one wish." Suddenly the sky clouded above his head and in a booming voice the Lord said, "Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish." The man said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii, so I can drive over anytime I want." The Lord said, "Your request is very materialistic. Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of another wish, a wish you think would honor and glorify me." The man thought about it for a long time. Finally he said, "Lord, I wish that I could understand women. I want to know how they feel inside, what they are thinking when they give me the silent treatment, why they cry, what they mean when they say 'nothing', and how I can make a woman truly happy." The Lord replied, "You want two lanes or four on that bridge?"

Nowt wrong with Satan , my man ! See, I only read the abbridged version of the bible, and that only had 10 commandments in it !

LOL @ Chesters1

Never mind. We should have Mars and the moon colonised by the time all this happens! Bushy and Teflon Tony will find the money to get themselves out of here before the real disasters set in. Oops, they are the real disasters !

Keep your eyes on young Jenson ! That BAR's going well at the moment. The renault engine could be too new and unreliable to last all weekend! Schueys got his biggest challenge yet this season. The young bloods are out to prove themselves this year.

mars

weeping

<geordy accent> a battleship, man ! <end accent>

Chafing

Dunno, cant see any cockles on the building!

avarice

If they're trully that large, I dont think they'll feel anything.

The Season starts on March 7th, and the testing results over the winter make for some interesting reading. Looks like being a more interesting season, this time,with perhaps more than 3 main contenders. Anyone got any tips for who'll be 2004 World Champion?

I found I couldnt get one till Id done 15 posts, mate.

And a fine pair, to boot !

Pleasant

Totally Unique, Kendo, as I well know . :confused:

NEWS Microsoft offers security update CDs Disc offers updates only through Oct. 15, 2003 By Joris Evers, IDG News Service February 19, 2004 Microsoft Corp. has started taking orders for the Windows Security Update CD, a disc with all critical updates released through October 2003 for various Windows versions. The CD-ROM is meant especially for Windows users with slow, dial-up Internet connections that can make downloading updates a nightmare. However, because the disc offers updates only through Oct. 15, 2003, Microsoft still recommends users go to the Windows Update Web site to get the latest updates, the company said in a statement. The move to make update discs available worldwide follows an initiative by Microsoft in Japan where thousands of security update CDs were given away last year in the wake of a spate of virus and worm attacks. Users in various countries can order the Windows Security Update CD at no cost; shipping will take between two and four weeks. As a bonus, the disc includes information on PC protection and free trial versions of antivirus and firewall software, according to the Microsoft Web site. The disc is currently available only in select countries. These include the U.S., Canada, Australia, New Zealand and several countries in Asia, including Japan, India and China. The only European country in which the CD is offered today is the U.K. It will be available in other countries and other languages beginning Feb. 23, Microsoft said. The Windows Security Update CD is available for Windows XP, Windows Millennium Edition (ME), Windows 2000, Windows 98, and Windows 98 Second Edition (SE). Windows users can request the Windows Security Update CD here: Microsoft CD web page

BIRTHDAY GIFT . A young man wanted to purchase a gift for his girlfriend's birthday and as thay had not been dating for very long he decided after careful considertion that a pair of gloves would strike the right note,Thoughful ,But not too personal . Accompanied by his girlfriends sister,He went to harrods and bought a dainty pair of white gloves. The sister purchased a pair of panties for herself at the same time. During the wrapping,The shop assistant mixed up the items,The sister got the gloves & the young man got the panties. Without checking the contents,The man sent the parcel to his girlfriend with the following note: To my dear love I chose these because I noticed that you are not in the habit of wearing any when you go out in the evening's . If it had not been for you're sister I would have chosen the long ones with the buttons , But she wears short ones that are easier to remove . These are a delicate shade , The shop assistant I bought them from showed me the pair she had been wearing for the last 3 weeks they were hardly soiled at all. I had her try you'res on for me and , although they were a little tight thay looked really smart . She told me that the material helped to keep her ring clean and shiny ,In fact she hasn't had to wash it since she began wearing them . I wish I could put them on for you , As no doubt , Many other hands will touch them before I have the chance to see you again . When you take them off , Remember to blow into them before putting them away as they will naturally be a little damp from wearing . Just think how many times my lips will kiss them in the coming year . I hope you will wear them for me on friday night. PS. The latest style is to wear them folded down with a little fur showing. LOVE JO.xx

Computer Terms 486 - The average IQ needed to understand a PC. State-of-the-art - Any computer you can't afford. Obsolete - Any computer you own. Microsecond - The time it takes for your state-of-the-art computer to become obsolete. G3 - Apple's new Macs that make you say "Gee, three times faster than the computer I bought for the same price a Microsecond ago." Syntax Error - Walking into a computer store and saying, "Hi, I want to buy a computer and money is no object." Hard Drive - The sales technique employed by computer salesmen, esp. after a Syntax Error. GUI - What your computer becomes after spilling your coffee on it. (pronounced "gooey") Keyboard - The standard way to generate computer errors. Mouse - An advanced input device to make computer errors easier to generate. Floppy - The state of your wallet after purchasing a computer. Portable Computer - A device invented to force businessmen to work at home, on vacation, and on business trips. Disk Crash - A typical computer response to any critical deadline. Power User - Anyone who can format a disk from DOS. System Update - A quick method of trashing ALL of your software.

net

It could be comfy to sit on though, especially if still warm !

Sorry on several counts, Alan. I didnt mean to pick at anybody with my earlier post, just saying what I saw. I have lurked here long enough to get a handle on most of you regulars, and I like what I see and read. Thats why I am becoming more active here. Sorry if I rubbed your fur the wrong way. But, Its too early for me to take sides with you on this one. Sorry . Have fun all, Ill be elsewhere on the board.