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Chris Plumb

Anglers' Net Contributor
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Everything posted by Chris Plumb

  1. Howard - I'll re-send it tonight - it's on my home PC. As for feeders/bombs I'd bring a selection - bearing in mind that the river will be high, you may need 2oz+ to hold station on the far bank. If we can get to the bottom swims - or you dom't mind standing in water then someting lighter would probably be OK as the 'holes' are tight to 'your' bank. I personally will try to keep as mobile as possible, you can park by the water. My plan will be to rove in the morning - back to the picnic area for lunch (I've got me stove so it'll be hot stew, french bread and an accetpable Australian red!!!) and then fish with the feeder in the afternoon. ATB Chris
  2. What are folks doing afterwards?? I quite understand if you want to get away, however Paul and I will be stopping of for a beer and a nosebag at the Bear and Ragged Staff just up the road. You can see it to the north of Timsbury on this map Paul has just sent me this e-mail about the place.... "Just spoken to Bear & Ragged Staff at Michelmersh, open all day on Saturday,serving sandwiches, nachos, and ciabatta rolls. Starts serving proper evening meals at 6:00pm, and has at least 4 real ales. Not sure if you want to pass that onto people, but it certainly sounds like a place to stop for a bite before heading home. More restauranty than pubby, as most people go there specifically to eat. This is on the road north of Timsbury. Didn't ask about prices though," Chris
  3. 2002 Darwins can be viewed here... 2002 Darwin Nominations No. 4 I've certainly seen before and I think was an early winner of a DA. And whilst it has been doing the rounds on the Internet for some years it is one of those VERY rare tales that does appear to be true! Check out this page of the great Urban Legends debunking site Snopes..... No. 5 was the winner in 1993... Chris [ 22. January 2003, 08:43 AM: Message edited by: Chris Plumb ]
  4. Great stuff Newt - one of the first truely great sites on the Internet & still going strong - definitely one of my Favs..... Chris
  5. DON'T PANIC!!!! I've just spoken to the fishery!! Bottom part above the road bridge has burst it's banks and is only fishable with waders - That accounts for about 300 yards of the main river. The rest is fine! Water clarity is OK(The main consideration for Grayling) and the venue has been fishing well this week with a good number of 1 - 2lb roach showing on the main river on the swims above the island. (I'll point these out to anyone that's interested when you get there!) I was gonna call on Thursday for an update but won't unless conditions deterioate markedly. Dave - if you want to double check yourself before setting off on Thursday the phone nos. of the fishery are..... 01264 365165 or 07703 471312 or 07759 331385 With a dry end to the week forecast I'm not at all worried. See you all Sat. Chris
  6. For many years Private Eye have run a short column high-lighting 'bloopers' that have been made during Sports Commentaries. Named after the master of the genre - David Coleman here are some 'classics': "Sure, there have been deaths in boxing but none of them serious."(Alan Minter) "And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!" (Pat Glenn - weightlifting commentator) "Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Darryl Gibson comes inside of him."(New Zealand rugby commentator Murray Mexted) "This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother." (TedWalsh horse racing commentator) "I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body." (Winston Bennett) "The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical." (Murray Walker - F1 racing commentator) "I owe a lot to my parents, especially my father and mother." (Greg Norman) "If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again." (Terry Venables) "I would not say that David Ginola is the best left winger in the Premiership, but there are none better." (Ron Atkinson) "Ah, isn't that nice. The wife of the Cambridge president is kissing the cox of the Oxford crew." (Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977) "Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field " (Metro Radio) "Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seems to hang in the air for even longer." (David Acfield) "What will you do when you leave football, Jack. Will you stay in football? (Stuart Hall - Radio 5 live) "And there goes Juantorena down the back straight, opening his legs and showing his class." (David Coleman at the Montreal Olympics) "One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them.....Oh my God! What have I just said?!!!" (US PGA Commentator) "For those of you who are watching in black and white, the blue is behind the brown"(Snooker commentator) True story... a female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked "So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too as they were laughing so hard! Chris [ 21. January 2003, 08:57 AM: Message edited by: Chris Plumb ]
  7. My 5 goes... 78lb 11oz, 81lb, 7oz, 83lb 2oz, 87lb 4oz, 90lb 8oz. Chris
  8. You might want to check out this thread Chris
  9. I had a big (10oz) dace leap a good 2-3 foot on the Itchen last week. I really thought it was a trout or grayling and was VERY surprised to slip the net under a peach of a dace (my 1st, ever from the Itchen) Chris
  10. Possibly old, probably illegal... Net Regulations. Chris
  11. This site any use? Chris
  12. Tis oft said the the humble gudgeon are very game for their size (5oz! would be the British record). Having caught very small barbel in the same session as similar sized gudgeon I'm not so sure - the baby barbs certainly fought harder. A 2lb dace from a fast river would put up SOME scrap and I suspect would put a chub of similar size to shame. If grayling grew to 10lb they'd be awesome - I just can't imagine how I'd get one in! Chris
  13. Welcome aboard Glenn - 'bout time we saw you on here!! Prayer mats out for not tooo much rain this week. See you Saturday. Chris
  14. Umm, current PB's in the Plumb household... Sam (aged 8) 1748 Matt (aged11) 950 - & thoroughly hacked off with his taunting younger bruv. Dad (aged 42) too embarrased to say!! Too bloddy addictive for words... Chris
  15. Cinderella was now 75 years old. After a fulfilling life with the now dead Prince, she happily sat upon her rocking chair, watching the world go by from her front porch, with a cat called Alan for companionship. One sunny afternoon, out of nowhere, appeared the Fairy Godmother. Cinderella said "Fairy Godmother, what are you doing here after all these years?" The Fairy Godmother replied "Well Cinderella, since you have lived a good wholesome life since we last met, I have decided to grant you 3 wishes. Is there anything for which your heart still yearns?" Cinderella is taken aback, overjoyed and after some thoughtful consideration and almost under her breath she uttered her first wish: "I wish I was wealthy beyond comprehension." Instantly, her rocking chair was turned into solid gold. Cinderella was stunned. Alan, her old faithful cat, jumped off her lap and scampered to the edge of the porch, quivering with fear. Cinderella said "Oh thank you, Fairy Godmother". The Fairy Godmother replied "It is the least I can do. What does your heart wish for your second wish?" Cinderella looked down at her frail body, and said: "I wish I was young and full of the beauty of youth again". At once, her wish having been desired, became reality, and her beautiful youthful visage had returned. Cinderella felt stirrings inside her that had been dormant for years and long forgotten vigour and vitality began to course through her very soul. Then the Fairy Godmother again spoke: "You have one more wish, What shall you have?" Cinderella looked over to the frightened cat in the corner and said: "I wish you to transform Alan my old cat into a beautiful and handsome young man". Magically, Alan suddenly underwent so fundamental a change in his biological make-up, that when complete he stood before her, a boy, so beautiful the like of which she nor the world had ever seen, so fair indeed that birds began to fall from the sky at his feet. The Fairy Godmother again spoke: "Congratulations, Cinderella Enjoy your new life." And, with a blazing shock of bright blue electricity, she was gone. For a few eerie moments, Alan and Cinderella looked into each other's eyes. Cinderella sat, breathless, gazing at the most stunningly perfect boy she had ever seen. Then Alan walked over to Cinderella, who sat transfixed in her rocking chair, and held her close in his young muscular arms. He leant in close to her ear, and into her ear breathed as much as whispered, blowing her golden hair with his warm breath, and said... ..."I bet you regret having me castrated now, don't you?" Chris
  16. You have been warned... 1. Why do gay men wear ribbed condoms ? For traction in the mud. 2. What is the difference between medium and rare ? Six inches is medium, eight inches is rare. 3. What's a mixed feeling ? When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car. 4. What's the height of conceit ? Having an orgasm and calling out your own name. 5. What's the definition of macho ? Jogging home from your own vasectomy. 6. Why do Irish men wear two condoms ? To be sure, to be sure. 7. What's the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball ? A guy will actually search for a golf ball. 8. Why is divorce so expensive ? Because it's worth it. 9. What is a Yankee ? The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone. 10. What do Tupperware and a walrus have in common ? They both like a tight seal. 11. What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common ? Their balls are just for decoration. 12. What do you call a lesbian with fat fingers ? Well hung. 13. What's the difference between purple and pink ? The grip. 14. How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony ? It's not hard. 15. What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife ? 2 stone. 16. What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband ? 45 minutes. 17. Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact ? Breasts don't have eyes. 18. If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love ? Swallow. 19. Why do most women pay more attention to their appearance than improving their mind ? Because most men are stupid and few are blind. 20. Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning? They don't have balls to scratch. Chris
  17. Love it Den!!! - best so far Chris
  18. Have to agree with Alan on this - having once been a Civil Servant there's nothing that gets a quicker response than an MP's letter landing on your desk..... Chris
  19. The Washington Post's Style Invitational asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are some recent winners: Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the reader who doesn't get it. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very high. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of obtaining sex. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these, really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like a serious bummer. Glibido: All talk and no action. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a refund from the Taxation Office, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with. And best of all.... Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid AND an ****. Chris
  20. All those coming should have had an e-mail from me today - let me know if you didn't..... Chris
  21. I got this book today for me birthday. Jaq picked it up for less than a fiver second-hand and it's an absolute gem of a book - a veritable treasure trove of angling writing down the ages.... I loved this piece of advice from Sheringham to the Edwardian Carp Angler... "You cannot, of course, fish for big carp in half a day. It takes a month. So subtle are these fishes that you have to proceed with the utmost precautions. In the first week, having made ready your tackle and plumbed the depth, you build yourself a wattled screen, behind which you may take cover. By the second week the fish should have grown accustomed to this, and you begin to throw in ground-bait composed of bread, bran, biscuits, peas, beans, strawberries, rice, pearl barley, aniseed cake, worms, gentles, banana and potato. This ground-baiting must not be overdone. Half a pint on alternate evenings is as much as can be employed in this second week. With the third week less caution is necessary, because by now the carp will be less mindful of the adage concerning those who come bearing gifts. You may bear gifts daily, and the carp will, it is to be hoped, in a manner of speaking, look these gifts in the mouth - as a carp should. Now in the fourth week comes the critical time. All is very soon to be put to the touch. On Monday you lean your rod (it is ready put up, you remember) on the wattled fence so that its top projects eighteen inches over the water. On Tuesday you creep up and push it gently, so that the eighteen inches are become four feet. The carp, we hope, simply think that it is a piece of the screen growing well, and take no alarm. On Wednesday, Thursday and Friday you employ the final and great ruse. This is to place your line (the depth has already been plumbed, of course) gently in the water, the bullet just touching the bottom so that the float cocks, and the two feet of gut which lie on the bottom beyond it terminating with a bait in which is no fraudful hook. This is so that the carp may imagine that it is just such a whim of the lavish person behind the screen (be sure they know you are there all the time) to tie food to some fibrous yet innocuous substance. And at last, on Saturday, the thirty-first day of the month, you fall to angling, while the morning mists are still disputing the shades of night. Now there is a hook within the honey paste, and woe betide any carp which loses his head. But no carp does lose its head until the shades of night are disputing with the mists of evening. Then, from your post of observation (fifty yards behind the screen, you hear a click, click, which tells you that your reels revolve. A carp has made off with the bait, drawn out the five yards of line coiled carefully on the ground and may now be struck. So you hasten up and strike. There is a monstrous pull at the rod-point, something persues a headlong course into unknown depths, and after a few thrilling seconds there is a jar, a slackness of line, and you wind up sorrowfully. You are broken, and so home." H. T. Sheringham (1/7/1911 from an article in The Field) Chris
  22. Well the hint worked - got this for my birthday to day - I can now Bore for England Did you know there are 48 hair's breadths to the inch?..... Chris
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