Chris Plumb

We've got a cold snap forecast for the weekend. Chilly air arriving from Siberia - I'm actaully quite looking forward to it! - make a change from all the wind and rain over the past 6 weeks!!! Chris

I've been with the IAC for nearly 5 years - interestingly the 'core' membership has hardly changed in that time - fished with some great guys and on some great waters as a result. Apart from here would also rate BFW very highly - again made some great contacts through that site... Chris

And who say's the Americans' have no sense of irony??? Chris

Please tell me this is a spoof - Isn't it??? Chris

This sorry episode is featured in the current edition of Private Eye. Well done PE! Chris

I agree completely - I all but abandon still waters after October - life's too short! I actually look forward to winter river fishing... Chris

The wisdom of David Brent... It's the team that matters. Where would The Beatles be without Ringo. If John got Yoko to play drums the history of music would be completely different. What does a squirrel do in the summer? It buries nuts. Why? Cos then in winter time he's got something to eat and he won't die. So, collecting nuts in the summer is worthwhile work. Every task you do at work think,would a squirrel do that? Think squirrels. Think nuts. A successful team is paramount, our office team mirrors the success of Arsenal football team, but with less foreigners. When confronted by a difficult problem, you can solve it more easily by reducing it to the question, "How would the Lone Ranger handle this?" Show me a good loser and I'll show you a LOSER! If you can keep your head when all around you have lost theirs, then you probably haven't understood the seriousness of the situation. You don't have to be mad to work here, in fact we ask you to complete a medical questionnaire to ensure that you are not. If you treat the people around you with love and respect, they will never guess that you're trying to get them sacked. If at first you don't succeed, remove all evidence you ever tried. You have to be 100% behind someone, before you can stab them in the back. If work was so good, the rich would have kept more of it for themselves. Those of you who think you know everything are annoying to those of us who do. If your boss is getting you down, look at him through the prongs of a fork and imagine him in jail. There's no 'I' in 'team'. But then there's no 'I' in 'useless smug colleague', either. And there's four in 'platitude-quoting idiot'. There may be no 'I' in team, but there's a 'ME' if you look hard enough. Process and Procedure are the last hiding place of people without the wit and wisdom to do their job properly. Accept that some days you are the pigeon, and some days you are the statue Know your limitations and be content with them. Too much ambition results in promotion to a job you can't do. Make good use of your cylindrical filing unit, the one you mainly keep under your desk. Remember that age and treachery will always triumph over youth and ability. Never do today that which will become someone else's responsibility tomorrow. Quitters never win, winners never quit. But those who never win and never quit are idiots. If you're gonna be late, then be late and not just by 2 minutes - make it an hour and enjoy your breakfast. Remember the 3 golden rules: 1. It was like that when I got here. 2. I didn't do it. 3. (To your Boss) I like your style. The office is like an army, and I'm the field general. You're my footsoldiers and customer quality is the WAR !!! Set out to leave the first vapour trail in the blue-sky scenario. Statistics are like a lamp-post to a drunken man - more for leaning on than illumination. A problem shared is a problem halved, so is your problem really yours or just half of someone else's? Is your work done? Are all pigs fed, watered and ready to fly?.... You don't have to be mad to work here, but you do have to be on time, well presented, a team player, customer service focused and sober!! I thought I could see the light at the end of the tunnel, but it was just some b*stard with a torch, bringing me more work. Avoid employing unlucky people - throw half of the pile of CVs in the bin without reading them. Put the key of despair into the lock of apathy. Turn the knob of mediocrity slowly and open the gates of despondency - welcome to a day in the average office. Chris

A quick search on Google found this... The Carping Game Chris

Well done Peter - I usually agree with most things you post on here so you'll definitely 'do' for me!!! Chris

250 quid - you gotta be kidding! I've got a pair of the original Vids. If I can get THAT for them think I'll flog 'em and buy another set from Hugh. Chris

Aaaargh - I despair!!! Chris

These the ones? Chris

Hugh Miles has an Advert in the current edition of Waterlog. All 6 of the 50 minute BBC films are available for £27 including postage & packing. An ideal Christmas prezzie!! (And worth EVERY penny!) Cheques payable to Hugh Miles, Chilbrook Croft, Wimbourne Rd, Corfe Mullen, Wimbourne, Dorset, BH21 3EA. Chris

My personal choice would be a Harrison. See here I've got one of their 15' Float Rods - fantastic bit of gear. Expect to pay between £130 - £150. Chris

Something to do with knocking the air out of the dough... See Here Chris

quote: Originally posted by Alan Taylor: [QBNice one Chris, do you make these up yourself? Alan(nl)[/QB] Nah - I'm not THAT talented!!! This is an old 'Rugby' song.... Chris

Surely this is the reason.... The dogs they held a meeting, And they came from near and far, Some they came by aeroplane And some by motor car. Outside the village hall they all did stop and look, And each one took his @sshole off And hung it on a hook. In they went all in a pack Every mother, son and sire, Hardly were they seated When someone shouted fire. Out they came all in a rush They had no time to look, And each one grabbed an @sshole Off any old hook. They got their @ssholes all mixed up Which made them very sore, To think they hadn't got the one That they had had before, And that's the reason why A dog will always leave a bone, To go and smell another dogs @ss, To try and find his own. Chris

I'd love to catch a Char. Beautiful fish which in habit some beautiful lakes... Chris

Cheque is in the post Steve (Sorry cf-t!!) We've been having an identical debate on the IAC list and this book cropped up a couple of times in people's recommendations - so I'm rather looking forward to getting it - probably mean I'll end up having 3 books on the go at once! Chris

Yup - think we've got nearly all of last year's anglers returning plus half a dozen new faces. I'll have to try and make this an annual event - & try and find a different chalk stream to fish each year as well(already got a couple of ideas lined up for next year ) Still no word from Elton Chris

Déja vu Chris

Yup - off the bottom for me too - saves have to THINK "Which way do I wind?" when I get a bite!!! Chris

I think they'll always try to wriggle away from any light source - perfering the sanctuary of any dark crevice -as anyone who ever kicked their maggots over on the bank will testify! Chris

On my bedside table I've currently got Rod & Line by Arthur Ransome & The Deepening Pool by Chris Yates. Both classics and great reads... Chris

Fishers Green Chris