FearTheHands

quote: Fireworks are not danagerous at all if used responsibly. No, but they are 'dangerous'

He was a true legend & will be sorely missed quote: In an interview with the BBC looking back on his career, Barker said: "I would like to be remembered as one of the funniest men people have seen on TV As far as I'm concerned, he's got his wish many times over ... Rest well Ronnie

I primarily go fishing to catch for the table. If I have caught enough recently then I return whatever I don't have a need for. I also stock up on mackerel through the summer for frozen bait during the winter. ANYTHING undersized goes straight back as quickly as possible. Once I have enough for my needs (not many) I then fish for pleasure. Not that many go back as I don't catch that much!

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http://college.big-boys.com/articles/dogmouth.html

Darwin awards 2005 Yes, it's that magical time of the year again when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honouring the least evolved among us. Here then, are the glorious winners. Darwin Award Winners 1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked And now, the honourable mentions 2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved. 3. A man who shovelled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his Vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her. 4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyonewaiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days 5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit. 6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer...$15. (If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed? 7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab somebooze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape. 8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, Yesofficer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from. 9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man frustrated, walked away A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER! 10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had

http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_15442...uirkies.unlucky

This is what happens when 2 people both from Somerset mate:

I also never actually met Alan in person, but his generosity & kindness touched me. One of life's true gentlemen, we can all learn a lot from people like Alan. My best regards & deepest sympathy go out to the family he has left behind, it must be a huge loss. [ 13. September 2005, 10:31 AM: Message edited by: FearTheHands ]

Exactly the same questions I asked the 1st time I got hold of Mackerel feathers having had no fishing experience at all before & found very similar unnecessary sarcasm from so called 'experts' Mackerel feathers are ready made to use. Most have a loop on either end. Look at the way they've been tied & you will see which direction they should be attached to your mainline (the feather pointing down) Simply attach the feathers to your main line, then add a suitable lead weight to the other loop. I never use anything heavier than a 4oz lead personally, but this is down to personal choice. Feathers are lures, so after casting them out use the 'sink & draw' method to retrieve them. This is done by pulling the rod round to 45 or so degrees swiftly, then reeling in the slack line you just made by slowly moving the rod back to 12 O'clock & repeating. For best results for mackerel feathering try fishing clear water in sunny conditions just as light is starting to fade or to rise. You are less likely to catch in murky water on a dull day Are you sing a shockleader ? If not it would be very worthwhile you knowing how to tie one & why it's used. See this thread: http://www.anglersnet.co.uk/ubb/ultimatebb...t=005366#000020 Good luck & let us know how you get on!

Drove my chevvy to the levee ... [ 09. September 2005, 12:01 PM: Message edited by: FearTheHands ]

Video files cannot be embedded Try this: http://www.go-fishing.org/upload/files/Rob...obertdeNero.WMV

I assume it's these: cgi.ebay.co.uk/crab-lobster-trap-to...1QQcmdZViewItem

Mine: Burnt Bottom Piddlehinton Dungy Head Shaggs Lickham Bottom Handcock's Bottom

http://www.boreme.com/boremerigid/funny-20...rassment-p1.php

I've only attempted this once with particuarly poor results What favourite mehtods do you have for cooking LSD? More to the point how do you skin one ??? Recipes please chaps

Pffft! 1st rod ? At age 3 I dove into the local canal & resurfaced with a zander clenched between my teeth Try & tell that to the youth today & they won't believe you ...

Have been out of Weymouth before on 'One For The Nob' (Hi Richard) & couldn't have had a better trip - I'd recommend this boat very highly. I've also heard nothing but good reports about Pat/Carra Carra & having had met him (he put me straight on filleting a Ling) I have to say he seems an agreeable chap I haven't given up on West Bay (especially as it's on my doorstep) There are plenty of other charters going out from there, they can't all be bad

Yes, spasor, Fred Basset does pong quite a bit! Thankfully he spent most of the time in the cabin until we got out our sarnies... big_cod - I don't buy TSF each month - care to elaborate ?

http://www.boreme.com/boreme/funny-2005/ce...eleb-gay-p1.php

http://www.milbestlight.com/swf/game/game1.swf

pumphypete - this will not work if the recipients (ebay) mail server is set to only accept plain text email & remove attachments (which it obviously is) Try uploading it to a webserver & including the URL in the email Don't give up as these type of corporations rely on us normal 'oiks' not bothering. 95% of things I have stuck out & followed through have had had a successful conclusion Power to the people!! as Foxy used to say ....

Well, sad to say not a very good report at all. Skipper & his female sidekick were one of the most unhelpful people I've had the misfortune to encounter. All but myself were boat fishing virgin's & no instruction was given to the novices, it was left to me to show them the ropes (& I'm no expert). The thing that p*ssed all of us off (other four being city dwellers) was the blatant disregard for the sea & fish both in charge of the boat clearly showed. In particular the amount of litter they threw into the sea was utterly disgusting. Empty pop cans, tape, shopping bag, fishing line etc it was constant & entirely not needed. "Why not say something ?" I hear you ask - difficult when you are trying to show your mates a good time & you're 3 miles out at sea with 5 hours left to go. The fish were very few & far between - we were meant to be targeting Black Bream - the only person to catch any of these was the skippers sidekick, she managed to land 5, where the rest of us didn't manage any. I asked what she was doing different to us, what bait etc only to be met by no response at all. It was left down to me to tell all my non fishing mates that they should check they still have bait on the end of their lines every so often etc etc Although it didn't ruin the day, it most certainly didn't enhance it. We managed to land (ourselves) pollack, mackerel, whiting, pouting, doggies & a little bit of coral (dead mans fingers ??) I would recommend that anyone considering the 'Dutchess II' went elsewhere & I feel sorry for the sea each time they go out as I now know where most of the litter on my beach comes from, not the tourists, from ignorant & obnoxious charter boat skippers I know at least one other AN regular who has had very similar experiences to mine, hopefully he will also post & tell his experiences as well ... [ 18. August 2005, 12:56 AM: Message edited by: FearTheHands ]