P.M.S.L
Liverpool's new signing, Rigobert Song from Cameroon, has just played his first game for the (once) 'Mighty Reds'. He dashes into the players lounge and phones his mother to tell her all about it. "Oh, Rigobert"...she squeals....."....I am so pleased and proud of you, at last you are playing for a great team......they may not be as great as they once were, but I hear they have won the European Cup four times. ....but, son.....things are not so good at home. I am really worried. The violence is getting too much, your sister has been raped twice, your dear Grandmother has been attacked in the street, there is raw sewage running down the roads, its becoming more like a war-zone every day.
How we let you talk us into coming and living in Liverpool, I'll never know...."
Or like the bloke visiting the docks who sees a docker writhing in pain on the floor. He asks what's wrong with him. Another docker says "He wants to go the toilet". "So why doesn't he go" asks the stranger. "What? On his lunch break?" comes the reply.