Bobj

A couple of photos from the Cape Hillsborough National Park....A very mediochre day, freezing cold, well.....er 24 deg C Cape Hillsborough. Islands on the right are the southern end of the Whitsundays. A pretty-face wallaby on the beach.

G'day mate, the camera has "optical image stabilizer" But I understand what you are on about...The beauty of these digital cameras is, if the pic is no good, you can always delete it. An interesting thing, the camera will take pix up to 66x zoom in a certain mode......Brilliant

Here you go, mate. http://www.thefrugallife.com/ants.html

My first effort with the 12x of the Panasonic FZ7 A rainbow lorikeet.

These are things lawyers and witnesses actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place. __________________________________ Q: Are you sexually active? A: No, I just lie there. __________________________________ Q: What is your date of birth? A: July 15 Q: What year? A: Every year. ______________________________________ Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. ______________________________________ Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? A: Yes. Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory? A: I forget. Q: You forget? Can you give us an example of something that you have forgotten? _____________________________________ Q: How old is your son, the one living with you? A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which. Q: How long has he lived with you? A: Forty-five years. _____________________________________ Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning? A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?" Q: And why did that upset you? A: My name is Susan. ______________________________________ Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or the occult? A: We both do. Q: Voodoo? A: We do. Q: You do? A: Yes, voodoo. ______________________________________ Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning? A: Did you actually pass the bar exam? ___________________________________ Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he? _____________________________________ Q: Were you present when your picture was taken? ______________________________________ Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8? A: Yes. Q: And what were you doing at that time? ______________________________________ Q: She had three children, right? A: Yes. Q: How many were boys? A: None Q: Were there any girls? ______________________________________ Q: How was your first marriage terminated? A: By death. Q: And by whose death was it terminated? _____________________________________ Q: Can you describe the individual? A: He was about medium height and had a beard. Q: Was this a male, or a female? ______________________________________ Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. ______________________________________ Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people? A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. ______________________________________ Q: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to? A: Oral. ______________________________________ Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m. Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time? A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy. _____________________________________ Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample? ______________________________________ Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? A: No. Q: Did you check for blood pressure? A: No. Q: Did you check for breathing? A: No. Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? A: No. Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor? A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.

A man walked into the ladies department of Myers and shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, "I'd like to buy a bra for my wife." "What type of bra?" asked the salesgirl. "Type?" inquires the man. "There's more than one type?" "Look around," said the salesgirl, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, colour and material imaginable. "Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only four types of bras to choose from." Relieved, the man asked about the types. The salesgirl replied: "There are the Catholic, the Salvation Army, the Presbyterian, and the Baptist types. Which one would you prefer?" Now totally befuddled, the man asked about the differences between them. The salesgirl responded, "It is all really quite simple... The Catholic type supports the masses. The Salvation Army type lifts the fallen. The Presbyterian type keeps them staunch and upright. The Baptist makes mountains out of mole hills.

Well, tuesday being our day in the city, I had to go and buy this: http://www.dpreview.com/reviews/panasonicfz7/ Still trying to decipher the first two pages of instructions...... What a little gem of a camera. My other one is an Olympus 3 mp, 3x zoom.

G'day Newt, the cra....carp in Australia are mainly in the Murray/Darling catchment ( 408,000 sq miles) from Victoria to southern Qld. While there are sections that are relatively free of crap, there are, also, some places where there is significant damage, generally the slower flowing streams. They have a propensity to "sludge" about in undercut banks, which, in turn, erode further, causing sedimintation. And, for the slower moving waterways, this causes plant life to die. Mister crap has a very bad reputation on SE Australia and it is illegal in some states to return them to the water after capture. Unfortunately, Australia's wildlife, animal, and vegetable, grew up and flourished in a completely unique atmosphere, until the arrival of the white man.....

I'll promise to type slower next time, mate. South Australians are known to be slow readers. ;)

Never heard of anyone eating tench, or roach in Australia, a few have eaten cra....er carp and quite a few eat redfin. There has been a great deal of gum bashing regards eradicating cra....er carp but not much discussion re the tench, or the roach. But not much has actually been done, except the odd fishing club and their carp busting annual comps. As 85% of Australians live near the sea, there is NO comparison between saltwater fish and freshies. G'day to Downunderer. Mate, living in South Aus, you should be a little miffed at the small number of fresh water fisheries....The Torrens and a few feeder streams in the Adelaide Hills seem to be the extent of it.

BRAIN CRAMPS ( On September 17, 1994, Alabama's Heather Whitestone was selected as Miss America 1995.) Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever," --Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest. `````````````````````````````````` "Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff." --Mariah Carey ```````````` "Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life," --Brooke Shields, during an interview to become Spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign. ````````````````````````````````````````````````` "I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body," --Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward. ````````````````````````````````````````````` "Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country," --Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC. ````````````````````````````` "I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president." --Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents. (No, she wasn't hiding anything.) ```````````````````````````````````````````````````` "That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it," --A congressional candidate in Texas. ```````````````````````````` "Half this game is ninety percent mental." --Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark `````````````````````````````````` "It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it." --Al Gore, Vice President ``````````````````` "I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix --Dan Quayle `````````` "We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?" --Lee Iacocca ``````````` "The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." - --Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst. ```````````````````````````````````````````` "We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people --Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instrutor. ````````````````````````````````` "If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure." --Bill Clinton, President (Ex) `````````````````` "We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur." --Al Gore, ```````````````` "Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas." --Keppel Enderbery ```````````````` "Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances." --Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina ```````````````````````````````````````````` "If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record." --Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman

Tech support: What kind of computer do you have? >> Female customer: A white one... >> =============== >> Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out. >> Tech support: Have you tried pushing the button? >> Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck. >> Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note. >> Customer: No .. wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry.... >> =============== >> Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen. >> Customer: Your left or my left? >> =============== >> Tech support: Good day. How may I help you? >> Male customer: Hello... I can't print. >> Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and... >> Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates! >> =============== >> Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I >> try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted >> the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it... >> =============== >> Customer: I have problems printing in red... >> Tech support: Do you have a color printer? >> Customer: Aaaah....................thank you. >> =============== >> Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am? >> Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11. >> =============== >> Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore. >> Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer? >> Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer. >> Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back. >> Customer: OK >> Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you? >> Customer: Yes >> Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard? >> Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work... >> =============== >> Tech support: Your password is the small letter a as >> in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7. >> Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters? >> =============== >> Customer: I can't get on the Internet. >> Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password? >> Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it. >> Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was? >> Customer: Five stars. >> ============== >> Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use? >> Customer: Netscape. >> Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program. >> Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer. >> =============== >> Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has >>placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears. >> =============== >> Tech support: How may I help you? >> Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail. >> Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem? >> Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the >> address, but how do I get the circle around it? >> =============== >> A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a >> problem with her printer. >> Tech support: Are you running it under windows? >> Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The >> man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine." >> =============== >> And last but not least... >> Tech support: "Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the >> same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to >> bring up the Program >> Manager." >> Customer: I don't have a P. >> Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob. >> Customer: What do you mean? >> Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Bob. >> Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT

The train was quite crowded, so a U. S. Marine walked the entire length looking for a seat, but the only seat left was taken by a well dressed, middle-aged, French woman's poodle. The war-weary Marine asked, "Ma'am, may I have that seat?" The French woman just sniffed and said to no one in particular, "Americans are so rude. My little Fifi is using that seat." The Marine walked the entire train again, but the only seat left was under that dog. "Please, ma'am. May I sit down? I'm very tired." She snorted, "Not only are you Americans rude, you are also arrogant!" This time the Marine didn't say a word; he just picked up the little dog, tossed it out the train window, and sat down. The woman shrieked, "Someone must defend my honour! Put this American in his place!" An English gentleman sitting nearby spoke up, "Sir, you Americans seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You hold the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your vehicles on the wrong side of the road. And now, sir, you seem to have thrown the wrong bitch out the window."

A nice sunrise over Cape Hillsborough, Qld.

The larger American Robin, Turdus migratorius, is named for its similarity to the European Robin, not because they are closely related. The similarity lies largely in the orange chest patch in both species, which has led to the common nickname "robin redbreast" It appears that the thrush family (blackbird, ouzel, fieldfare, redwing, chats etc) is closer to the American Robin; the european redbreast (erithacus rubecula) is a distant member of the turdidae family.

Doesn't smell like gorse, mate......

Went to the local Anzac dawn service and snapped this:

http://www.bom.gov.au/products/IDD65011.shtml Category 5, with central wind gusts to 350 km/hour. It is supposed to stay in the Darwin area for about 24 hours..... My son is stationed there with the army and, I suppose, will have to help the residents in the clean-up. The Darwin council made it mandatory for all new houses to be cyclone proof.......Hope so.

Great as humour, bad as adverts... 2 female Boston Terrier puppies, 7 wks old, Perfect markings, 555-1234. Leave mess. Lost: small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family. A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms. Dinner Special -- Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00. For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers. Four-poster bed, 101 years old. Perfect for antique lover. Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too. Wanted: 50 girls for stripping machine operators in factory. We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand. For Sale. Three canaries of undermined sex. For Sale -- Eight puppies from a German Sheppard and an Alaskan Hussy. Great Dames for sale. Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition. Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it. Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children. Vacation Special: have your home exterminated. Mt. Kilimanjaro, the breathtaking backdrop for the Serena Lodge. Swim in the lovely pool while you drink it all in.