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Blame Newt


Elton

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I'm starting an official "Blame Newt" thread. Please use this thread to blame Newt for all your personal problems, and those of the world in general.

 

Having just spent their last cash on fixing their car recently, my friend's boiler just packed up. They called in a plumber and were told they needed a new circuit board. This was ordered, fitted and then they were told that the other circuit board needed replacing, too. I think they're sorted now - the plumber's van was there again yesterday.

 

That's a week with no hot water or heating and Lord knows how many chargeable visits from a plumber, plus parts, not just after having their car fixed, but at the time of year when they would have rather have spent the money on giving their children a good Christmas.

 

I blame Newt.

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Others are urged to read This before you attempt it.

 

Proper blaming needs to be done correctly and with the usual safety precautions.

" My choices in life were either to be a piano player in a whore house or a politician. And to tell the truth, there's hardly any difference!" - Harry Truman, 33rd US President

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Newt may very well be to blame for many - even most - things that bedevil the world, but wouldn't you feel embittered if Ken Livingstone had purloined your entire stock of Jack Daniels?

 

"London Mayor Ken Livingstone defended his liking for whisky saying 'I have kept newts for years, why is everyone surprised?'"

 

http://newsbiscuit.com/board/18/08/3//Ken-...ike-a-newt.html

 

:o

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It's strange how a circuit board seems to work for ever and a day when it's sitting in a TV set or a computer and yet when you put them in something maintained by blokes with white vans, monkey wrenches and wooden handled screwdrivers they fail at the drop of a hat.

Conning

Overpriced

Ripoff

Grabbing

Incompetents

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The other weekend, I went fishing on the fabulous Hampshire Avon at Breamore. It was beautiful, with deep hoarfrost making the landscape magical and Christmassy, and I had a fine day fishing despite catching nothing at all. The ground was frozen stiff, and the sun was bright in the cloudless winterblue sky; it was the deepest frost of the year- all of which put the fish into sulky disinterest. The atmosphere was completely still, without the least breeze all day, and I wandered along the river in silent contemplation of the loveliness of that wintry waterside. The air was frigid and dryly brittle, the river mist mournfully swirled and danced in the low rays of eye-watering sunlight, and my breath made steamy clouds in reply. As I paused to angle along the bank I found a deep peace there. Every structure was fluffed with white rime, and a trillion sparkles flashed. Walking back in the fast-falling twilight the frost was already crusting over the mud where it had softened in patches of sun, and my feet crunched and popped through the ice-lidded puddles pocked by hooves. The cold quiet of the river was inside my head. It was good. But the mud from my waders made a mess in the boot of my car, and it took me ages to clean it. I blame Newt.

Edited by MikeT

What's interesting is that, though anglers are rarely surprised by a totally grim day, we nearly always maintain our optimism. We understand pessimism because our dreams are sometimes dented by the blows of fate, but always our hope returns, like a primrose after a hard winter. ~ C. Yates.

 

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i'm on Newts side if he can live in america and still have a sense of humour he's OK ,the beard helps though :D

i blame Newt for sending thought manipulating waves via the ether forcing me to write this!!!

i also blame Newt for not inventing a time machine and going back in time to 1770 boston and saying "hold on these brits are ok no violence needed young man"

Edited by chesters1

Believe NOTHING anyones says or writes unless you witness it yourself and even then your eyes can deceive you

None of this "the enemy of my enemy is my friend" crap it just means i have at least two enemies!

 

There is only one opinion i listen to ,its mine and its ALWAYS right even when its wrong

 

Its far easier to curse the darkness than light one candle

 

Mathew 4:19

Grangers law : anything i say will  turn out the opposite or not happen at all!

Life insurance? you wont enjoy a penny!

"To compel a man to furnish contributions of money for the propagation of opinions which he disbelieves and abhors, is sinful and tyrannical." Thomas Jefferson

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Hiya, A few mins ago, I came in from work, to throw all my work boots/clothes in the cupboard under the stairs....and to start my 18 days Xmas hols!!!!

 

So, for the next 17 sleeps, I will have long lie ins, and lazy days on the PC...:):)

 

 

 

I blame NEWT !!!!!

 

BTW, Thanks Newt!!!

In sleep every dog dreams of food,and I, a fisherman,dream of fish..

Theocritis..

For Fantastic rods,and rebuilds. http://www.alba-rods.co.uk/

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I'm starting an official "Blame Newt" thread. Please use this thread to blame Newt for all your personal problems, and those of the world in general.

Gee, Elton, don't get me started :bigemo_harabe_net-191: How much bandwidth do you have for the forum?

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I was just wondering whether or not we can blame Newt in ADVANCE.

 

I have a number of tasks coming up at work, & if things go wrong & I have to take the blame on the flimsiest of reasons, ie I organised & run the jobs, it's going to take the shine off Christmas.

 

But if I can blame Newt in advance of any work problems, the pressures off no matter what happens, & I can then enjoy Christmas :)

 

Seems reasonable.

Peter.

 

The loose lines gone..STRIKE.

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