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spangles

By spangles
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spangles Member

spangles

Posted
Posted

The other day I was cruising along as usual in my AUDI coming onto

one of my motorways, which was very busy with inferior cars.

 

First off, I couldn't believe that the volume of traffic DIDN'T slow

down for me AT ALL as I came off the slip road! I had to squeeze into a

barely big enough gap between two cars in order to get onto my

motorway!

(The driver of the car behind me did realise his mistake though and

honked an apology to me with a long blast of his horn.)

 

Unbelievably, I had to do the same again before I could get to the

AUDI lane. (Why do underlings use this lane? Surely everyone knows it is for AUDI drivers only?)

 

Anyway, once I was in the AUDI lane and posing along at 110mph

enjoying the adulation that the inferior car drivers were giving me, I

noticed an inferior car ahead of me which was not only in the AUDI lane

of my motorway, but was driving at a ridiculous 70 mph!

 

Naturally, I got to within a foot or so of his rear bumper and

flashed my headlights to remind him he shouldn't be in the AUDI lane of

my motorway and to get out of my way.

 

Of course, once he realised it was a AUDI behind him, he did just

that, but I could hardly believe it when he pulled straight back out

behind

me! He also tried to keep up with me and when he realised I would

out-run him, he put on some blue lights in his front grill and urged me to get

onto the hard shoulder so that he could congratulate me on my excellent car.

 

Needless to say, I was eager to oblige and when we had stopped, the

man gave me a piece of paper confirming what I already knew - that my car goes fast!

 

Apparently he wants everyone to know what a superior car I have, so

I had to take my driver's licence to a Police Station to be sent away

To have some points put on! (They're not free points either - they're £20 each and I was only allowed 3.) But the man at the Police Station said that because I drive a AUDI it won't be much longer before I earn the full 12 points, and then I won't even NEED a driving licence, so they will take It off me!

 

 

Now THAT's the sort of respect you get when you buy and drive a AUDI., Dave

Life is rather like a tin of sardines - we're all of us looking for the key.

 

 

 

 

 

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Chris Goddard Member

Chris Goddard

Posted
Posted

Take my word for it it's not JUST Audi drivers!! Bloody Volvo drivers can be ex. Audi drivers too!! And don't even get me started on White (Sign written) Van man!! What's wrong with these knob heads?? They treat you like you don't exist, or worse!! But at least When you ring there gaffer most are pretty sympathetic!! And I've not seen the same dork driving any van twice!!

 

Chris

Chris Goddard


It is to be observed that 'angling' is the name given to fishing by people who can't fish.

If GOD had NOT meant us to go fishing, WHY did he give us arms then??

(If you can't help out someone in need then don't bother my old Dad always said! My grandma put it a LITTLE more, well different! It's like peeing yourself in a black pair of pants she said! It gives you a LOVELY warm feeling but no-one really notices!))

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Bluey Member

Bluey

Posted
Posted

Come across one of your fellow Audi mates on saturday, spangles.

 

This owner was travelling a lot less faster than you were though!!! :mad:

 

I was taking my daughter to stay at her friends in Norwich over the week, just outside Barton Mills about 4-5 miles from the Mildenhall roundabout we ground to a halt, and for the next few hours we inched forward slowly, very, very, slowly.

 

And the cause of the hold up well it was an AUDI A4 estate LEFT!!! yes LEFT in the outside lane for everyone to admire as they slowly crawled past it.

 

Some prat had had a problem with it and instead of getting this heap of useless bavarian crap off the carriageway onto the side of the road they just stuck the hazard lights on locked it up and cleared off leaving thousands of WELL IMPRESSED AND STRESSED DRIVERS TO ADMIRE IT AS THEY PASSED. :mad: :mad:

 

Result 10 mile tailbacks, hot frustrated drivers and equally hot motor cars. OH and where were the fuzz?? scoffing doughnuts and swigging tea no doubt!!

If the hat's missing

I've gone fishing

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spangles Member

spangles

Posted
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Posted

Hey Bluey, I dont really own an Audi, my post was just a joke, and "Audi" could be substituted for any other make of car, its up to you, sorry you had such a stressful time with that prat of a driver, nay Audi owner. Dave

Life is rather like a tin of sardines - we're all of us looking for the key.

 

 

 

 

 

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Newt Member

Newt

Posted
Posted

Saab? I think it is the auto of choice for people who are ready to graduate from Audi.

 

[ 01. June 2004, 07:53 PM: Message edited by: Newt ]

" My choices in life were either to be a piano player in a whore house or a politician. And to tell the truth, there's hardly any difference!" - Harry Truman, 33rd US President

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