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Tyke

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A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is

a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He has

been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the

nerve to talk with her.

Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying

out of its socket towards the man.

 

He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air,

and hands it back.

 

"Oh my, I am so sorry," the woman says as she pops

her eye back in place. "Let me buy your dinner to

make it up to you, " she says.

 

They enjoy a wonderful dinner together, and

afterwards they go to the theater followed by drinks.

They talk, they laugh, she shares her deepest dreams

and he shares his. She listens.

 

After paying for everything, she asks him if he would

like to come to her place for a nightcap and stay for

breakfast. They had a wonderful, wonderful time.

 

The next morning, she cooks a gourmet meal with all

the trimmings. The guy is amazed!! Everything had

been SO incredible! !! !

 

"You know, " he said, "you are the perfect woman. Are

you this nice to every guy you meet? "

 

"No, " she replies. . . . "

 

 

Wait for it.

 

 

It's coming. .

 

 

The suspense is killing you, isn't it?

 

 

She says: "You just happened to catch my eye."

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:D:D:D

 

 

RNLI Governor

 

World species 471 : UK species 105 : English species 95 .

Certhia's world species - 215

Eclectic "husband and wife combined" world species 501

 

"Nothing matters very much, few things matter at all" - Plato

...only things like fresh bait and cold beer...

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Classic :D:D

 

Den

"When through the woods and forest glades I wanderAnd hear the birds sing sweetly in the trees;When I look down from lofty mountain grandeur,And hear the brook, and feel the breeze;and see the waves crash on the shore,Then sings my soul..................

for all you Spodders. https://youtu.be/XYxsY-FbSic

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There was a boy who lost his left eye in an accident. I think he shot it out with a BB gun. His parents were too poor to buy him a glass eye but found a doctor who could provide a wooden eye that was affordable. The wood eye looked less than realistic and the boy was very self-conscious about it and consequently didn't socialize much.

 

The big school dance was coming up and his friends asked if he planned to attend. He was despite his self-consciousness considered affable, athletic, and loyal. Therefore, it was not surprising that his young friends encouraged him to come to the party. They, too, were anxious about the possibility of embarrassing moments at the party. He said "No I don't think so. I would be too embarrassed because of my wooden eye." They finally reassured him that no one would pay attention to his eye and convinced him to go to the dance.

 

At the dance he remained off to the side afraid to confront any of the girls and ask them to dance. His friends kept encouraging him but he would say "I don't know what she would think about my wooden eye."

 

After a while his friends noticed a girl with a wonderful figure across the room who was also shyly standing off to the side.

Looking closer they noticed that she had a pretty face, wasn't unattractive, but did have a repaired hairlip.

 

They went to their friend and said "Look! There is a girl across the room with a hairlip. She is obviously just as self conscious as you are and certainly won't be offended by your wooden eye. Go ask her to dance."

 

After some apprehension he finally worked up his courage and took the long walk across the dance floor and approached the hairlipped girl.

 

He said "Would you like to dance with me?"

 

The girl excitedly replied "Would I? Would I?"*

 

The boy immediately screamed back "Hairlip! Hairlip!"

 

*Translated for the aurally impaired: Wood-eye, Wood-eye

" My choices in life were either to be a piano player in a whore house or a politician. And to tell the truth, there's hardly any difference!" - Harry Truman, 33rd US President

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