Jump to content

Please All Reply To This Thread


Guest Elton

Recommended Posts

Originally posted by Bretty:

Hey it's me!!

 

I ain't been in ere 4 ages.

 

Whats happening dudes?

 

Bretty

 

Your brother's been say all sorts about you. Reckons you couldn't fight your way out of a wet paper bag, or something wink.gif

 

Elton

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest Mark Cunnington

Noc originally posted

 

Mark, wasn't that song "Jilted John" ? If it was I thought it was Jasper Carrot who did it. Please correct me if I'm wrong as I'm an old saddo as well but my memory isn't that good. (LOL).

 

Nah! You're thinking of Funky (me Mam won't let me fix it in the kitchen, I've got to mend it in the garden) Moped!

 

Elton posted

 

I've been going out with a girl,

Her name is Julie,

But last night she said to me

When were watching telly

 

(This is what she said)

 

She said "Listen John I Love You,

"The bestest bloke I fancy,

"I don't want to two-time you,

"So it's the end for you and me"

 

"Who's this bloke?" I asked her,

"Gorrrrrdon," she replied.

"Not that puff," I said his name,

"Yes, but he's no puff," she cried.

 

("He's more of a man than you'll ever be.")

 

Here we go, 2, 3, 4....

 

I was so upset that I cried all the way to the chip shop,

When I came out there was Gordon standing at the bus stop.

 

And guess who was with him?

Yeah, Julie.

And they were both laughing at me.

 

Oh, she is cruel and heartless,

To pack me for Gordon,

Just 'cos he's better looking than me,

Just 'cos he's cool and trendy.

 

But I know he's a moron,

Gordon is a moron,

Gordon is a moron,

Gordon is a moron.

 

Here we go, 2, 3,4....

 

Oh, she's a slag,

And he's a creep.

She is a tart,

He's very cheap.

She is a slut,

He thinks he's tough,

She is a bitch,

He is a puff.

 

Yeah, yeah, it's not fair.

Yeah, yeah, it's not fair.

 

I'm so upset.

I'm so upset.

I'm so upset.

Yeah, yeah.

 

I ought to smash his face in.

Yeah, but he's bigger than me, innee?

 

I know,

I'll get my mate Barry to hit him.

He'd flatten him.

Yeah, but Barry's a mate of Gordons, innee?

 

Oh, well I don't care.

 

I don't care, I don't care, 'cos she's a slag and he's a creep, she is a tart, he's very cheap.

<fade>

 

 

No, Mark, never heard of it

 

You can get ten bonus points if you know all the words to the B side, "Going Steady".

 

Phwor! Impressive!! The lad ought to be on Never Mind the Buzzcocks. The funny thing is Elton's only 19 so how did he ever remember?

The 'B' side? Not a clue I'm afraid.

19. The average age of a fishing site webmaster was 19. N-n-n-n-19.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

We and our partners use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences, repeat visits and to show you personalised advertisements. By clicking “I Agree”, you consent to the use of ALL the cookies. However, you may visit Cookie Settings to provide a controlled consent.