X-BOX 360

[Pangolin]

I've had some wise advice on this forum before, and I wonder if anyone has experience of this one.

My fourteen year-old stepson has had the X-BOX 360 since just before Christmas. He plays two games, both army combat games, with an 18 certificate. They seem fairly unthreatening, in that the character runs along and shoots enemy soldiers etc. The game is with an online subscription, so that he can play his friends, who also have the same games.

What I have seen, since Christmas, is a real character change in the lad. He arrives home from school and is switching on even before he has taken his rucsack off. He won't talk while playing and he is not interested in doing anything else, because it will take him away from the game. It is tricky to get on with a step-child and this has suddenly become much more difficult. His mum and I have tried to ration the time, to two and a half hours per evening, and the result is swearing tantrums and throwing things around. We even think he has skipped afternoon school on a couple of occasions, just to come home to play. Just a couple of days ago, I set up quite a complicated system, with a hidden timer-plug but, while we were out of the house, he has traced the wiring and bypassed the timer. To punish him for this, I have confiscated the mains lead: he says he will be going round to a friend's house to play instead.

I don't want it to be all rows and punishments, so I don't know what to do next. Should I take these particular game disks away from him?

[Steve Walker]

My tuppence worth; I would be thinking that this:

 

"a real character change"

 

probably has more to do with this:

 

"fourteen year-old"

 

than this:

 

"X-BOX 360"

 

and that teenagers have been temporarily transformed by their hormones into surly, introspective, ignorant little oiks for a lot longer than games consoles have been around

 

I would guess that he'll come out the other side of it soon enough, and making the games console a point of conflict is just going to make him resentful. At least he's at home duffing up computer enemies and not out duffing up people - or getting people up the duff, for that matter!

 

On the other hand, we don't have kids, though I've seen the same changes in enough younger siblings and cousins and children of friends to recognise it.

[Zigs]

I do empathise with you Pangolin. I've got the same problem with one of mine, only difference being, shes 45 and should know better.

 

You might try a reward system instead of punishing, maybe awarding a few hours of game time if certain tasks are completed.

 

Wish i could help more, still not worked out what to do with my one though.

[jedibond]

You could partition the router so that the console only gets 10% of your broadband signal

 

He then wouldn't be able to play online which is the main draw with these games and he wouldn't be able to trace any wiring as you access the router through your pc

Edited June 24, 2010 by jedibond

[n4lly]

Ride it out.

 

Our lad has had every console going (except xbox coz its pants) PS3, Wii, Ds's + psp etc etc since he was born.

 

Little concerned at 14 that he was spending too much time on the machine's & PC.

 

However, now at 17 & just finished his A levels, i still often come home to find the PS3 off and his head in a book.

 

By the way he's currently on Red Dead, Redemption, upload some "The good, the bad and the ugly" tunes to the PS3

its awesome (and i'm only a spectator)

 

[Pangolin]

You could partition the router so that the console only gets 10% of your broadband signal

 

He then wouldn't be able to play online which is the main draw with these games and he wouldn't be able to trace any wiring as you access the router through your pc

Hmmm.... sounds good! How do I go about that? We have a BT homehub and wireless.

[Zigs]

Won't work, tried it with my one, she just found a position in the house where she could nick nextdoors wi fi.

[daddypig]

my step son was a little sod when he was fourteen mate like he was possesed he is twenty five now and a great young man bear with it he is finding his way in the and at fourteen every one is against you especialy the olds

[Pangolin]

Thanks for all of the comments. we've stuck with the two and a half hour ration and it seems to be working better now. There are fewer tantrums, although he does seem to spend a lot of time carefully calculating where in the day he will fit those two and a half hours in. What I hope is that some new game becomes the one to have and we can stop him from buying it. His friends will move on to this new game and he wont be able to. It makes me sound a bit harsh, but I'm trying to be a good stepdad.

[greg long]

Thanks for all of the comments. we've stuck with the two and a half hour ration and it seems to be working better now. There are fewer tantrums, although he does seem to spend a lot of time carefully calculating where in the day he will fit those two and a half hours in. What I hope is that some new game becomes the one to have and we can stop him from buying it. His friends will move on to this new game and he wont be able to. It makes me sound a bit harsh, but I'm trying to be a good stepdad.

 

Mines 24 now. You will find after a few months of it he will get bored and find something else to do instead... like girls..

If he is on school holidays, personally I'd let him play away to his hearts content if he has any chores to do done. On the condition that in term time he limits it to one or two hours a day except one of the week-end days (all day as a treat). He will have got bored in 12 months or less, maybe even before school starts again.