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Caught Red-Handed


Bruno Broughton

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If you had the power to do so, what penalty would you impose on someone who was caught red-handed attempting to illegally import into the UK large carp stolen from France?

 

It's purely hypothetical, of course , but would you opt for:

 

destruction of the fish & a fine?

seizure and destruction of all equipment (including vehicles)?

as above, plus seizure of passport, if legal?

Fine & jail?

Cut off their goolies?

Chop off their goolies and force feed to culprit?

Worse?

Bruno

www.bruno-broughton.co.uk

'He who laughs, lasts'

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seizure and destruction of all equipment (including vehicles)?

as above, plus seizure of passport, if legal?

Fine & jail?

Cut off their goolies?

Chop off their goolies and force feed to culprit?

Worse?

 

All of the above, but i would have the fish in quarantine for 12 months, why kill the fish its not its fault some ass hole has decided it would be better off in the UK.

 

Oh & as for the worse bit,,

 

I'd wrap a piece of diamond wire around his "bits" in a nice slip knot, run the wire up his back (making sure its in the "crack" :rolleyes: ) then i'd put a small carpet tack in the back of his head so he'll "remove" his own "bits" as he squirms in pain

 

Do you think i'd have made a good torturer in the medevil period??

 

ps if anyone knows the whereabouts of binladen (aka binliner or deadmeat) i will gladly demonstrate the method

TROGG (Alan)

a government is there to serve its people not rule them

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I'm a little behind the door on this subject, as in how do they get hold of the fish in France, and how do they move it. ? Surely the chances of the fish surviving the journey are slim. ???

 

I only ask the above as I just dont understand why people would do all of this....

 

As for the punishment...thats a tough one. Is there a law for this anyway and are these people fishermen or just anyone out for a quick quid.

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What about kidnapping them when asleep at home, putting them in a tiny box, chucking them into the back of a lorry, preferably one that rocks and shakes alot, then taking them to some faraway country, and put them in a small cage where the locals can poke them all day long with big sticks.

 

Other than that I'll go for the tack and wire....but make sure the wired is worn and fraid.

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shajw10 - you would be amazed at what sort of treatment carp can survive. Very tough fish.

 

And especially if the move were in cold weather, I'd expect them to tolerate it just fine.

 

I've seen carp caught, thrown in the back of an open pickup truck, driven for 30 minutes or so, thrown in a pond, and most survived.

 

I don't recommend that as a good idea but it will give you an idea of just how hardy these fish really are.

" My choices in life were either to be a piano player in a whore house or a politician. And to tell the truth, there's hardly any difference!" - Harry Truman, 33rd US President

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Nugg - we have a few "fish moving" rules in some places but generally none and those we have are not nearly as restrictive as the UK ones.

 

Of course, our rules would be a disaster for the UK and yours would be needlessly restrictive for the US.

 

One major difference is that no one "owns" most of the fish over here. Don't own the water or rights to fish it either except for the ponds that are totally on a person's land.

 

And the disease issue just isn't a problem. Not sure if it is the size of the water or what (Bruno??) but it is pretty much a non-issue.

 

shajw10 - you gotta remember that the majority of US anglers consider carp a trash fish and worthless except maybe for cat food or something. Carp are usually caught completely by accident and by folks fishing with light gear so the usual result is smashed gear by a fish that most people think aren't fit to eat so they are not well liked except by a few of us.

" My choices in life were either to be a piano player in a whore house or a politician. And to tell the truth, there's hardly any difference!" - Harry Truman, 33rd US President

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Newt, so what fish do you catch in the US. Sorry if thats a daft question, but never really thought about it before. Well the reason I ask is that I have just read the 'longest silence' by Thomas Mcguane, its about this guys life of fishing in the US and tells a pretty amazing tale or two.

 

(edit note - answered by email to avoid hijacking this thread more than I already did. Too serious a and valuable a topic for that - Newt)

 

[ 13. November 2002, 10:32 PM: Message edited by: Newt ]

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