Now let's ban fishing

[Peter Sharpe]

quote:

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what is it with all the anti London Rhetoric,

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Apart from the rant by cookus, which was adequately dealt with, where is all the anti London rhetoric?

[Peter Waller]

In fairness there is a degree of anti-London amongst many country folk. There are many 'Lundun' jokes doing the country pubs, most are funny, some are quite hard hitting. It isn't anti London people though, it's anti the change that incomers bring. Its a well known fact that city folk move into the country and the first thing they do is get themselves on to the parish council and push for street lights where none have ever been needed before! Due to low wages country folk have been brought up on a diet of carrots, we therefore don't need street lights.

 

A typical anti London joke is:-

 

Two little blind animals bumped into each other. One a rabbit, the other a toad. Oh! they both said, What are you? I don't know, they both said. Let me feel you, said one to the other, maybe I'll recognise you. The little animal ran its hands over the other. I know, it said, you're all soft and furry, you've got big ears!! Ohhhh, you're all cute, I know what you are, you're a bunny!!!!!!! The bunny then ran its hands over the other little animal, urghhhh, you don't feel very nice, urghhhhh, you're covered in warts and bumps, urgghhhhh, you've got a vast bady and a small head, god you've got a huge great mouth, thats the givaway! I know what you are, you're a Londoner!!

 

Ofcourse, there are numerous jokes about country folk up for the day in London. Where should we start? Seriously though, the Londoners who have moved into my road are a darn sight more friendly than the natives! Mind you, we do wind the buggers up something wicked when they first move up here. Those who have tolerated my awful London jokes, and come out the other side of it, have become genuine friends. Mind you, we have to put up with endless jokes about inbreeding and going 'ohhhhhh' everytime an aeroplane flies overhead. The scales are about even.

 

One such Londoner is Ivan, he, very sensibly, lives on a boat. Sorlt of the urff and all that, yer know wot I mean, Jon. Lovely man, for a Londoner. This is quite true by the way! Ivan was very much an anti-angler when he first arrived, although he didn't tell us until Wednesday evening. I was fishing alongside his boat, blessed great thing, but the pike lay under her, as the locals have discovered. Out comes the local biggy, again. We get chatting as I check her weight, she's a bit lean but no hooks in her gullet or anything untoward, she's healthy, just needs a few good bream inside her. Ivan is suitably impressed and then goes onto tell me of his feelings towards anglers. The school kids have been fishing off Ivans moorings, catching some nice doubles. One little fellow, about 11 or 12 has been there every day of his holiday. What impressed Ivan was the respect, and the joy, that that kid, and his friends, showed for what they caught. That little kid, and I watched him catch some good pike to 18 pounds, almost as long as he is tall, was a lesson to anyone wishing to take up pike fishing. He could teach quite a few adults a thing or two. He is going to be an angler for life, and London Ivan is now very much on our side. Lovely kid. Lovely man.

 

[ 07. September 2002, 10:44 AM: Message edited by: Peter Waller ]

[poledark]

Good stuff Peter.

Den (city boy who moved to the sticks)

 

Loved the ooohhh re the planes

[Peter Waller]

The dreaded letter has also appeared in the Eastern Daily Press, Norwich area.

[Gray-Catchpole]

south wales argus today too.

[Newt]

Peter - ".... Mind you, we have to put up with endless jokes about inbreeding ....."

 

You mean ones like "West Virginia - so many people, so few last names".

[Jim Roper]

Peter Waller:

The dreaded letter has also appeared in the Eastern Daily Press, Norwich area.

Is the same name being used?

 

Jim Roper

[Jim Roper]

Newt:

Peter - ".... Mind you, we have to put up with endless jokes about inbreeding

Same on Portland!

 

Jim Roper

[Peter Waller]

Jim Roper:

Jim Roper:

The dreaded letter has also appeared in the Eastern Daily Press, Norwich area.

Is the same name being used?

 

Jim Roper

Yes, the very same.

[Peter Waller]

Newt:

Peter - ".... Mind you, we have to put up with endless jokes about inbreeding ....."

 

You mean ones like "West Virginia - so many people, so few last names".

Don't tell me, in a class of 38 children, when the teacher calls out 'Newt', 32 of 'em say 'yes Miss'!

 

The Portland inbreeding mentioned by Jim, its far worse, they all have the same first name as well, Portland. And their fathers sir-name is always Bill. Its so if they get lost on the mainland the police know where to return 'em.