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Off The Hook


John S

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I've had this book on order for the past 3 weeks and it's just been published. Following on from Rosies' previous book, "The Fishing Widow's Guide", this new volume (and I'm quoting from the back cover here) "....takes an affectionate sideways look at the idiosyncrasies of anglers of all discipllines, shows us the lighter side of fishing widowhood and how the experience of living alongside fishing-obsessed family and friends eventually worked in her favour."

 

I started reading it in the pub at lunchtime and had got to page 70 before it was time for me to crawl out of the doors and into an awaiting taxi. I was particularly smitten with the following, quoted totallly without permissission and in the hope that I get a very understanding judge....

 

"(I have a 'thing' about owls) and I was desperate to catch a glimpse of them but was too scared to get out of the bivvy. You never know what you may encounter while stumbling about in the dark.

 

Good job I'd stayed put, as I discovered early next morning. Another of our party, a certain Elton 'pretty boy' Murphy, had passed out in the company of Jack Daniels, in a sleeping bag, slap, bang in the middle of the path. He resembled some bizarre, green cocoon and both of us would have had a particularly nasty shock had I ventured out and landed on top of him.

 

He hadn't intended to sleep on the path, he told me when I questioned his sanity and pointed out that a bivvy had been provided for his use. He'd got so plastered that he couldn't undo the zip again when he'd 'just got into it for some warmth while I watched me rods for a bit'. His rods had been reeled in and were leaning against a tree, by the way."

 

A very funny book, and one I heartily recommend you all buy. Tomorrow.

John S

Quanti Canicula Ille In Fenestra

 

Species caught in 2017 Common Ash, Hawthorn, Hazel, Scots Pine, White Willow.

Species caught in 2016: Alder, Blackthorn, Common Ash, Crab Apple, Left Earlobe, Pedunculate Oak, Rock Whitebeam, Scots Pine, Smooth-leaved Elm, Swan, Wayfaring tree.

Species caught in 2015: Ash, Bird Cherry, Black-Headed Gull, Common Hazel, Common Whitebeam, Elder, Field Maple, Gorse, Puma, Sessile Oak, White Willow.

Species caught in 2014: Big Angry Man's Ear, Blackthorn, Common Ash, Common Whitebeam, Downy Birch, European Beech, European Holly, Hawthorn, Hazel, Scots Pine, Wych Elm.
Species caught in 2013: Beech, Elder, Hawthorn, Oak, Right Earlobe, Scots Pine.

Species caught in 2012: Ash, Aspen, Beech, Big Nasty Stinging Nettle, Birch, Copper Beech, Grey Willow, Holly, Hazel, Oak, Wasp Nest (that was a really bad day), White Poplar.
Species caught in 2011: Blackthorn, Crab Apple, Elder, Fir, Hawthorn, Horse Chestnut, Oak, Passing Dog, Rowan, Sycamore, Willow.
Species caught in 2010: Ash, Beech, Birch, Elder, Elm, Gorse, Mullberry, Oak, Poplar, Rowan, Sloe, Willow, Yew.

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What with Rabbits and Owls what next John?? Sounds a RIGHT "HOOT" of a novel!

Chris Goddard


It is to be observed that 'angling' is the name given to fishing by people who can't fish.

If GOD had NOT meant us to go fishing, WHY did he give us arms then??


(If you can't help out someone in need then don't bother my old Dad always said! My grandma put it a LITTLE more, well different! It's like peeing yourself in a black pair of pants she said! It gives you a LOVELY warm feeling but no-one really notices!))

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Haha! I'd like to point out to the jury that this was well in my past and I haven't touched a drop of alcohol for nearly three years now :D

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Not even a nice TRIFLE?? Even I couldn't last a WHOLE year with no TRIFLE! :P

 

Still it made I laff!

Chris Goddard


It is to be observed that 'angling' is the name given to fishing by people who can't fish.

If GOD had NOT meant us to go fishing, WHY did he give us arms then??


(If you can't help out someone in need then don't bother my old Dad always said! My grandma put it a LITTLE more, well different! It's like peeing yourself in a black pair of pants she said! It gives you a LOVELY warm feeling but no-one really notices!))

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..."I discovered early next morning. Another of our party, a certain Elton 'pretty boy' Murphy, had passed out in the company of Jack Daniels, in a sleeping bag, slap, bang in the middle of the path. He resembled some bizarre, green cocoon and both of us would have had a particularly nasty shock had I ventured out and landed on top of him.

 

He hadn't intended to sleep on the path, he told me when I questioned his sanity and pointed out that a bivvy had been provided for his use. He'd got so plastered that he couldn't undo the zip again when he'd 'just got into it for some warmth while I watched me rods for a bit'. His rods had been reeled in and were leaning against a tree, by the way."

 

 

I was there during this event, and the manhood-defining rabbit attack, and all I can say is, Elton conducted himself with dignity, class and calm authority.

 

Wordbender, News At 10 - lying like a bleddy flatfish. ;)

And on the eighth day God created carp fishing...and he saw that it was pukka.

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I was there during this event, and the manhood-defining rabbit attack, and all I can say is, Elton conducted himself with dignity, class and calm authority.

 

Wordbender, News At 10 - lying like a bleddy flatfish. ;)

 

 

PRICELESS Wordbender absolutely PRICELESS!

Chris Goddard


It is to be observed that 'angling' is the name given to fishing by people who can't fish.

If GOD had NOT meant us to go fishing, WHY did he give us arms then??


(If you can't help out someone in need then don't bother my old Dad always said! My grandma put it a LITTLE more, well different! It's like peeing yourself in a black pair of pants she said! It gives you a LOVELY warm feeling but no-one really notices!))

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I was there during this event, and the manhood-defining rabbit attack, and all I can say is, Elton conducted himself with dignity, class and calm authority.

 

Wordbender, News At 10 - lying like a bleddy flatfish. ;)

 

:bigemo_harabe_net-163:

John S

Quanti Canicula Ille In Fenestra

 

Species caught in 2017 Common Ash, Hawthorn, Hazel, Scots Pine, White Willow.

Species caught in 2016: Alder, Blackthorn, Common Ash, Crab Apple, Left Earlobe, Pedunculate Oak, Rock Whitebeam, Scots Pine, Smooth-leaved Elm, Swan, Wayfaring tree.

Species caught in 2015: Ash, Bird Cherry, Black-Headed Gull, Common Hazel, Common Whitebeam, Elder, Field Maple, Gorse, Puma, Sessile Oak, White Willow.

Species caught in 2014: Big Angry Man's Ear, Blackthorn, Common Ash, Common Whitebeam, Downy Birch, European Beech, European Holly, Hawthorn, Hazel, Scots Pine, Wych Elm.
Species caught in 2013: Beech, Elder, Hawthorn, Oak, Right Earlobe, Scots Pine.

Species caught in 2012: Ash, Aspen, Beech, Big Nasty Stinging Nettle, Birch, Copper Beech, Grey Willow, Holly, Hazel, Oak, Wasp Nest (that was a really bad day), White Poplar.
Species caught in 2011: Blackthorn, Crab Apple, Elder, Fir, Hawthorn, Horse Chestnut, Oak, Passing Dog, Rowan, Sycamore, Willow.
Species caught in 2010: Ash, Beech, Birch, Elder, Elm, Gorse, Mullberry, Oak, Poplar, Rowan, Sloe, Willow, Yew.

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What's wrong with today???

 

It was nearly 10 to 8 at night when I started the thread, so you should have bought it by now ;)

John S

Quanti Canicula Ille In Fenestra

 

Species caught in 2017 Common Ash, Hawthorn, Hazel, Scots Pine, White Willow.

Species caught in 2016: Alder, Blackthorn, Common Ash, Crab Apple, Left Earlobe, Pedunculate Oak, Rock Whitebeam, Scots Pine, Smooth-leaved Elm, Swan, Wayfaring tree.

Species caught in 2015: Ash, Bird Cherry, Black-Headed Gull, Common Hazel, Common Whitebeam, Elder, Field Maple, Gorse, Puma, Sessile Oak, White Willow.

Species caught in 2014: Big Angry Man's Ear, Blackthorn, Common Ash, Common Whitebeam, Downy Birch, European Beech, European Holly, Hawthorn, Hazel, Scots Pine, Wych Elm.
Species caught in 2013: Beech, Elder, Hawthorn, Oak, Right Earlobe, Scots Pine.

Species caught in 2012: Ash, Aspen, Beech, Big Nasty Stinging Nettle, Birch, Copper Beech, Grey Willow, Holly, Hazel, Oak, Wasp Nest (that was a really bad day), White Poplar.
Species caught in 2011: Blackthorn, Crab Apple, Elder, Fir, Hawthorn, Horse Chestnut, Oak, Passing Dog, Rowan, Sycamore, Willow.
Species caught in 2010: Ash, Beech, Birch, Elder, Elm, Gorse, Mullberry, Oak, Poplar, Rowan, Sloe, Willow, Yew.

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