is the lady of your life making the rules?

[rich]

then print this out and give it to her!

 

or if you are a mouse stick it to the back of the toilet/bathroom door!

 

Men's Rules

 

Finally, the guys' side of the story. We always hear "the rules" from

the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are

our rules! Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

 

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it

down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining

about you leaving it down.

 

1. Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the

tides. Let it be.

 

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it

that way.

 

1. Crying is blackmail.

 

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do

not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say

it!

 

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every

question.

 

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's

what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends give you.

 

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

 

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In

fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

 

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us

to act like soap opera guys.

 

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the

ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

 

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it

done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it

yourself.

 

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during

commercials.

 

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

 

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach,

for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have

no idea what mauve is.

 

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

 

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like

nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the

hassle.

 

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer

you don't want to hear.

 

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is

fine... Really.

 

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to

discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster

trucks.

 

1. You have enough clothes.

 

1. You have too many shoes.

 

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

 

1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the

couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like

camping.

 

cheers

 

rich

[Jeff S]

A solution for the toilet seat is to leave it down. She'll be sure to put it up for you after you "hit" it a few times.

[nursejudy]

perhaps if some of you guys were to clean the toilet occasinally then you might get the point!!!!!!!!!!

judy

[bitsbobs]

nursejudy:

perhaps if some of you guys were to clean the toilet occasinally then you might get the point!!!!!!!!!!

judy    

.....and if you ladies did it standing up and from the same distance you'd miss occasionally

[nursejudy]

nice to see a man admitting his faults!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and that there is a problem!!!!!!!

[nursejudy]

Perhaps this is the answer to the problem!

 

 

 

 

judy

[John S]

Since the guillotine is too far back as well as being too high for normal mortals, can I be the first to admit that that thing would give me serious problems?

 

[ 22. October 2003, 10:28 PM: Message edited by: John S ]

[Alan Taylor]

nursejudy:

perhaps if some of you guys were to clean the toilet occasinally then you might get the point!!!!!!!!!!

judy    

I clean about 20 a day including sinks, showers and floors etc. The best one that I have seen closes down slowly after a wee while so everyone is happy

 

Alan(nl)

[Jeff S]

nursejudy:

perhaps if some of you guys were to clean the toilet occasinally then you might get the point!!!!!!!!!!

judy    

I tried that along with doing the wash. I'm now not allowed to do either. I left the wash in too long and was told I can't do it any longer, so I ask... Does that mean no more washing today or forever? Guess who slept on the couch? :confused: :confused:

[nursejudy]

of course