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Redneck field trip


Jeff S

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One for Newt...

 

 

A redneck family from the hills was visiting the city and they were in a mall for the first time in their life.

 

The father and son were strolling around while the wife shopped. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again. The boy asked, "Paw, What's 'at?"

 

The father (never having seen an elevator)responded, "Son, I dunno. I ain't never seen anything like that in my entire life, I ain't got no idea'r what it is."

 

While the boy and his father were watching with

amazement, a fat old lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy

and his father watched the small circular numbers above the walls light up. They continued to watch

until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. Then the walls opened up again and a gorgeous 24-year-old blonde woman stepped out.

 

The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son,

 

"Boy, go git yo Momma.... "

Jeff

 

Piscator non solum piscatur.

 

Yellow Prowler13

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Ask me at 75...

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Down south, Bubba called his attorney and asked, "Is it true they's suing them cigarette companies for causing people to get cancer?"

 

"Yes, Bubba, sure is true," responded the lawyer.

 

"And now someone is suing them fast food restaurants for making them fat and clogging their arteries with all them burgers and fries, is that true, mister lawyer?"

 

"Sure is Bubba"

 

"And the lady sued McDonald's for millions when she was given the hot coffee that she had ordered?"

 

"Yep."

 

"And the football player sued the university when he graduated and still couldn't read?"

 

"That's right," said the lawyer. "But why are you asking?"

 

"Well, I was thinking! What I want to know is, kin I sue Budweiser for all the ugly women I've slept with?"

" My choices in life were either to be a piano player in a whore house or a politician. And to tell the truth, there's hardly any difference!" - Harry Truman, 33rd US President

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