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Only in Ireland


Colin Brett

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The priest in a small Irish village was very fond of the chickens he kept in the hen house out back of the parish manse. He had a cock rooster and about ten hens. One Saturday night the cock rooster was missing and as that was the time he suspected cock fights occurred in the village he decided to do something about it at church the next morning.

 

At Mass, he asked the congregation

"Has anybody got a cock?" - all the men stood up.

 

"No No" he said "That wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock?" - all the women stood up.

 

"No No" he said "That wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock that doesn't belong to them." - half the women stood up.

 

”No No" he said "That wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen my

cock?" - All the nuns stood up.

 

Colin

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Betty, the town gossip and self-appointed supervisor of the town's morals, kept sticking her nose into other people's business.

 

Several local residents were unappreciative of her activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence. However, she made a mistake when she recently accused George, a local man, of being an alcoholic after she saw his pickup truck parked outside the town's only bar one afternoon.

 

George, a dedicated Christian and man of few words, stared at her for a moment and just walked away without saying a word. Later that evening, he parked his pickup truck in front of her house and left it there all night.

" My choices in life were either to be a piano player in a whore house or a politician. And to tell the truth, there's hardly any difference!" - Harry Truman, 33rd US President

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