nursery rhymes

[nigelnibbles]

Mary had a little lamb

Her father shot it dead.

Now it goes to school with her,

between two hunks of bread.

 

 

Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet,

her clothes all tattered and torn.

It wasn't the spider that crept beside her,

But Little Boy Blue and his horn.

 

 

Simple Simon met a Pieman, going to the fair.

Said Simple Simon to the Pieman,

What have you got there?

Said the Pieman unto Simon,

Pies, you ********.

 

 

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.

All the kings horses and all the kings men,

said "Screw the sucker, he's only an egg."

 

 

Mary had a little lamb

It ran into a pylon.

10,000 volts went up its ass

and turned it's wool to nylon

 

 

Georgie Porgy pudding and pie.

Kissed the girls and made them cry.

When the boys came out to play,

He kissed them too, cause he was gay.

[little onions]

Little Miss Muffett sat on a tuffett,

The tuffett was rough, it was making her numb.

A big, black spider sidled beside her,

Miss Muffett? She slid away fast, on her bum.

[Newt]

What did Sadamm Hussein and Little Miss Muffett have in common?

 

They both had curds in their whey!!

[Guest sslatter]

Jack and Jill went up the hill,

To fetch a pail of water,

Jack fell down and broke his neck,

And died a little later..

[chesters1]

there was a lady from frod,

who wanted a baby from god,

it wasnt the almighty that lifted her nighty,

it was the vicar the dirty old sod.

 

mary had a little lamb ,

its fleece as black as charcoal,

everytime it jumped a fence ,

sparks shot out its a$$%hole

[Ollie Jay]

Mary had a little shock

(edit note - stuff removed).

 

Flying fox - I liked that one but even with the **, it was still a little much for the forum. - Newt

 

[ 25. March 2004, 12:35 AM: Message edited by: Newt ]

[yoxer]

mary had a little shock

unfortunately thats all we know

for Newt has gone and censored it

he said its gotta go

[Ian Bass]

There was a young man from Wales,

Who lived on caviar and snails,

When he couldnt get these,

He lived on the cheese,

That he sraped, from his d***, with his nails.

 

I'll bet Newt removes this as well!!!

 

I apologise in advance to you Newt:)

 

[ 25. March 2004, 06:55 AM: Message edited by: Ian Bass ]

[Ollie Jay]

Flying Fox:

Mary had a little shock

(edit note - stuff removed).

 

Flying fox - I liked that one but even with the **, it was still a little much for the forum. - Newt

Sorry!

[bushwacker]

There was a young lady named Lynne,

Who was so terribly thin,

That when she assayed to drink lemonade,

She slid down the straw and fell in.

 

 

There was a young lady named green,

Who had a new washing machine,

Her baby fell in, went round with a spin,

And came out all shiny and clean.

 

There was a young girl from Madrarss

Who had a really beautiful Arss,

Not as you think, all round and pink,

But grey with four legs, and eats Grarss.

 

There was a young girl from Leeds,

Who swallowed a packet of seeds,

In less than an hour, her belly was aflower,

And her head was all covered in weeds.

 

To market to market,to see brother Jim,

For some-one had thrown a tomato at him,

Tomatos won't hurt you, I said with a grin,

Well these one's sure did, they were still in a tin.

 

[ 25. March 2004, 05:17 PM: Message edited by: bushwacker ]