Limericks ( I think that is how one spells it)

[poledark]

Quality stuff Vagabond,

 

Den

[Chris Plumb]

Quality thread this - all very amusing...

 

 

Chris

[billy brereton]

There was once a man from China

He was a mountain climber

He slipped on a rock

And broke his c**k

And now he's got a vigina

[billy brereton]

I just remembered this one!

 

There was a man from Leeds

He ate a whole packet of seeds

Within the hour

His d**k was a flower

And his balls were covered in weeds

[Alan Fawcett]

there was a young fisher named fisher

Who fished from the edge of a fisure

A fish with a grin pulled poor fisher in

now they're fishing the fisure for fisher.

 

Humpty dumpty sat on the bed

while little bo peep was giving him h***

when humpty came she started to weep

cos humpty f***ed off

& sh****d all her sheep.

 

[ 24. March 2003, 10:16 AM: Message edited by: Alan Fawcett ]

[bitsbobs]

A few of my favourites:

 

WARNING - MIGHT OFFEND!!!

 

There was a young girl from Wick.

Who said to her mum "What's a pr*ck?"

Good Gracious dear Annie,

It goes up your f*nny,

and jumps up and down 'til it's sick.

 

 

There was a young land from Cape Thorne.

That wished he never was born.

He woudn't have been,

If hid Father had seen,

That the end of his rubber was torn!

 

...AND MY ALL TIME FAVOURITE:

 

There was a professor supreme.

Who invented a w*nking machine.

It had a feather on top,

That tickled his c*ck.

And a bowl to catch all the cream!

 

NOT A LIMERICK BUT I REMEMBER THIS FROM MY SCHOOL DAYS. TO THE TUNE OF THE COUNTRY LIFE BUTTER AD:

 

We are the lads from the durex mob,

And you can't get a bit of better rubber on your knob.

It sticks to your d*ck like Evo Stick.

And you can't get it off in the morning.

 

[ 24. March 2003, 11:28 AM: Message edited by: bitsbobs ]

[corydoras]

There was an old lady from Greece

Who said "What I prefer to a piece,

Is to have my pudenda

rubbed by the enda

the little pink nose of my niece"

 

[ 26. March 2003, 12:10 AM: Message edited by: corydoras ]

[Wag]

There was a young man from Dundee

Who was stung on the neck by a wasp

When asked "Did it hurt?"

He replied "No it didn't

It can do it again if it likes"

 

 

I don't think I've quite got the hang of this!