Nasty ideas wanted

[RUDD]

I dont belive a word any of you say.

Students dont have food only loads of alcohol, drugs and sex!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

They even go to the occasional lecture when they can get up.

[corydoras]

RUDD:

 

They even go to the occasional lecture when they can get up.

Wrong. If they can get up they just have more sex!

[corydoras]

Nugg:

Dust it with powdered Alum, you will not only give the theif a shocking bad taste you will also find out who it is when you see them walking around with a mouth that looks like a sphincter. [a-hole]             

It must be Tony Blair!

 

PS Quick anagram

 

Tony Blair MP, I'm Tory, plan B.

[ayjay]

RUDD:

I dont belive a word any of you say.

Students dont have food only loads of alcohol, drugs and sex!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

They even go to the occasional lecture when they can get up.

I feel I have to stand up for my son here,he actually has about 20 hours of lectures per week in Chemistry, Maths and something to do with electronics.

He also partakes in Archery and Fencing in some of his spare time.He is normally out of bed by 6.00 am and goes out cycling.

 

There is definitely some alcohol involved,but he's kept quiet so far about the sex and drugs.

[Apache]

Try something like spraying a certain foof packet with some of that very sticky stuff thats a bugga to get off, coz then hes walking round with coloured hands for the next week or so.

[ayjay]

Apache:

some of that very sticky stuff thats a bugga to get off,

It's a sound idea Apache (as are most of the others,thanks everyone), can you give me a bit more info on this stuff,do you know what it's called or what it's true purpose is, or even where I could get some?

[Apache]

I dont know what it is called AJP, but I think you could probably buy it at a joke shop for bright sparks who want to put it on peoples chairs and the like. Have fun and catch the pilfering sonuvabitch.

 

If the packet is in the fridge then the paint is unlikely to dry.

 

[ 05. April 2003, 10:29 AM: Message edited by: Apache ]

[MrWiggly]

Are the students allowed TVs and Videos in their rooms ? If so how about getting hold of one of those cheap Video cameras that are usually self-installed outside peoples front doors? Latched into a video recorder they can watch their grub even when they are not there ......

[John S]

I remember when I was in my first year at college (in the Halls of Residence (aka - The Brothel)) we had a squatter living in one of the downstairs toilets for about two weeks. He would only come out in the very early morning when everyone was asleep (about 10.00) and steal their food.

 

Apart from the little quip regarding the time, this is all true.

 

Believe me, I'm a Moderator

[H Jampton]

Graham X:

ajp wrote: "There is a food thief at my son's uni,so far since September it is estimated that about £1000 worth has gone missing."

 

Not a new "phenomenon". As a mature student in the 90s, (the 1990s        ) I remember the 1st years' gripes about food going missing. Every floor of every hall of residence had food pilfered from the communal kitchens. And the culprits? Other students.

Then, when these 1st years moved into their 2nd year, and moved into shared houses, the gripes continued. It seemed that every shared house had at least "one"..someone who never chipped in, and used everybody else's food/clothes/equipment etc. And it wasn't only in their accomodation either. Girls' bags would be systemically stolen, credit cards used etc. Computers would go "missing". Art materials would disappear from storage. Thousands of pounds worth of theft annually. And the culprits? 99 times out of a hundred, it was other students. The other time? Staff. I caught one member of staff reselling a stack of art materials that he'd stolen from the students' communal store, all materials that they'd bought themselves, and given to this staff member for "safekeeping". By the time I got back to the scene with the Course Leader, he'd hidden all evidence, and intimidated the people he'd sold the stuff to into silence. And the b*****d got away scot free. He's still there up to the same tricks apparently.

They have a word for it.

 

Now let me think.

 

Oh yes!

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Socialism.

 

[ 06. April 2003, 10:51 AM: Message edited by: H Jampton ]