I think this is probably true

[Clifftop]

A man wakes up in the hospital bandaged from head to foot.
The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness.
Now you probably won't remember, but you were in a huge pile-up on the freeway.
You're going to be ok, you'll walk again and everything, but your penis was severed in the accident and we couldn't find it."
The man groans, but the doctor goes on, "You have $9,000 in insurance compensation coming and we now have the technology to build a new penis.
They work great but they don't come cheap. It's roughly $1,000 an inch."
The man perks up.
"So," the doctor says, "You must decide how many inches you want.
But I understand that you have been married for over thirty years and this is something you should discuss with your wife.
If you had a five incher before and get a nine incher now she might be a bit put out.
If you had a nine incher before and you decide to only invest in a five incher now, she might be disappointed.
It's important that she plays a role in helping you make a decision."
The man agrees to talk it over with his wife.
The doctor comes back the next day, "So, have you spoken with your wife?"
"Yes I have," says the man.
"And has she helped you make a decision?"
"Yes" says the man.
"What is your decision?" asks the doctor.


"We're getting a new kitchen."

[Sportsman]

After 45 years of marriage I can relate to this

[Tony U]

I have only been married 27 years and I can relate to it as well.

[chesters1]

Whats a freeway? Is it troilism

Edited February 20, 2014 by chesters1

[Newt]

American Interstate Highway - those thingy with multiple lanes, limited access, gradual climbs/dips, and very wide shoulders. The specs require they be at least wide enough to land a large (by 1950s standards) bomber aircraft.

[Clifftop]

American Interstate Highway - those thingy with multiple lanes, limited access, gradual climbs/dips, and very wide shoulders. The specs require they be at least wide enough to land a large (by 1950s standards) bomber aircraft.

same here but without the aircraft

[Ken L]

Meanwhile in Denmark, another man wakes up after a similar injury.

His doctor explains that there was nothing they could do to save his manhood but as he was initially in a coma, his wife had enrolled him in a clinical trial of a new anti-rejection drug and they had gone ahead and grafted on the trunk of a baby elephant that the local zoo had decided to shoot because one of it's parents was a bit iffy.

The man was of course shocked but decided to carry on with the trial and keep reporting back to the doctor.

At the first review, the healing was going well but there was no sensation.

At the second review, the doctor was happy and gave him a gonjugal green light.

At the third review, the doctor asked how things were.

"The wife loves it" says the man "but it can be embarrasing". "How so" says the doctor.

"Well, we were at a bufet last week and it kept grabbing buns and trying to shove them up my ar5e".

[Steve Walker]

The elephant trunk one is ancient, but it still cracks me up every time!