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Titanic & Slick Willie

severus

By severus
in Non-Fishing Chat

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severus Member

severus

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Students were assigned to read 2 books, "Titanic" & "My Life" by Bill Clinton. One smart a$$ student turned in the following book report,

with the proposition that they were nearly identical stories! His cool professor gave him an A+ for this report:

 

 

Titanic: $29.99

Clinton: $29.99

 

Titanic: Over 3 hours to read

Clinton: Over 3 hours to read

 

Titanic: The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.

Clinton: The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.

 

Titanic: Jack is a starving artist.

Clinton: Bill is a bullsh*t artist.

 

Titanic: In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar.

Clinton: Ditto for Bill.

 

Titanic: During ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined.

Clinton: Ditto for Monica.

 

Titanic: Jack teaches Rose to spit.

Clinton: Let's not go there.

 

Titanic: Rose gets to keep her jewelry.

Clinton: Monica's forced to return her gifts.

 

Titanic: Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life.

Clinton: Clinton doesn't remember Monica.

 

Titanic: Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen.

Clinton: Monica...ooh, let's not go there, either.

 

Titanic: Jack surrenders to an icy death.

Clinton: Bill goes home to Hillary...basically the same thing.

Be good and you will be lonely.
~ Mark Twain

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John S Member

John S

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Nice one :lol:

John S

Quanti Canicula Ille In Fenestra

 

Species caught in 2017 Common Ash, Hawthorn, Hazel, Scots Pine, White Willow.

Species caught in 2016: Alder, Blackthorn, Common Ash, Crab Apple, Left Earlobe, Pedunculate Oak, Rock Whitebeam, Scots Pine, Smooth-leaved Elm, Swan, Wayfaring tree.

Species caught in 2015: Ash, Bird Cherry, Black-Headed Gull, Common Hazel, Common Whitebeam, Elder, Field Maple, Gorse, Puma, Sessile Oak, White Willow.

Species caught in 2014: Big Angry Man's Ear, Blackthorn, Common Ash, Common Whitebeam, Downy Birch, European Beech, European Holly, Hawthorn, Hazel, Scots Pine, Wych Elm.
Species caught in 2013: Beech, Elder, Hawthorn, Oak, Right Earlobe, Scots Pine.

Species caught in 2012: Ash, Aspen, Beech, Big Nasty Stinging Nettle, Birch, Copper Beech, Grey Willow, Holly, Hazel, Oak, Wasp Nest (that was a really bad day), White Poplar.
Species caught in 2011: Blackthorn, Crab Apple, Elder, Fir, Hawthorn, Horse Chestnut, Oak, Passing Dog, Rowan, Sycamore, Willow.
Species caught in 2010: Ash, Beech, Birch, Elder, Elm, Gorse, Mullberry, Oak, Poplar, Rowan, Sloe, Willow, Yew.

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hembo Member

hembo

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Posted

very good

The salary of the chief executive of a large corporation is not a market award for achievement. It is frequently in the nature of a warm personal gesture by the individual to himself.

John Kenneth Galbraith

 

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medwaygreen Member

medwaygreen

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Enjoyed that :D:D

Fishing seems to be my favorite form of loafing.

 

"Even a bad day of fishing is better than a good day of work."

 

I know the joy of fishes in the river through my own joy, as I go walking along the same river.

 

What do you think if the float does not dip, try again I think.

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