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HAVE A LAUGH


Bobj

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The male 'Agony Aunt'....

 

Dear Walter,

 

I hope you can help me here. The other day, I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn't driven more than a mile down the road when the engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt. I walked back home to get my husband's help. When I got home I couldn't believe my eyes. He was in our bedroom with the neighbour's daughter. I am 41, my husband is 44, and the neighbour's daughter is 22.

 

We have been married for ten years. When I confronted him, he broke down and admitted that they had been having an affair for the past six months. I told him to stop or I would leave him. He was let go from his job six months ago and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless. I love him very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become increasingly distant. He won't go to counselling and I'm afraid I can't get through to him anymore.

 

Can you please help?

 

Sincerely,

 

Sheila

 

 

 

******************************

 

Dear Sheila:

 

A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine. Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. If it is clear, check the vacuum pipes and hoses on the intake manifold and also check all grounding wires. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the injectors.

 

I hope this helps,

 

Walter

"Some people hear their inner voices with such clarity that they live by what they hear, such people go crazy, but they become legends"
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One of the more blatant cases of discrimination I've seen in a while but I think I'll hold off on reporting it.

 

discrimination.jpg

" My choices in life were either to be a piano player in a whore house or a politician. And to tell the truth, there's hardly any difference!" - Harry Truman, 33rd US President

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Whilst we're pushing the bounds of good taste...

 

 

Say what you like about paedophiles, at least they drive slowly past schools!

Edited by Angly

Geoff

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An old man placed order for one hamburger, French fries and a drink.

 

He unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half, placing one half in front of his wife.

 

He then carefully counted out the French fries, dividing them into two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife.

 

He took a sip of the drink; his wife took a sip and then set the cup down between them. As he began to eat his few bites of hamburger, the people around them were looking over and whispering.

 

Obviously they were thinking, 'That poor old couple - all they can afford is one meal for the two of them.'

 

As the man began to eat his fries a young man came to the table and politely offered to buy another meal for the old couple. The old man said, they were just fine - they were used to sharing everything.

 

People closer to the table noticed the little old lady hadn't eaten a bite. She sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking turns sipping the drink.

 

Again, the young man came over and begged them to let him buy another meal for them. This time the old woman said 'No, thank you, we are used to sharing everything.'

 

Finally, as the old man finished and was wiping his face neatly with the napkin, the young man again came over to the little old lady who had yet to eat a single bite of food and asked 'What is it you are waiting for?'

 

 

She answered

 

 

 

(Continue below - This is great)

 

 

 

 

 

'THE TEETH.'

Ian

 

"If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving isn't for you"

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A cowboy and his new wife had just got married and found a nice hotel for their wedding night. The man approached the front desk and asked for a room.

 

He said, 'We're on our honeymoon and we need a nice room with a good strong bed.

 

The clerk winked, 'You want the Bridal"?

 

The cowboy reflected on this for a moment and then replied,

'Nope, I reckon not. I'll just hold onto her ears until she gets used to it.'

" My choices in life were either to be a piano player in a whore house or a politician. And to tell the truth, there's hardly any difference!" - Harry Truman, 33rd US President

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