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Brilliant,Bob!

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Wingham Specimen Coarse & Carp Syndicates www.winghamfisheries.co.uk Beautiful, peaceful, little fished gravel pit syndicates in Kent with very big fish. 2017 Forum Fish-In Sat May 6 to Mon May 8. Articles http://www.anglersnet.co.uk/steveburke.htm Index of all my articles on Angler's Net

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  • 2 months later...

After a Tuesday fishing on the River Test, near Southampton in Southern England, Trevor is walking from the pier carrying two brown trout in a bucket.

He is approached by a Water Conservation Officer who asks him for his fishing license.

Trevor replies to the environmentalist, 'I was not fishing and I did not catch these brown trout, they are my pets. Every day I come down to the water and put these fish into the water and take them for a walk to the end of the pier and back. When I'm ready to go I whistle and they jump back into the bucket and we go home.

The officer, obviously, does not believe him and he reminds Trevor that it is illegal to fish without a license. The fisherman turns to the warden and says, 'If you don't believe me then watch, 'and he throws the trout back into the water.

The warden says, 'Now whistle to your fish and show me that they will jump out of the water and into the bucket.'


The fisherman turns to the officer and says, 'What fish?'

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The two best times to go fishing are when it's raining and when it's not

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Me : I want to divorce my wife.

Lawyer : On what grounds?

Me : She's out all night, every night, going from bar to bar.

Lawyer : Are you saying she's an alcoholic or do you think she's cheating?

Me : No, she's looking for me.

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Arnie, a young American, was on a short break holiday in Piddlehinton in the Dorset countryside. The next day he was going for a job interview in London but he needed to ask for directions, so he spoke to local farmhand, Martin.

'Yo, feller, could you possibly tell me the quickest way to London?'

Martin replied in a rich Dorset country accent, 'You driving or walking, lad?'
Arnie quickly replied, 'Driving.'

Martin, the farmhand nodded wisely, saying: 'Oooh aargh, that be certainly the quickest way'.

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The two best times to go fishing are when it's raining and when it's not

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Disagree Chesters, personally when I read one of phone’s posts I immediately think, “I bet that bloke wears his baseball cap back to front.”

There are good sensible reasons why some wear baseball caps back to front, just as there are good sensible reasons for wearing them the "right" way round.

 

A politician might say that gives the wearer a "choice"

 

Me ? I combine the advantages of both, and wear a deerstalker.

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RNLI Governor

 

World species 471 : UK species 105 : English species 95 .

Certhia's world species - 215

Eclectic "husband and wife combined" world species 501

 

"Nothing matters very much, few things matter at all" - Plato

...only things like fresh bait and cold beer...

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Deerstalker is the best designed fishing hat made. You can even drop the flaps down to keep your ears warm and tie it under your chin to stop it blowing away. Having said that, I have friend who was a ghillie in Scotland. One day he was wearing his deerstalker tied down and his client offered him a dram. Because of the flaps, Robbie didn't hear him. He has never worn a deerstalker since that day.

Let's agree to respect each others views, no matter how wrong yours may be.

 

 

Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity

 

 

 

http://www.safetypublishing.co.uk/
http://www.safetypublishing.ie/

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All my Baseball caps only have a peak at the Front!! :bigemo_harabe_net-163:

Boy those yanks would get confused if they were told a deerstalker was a baseball cap

Believe NOTHING anyones says or writes unless you witness it yourself and even then your eyes can deceive you

None of this "the enemy of my enemy is my friend" crap it just means i have at least two enemies!

 

There is only one opinion i listen to ,its mine and its ALWAYS right even when its wrong

 

Its far easier to curse the darkness than light one candle

 

Mathew 4:19

Grangers law : anything i say will  turn out the opposite or not happen at all!

Life insurance? you wont enjoy a penny!

"To compel a man to furnish contributions of money for the propagation of opinions which he disbelieves and abhors, is sinful and tyrannical." Thomas Jefferson

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To Our Sons

1. Never shake a man’s hand sitting down.

2. There are plenty of ways to enter a pool. The stairs ain’t one.

3. The man at the grill is the closest thing America has to a king.

4. In a negotiation, never make the first offer.

5. Act like you’ve been there before.

6. Request the late check-out.

7. When entrusted with a secret, keep it.

8. Hold your heroes to a higher standard.

9. Return a borrowed car with a full tank of gas.

10. Don’t fill up on bread.

11. When shaking hands, grip firmly and look him in the eye.

12. Don’t let a wishbone grow where a backbone should be.

13. If you need music on the beach, you’re missing the point.

14. Carry two handkerchiefs. The one in your back pocket is for you. The one in your breast pocket is for her.

15. You marry the girl, you marry her whole family.

16. Be like a duck. Remain calm on the surface and paddle like crazy underneath.

17. Experience the serenity of traveling alone.

18. Never be afraid to ask out the best-looking girl in the room.

19. Never turn down a breath mint.

20. In a game of (nothing British about this one).

21. A sport coat is worth 1000 words.

22. Try writing your own eulogy. Never stop revising.

23. Thank a veteran. And then make it up to him.

24. If you want to know what makes you unique, sit for a caricature.

25. Eat lunch with the new kid.

26. After writing an angry email, read it carefully. Then delete it.

27. Ask your mom to play. She won’t let you win.

28. See it on the big screen.

29. Give credit. Take the blame.

30. Write down your dreams.

 

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There are good sensible reasons why some wear baseball caps back to front, just as there are good sensible reasons for wearing them the "right" way round.

 

A politician might say that gives the wearer a "choice"

 

Me ? I combine the advantages of both, and wear a deerstalker.

Can you wear a deerstalker hat back to front Vagabond or would you look like a total plonker if you did? Hang on a sec, it doesn’t stop those that do it with baseball caps!

"My imaginary friend doesn't like your imaginary friend is no basis for armed conflict...."

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