HAVE A LAUGH

[*Ant*]

[Martin56]

Ironically, The GCS (Glasgow Coma Scale) is the Internationally?? accepted method of a critical patient's medical assessment on entering A & E.

 

[Phone]

all,

My husband and I went through the McDonald's driveway window and I gave the cashier a $5 bill.

Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her 25c.

She said, 'you gave me too much money.'

I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar back.'

She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request.

I did so, and he handed me back the 25c, and said 'We're sorry but we don’t do that kind of thing.'

The cashier then proceeded to give me back 75 cents in change.

Do not confuse the people at MacD's.

We had to have the garage door repaired.

The repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener.

I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower.

He shook his head and said, 'You need a 1/4 horsepower.'

I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4 and he said, 'NOOO, it's not. Four is larger than two.'

We haven't used that repairman since...

I live in a semi rural area.

We recently had a new neighbor call the local city council office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road.

The reason: 'Too many deers are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'

IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE.

My daughter went to a Mexican fast food and ordered a taco.

She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.'

He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked,

'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?'

To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?'

He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'

The pedestrian light on the corner beeps when it's safe to cross the street.

I was crossing with an 'intellectually challenged' co-worker of mine.

She asked if I knew what the beeper was for.

I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.

Appalled, she responded, 'what on earth are blind people doing driving?!'

She is a government employee.....

When my wife and I arrived at a car dealership to pick up our car after a

service, we were told the keys had been locked in it.

We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver’s side door.

As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked.

‘Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'its open!'

His reply, 'I know. I already did that side.'

STAY ALERT!

They walk among us, they breed, and they vote…....

You now have 2 options...

[chesters1]

All jokes have a ring of truth

[Phone]

ALL,

AFTER BRAZIL'S PRESIDENT VISITED TRUMP BRAZIL IDENTIFIED 54 MORE THAT TESTED POSITIVE FOR COVID 19

SCARY - HOW MANY PEOPLE IN A BRAZILLON

Phone

[*Ant*]

[Martin56]

On 3/21/2020 at 3:54 PM, Phone said:

ALL,

AFTER BRAZIL'S PRESIDENT VISITED TRUMP BRAZIL IDENTIFIED 54 MORE THAT TESTED POSITIVE FOR COVID 19

SCARY - HOW MANY PEOPLE IN A BRAZILLON

Phone

Could be a "Close Shave", Maybe 1 in the Hand (& 2 in the Bush)  

Edited March 23, 2020 by Martin56

[Ken L]

Was in the post office yesterday and there was a terrible panic when three blokes came in through the door wearing masks.

Then one of them said "This is a robbery" and we all calmed down a bit. 

[*Ant*]

[Martin56]

When Gene Pitney passed away, it would have taken a week to make his coffin from Oak.

But only 24 Hours From Balsa!!!!