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Bobj

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barry luxton Member

barry luxton

Posted
Posted

Two kids are playing football in a park in Manchester, when one of the kids is suddenly attacked by a huge rottweiler, luckily the other kid finds a plank of wood and shoves it in the dogs collar and twists it and breaks the dogs neck!
A man also in the park witnesses this and says to the kid "That was amazing! I'm a journalist for the Manchester Evening news, i would like to write an article about what just happened
He starts writing a headline "United fan saves friend from ...dog", the kid says "I'm not a United fan".
He starts again "City fan saves friend from dog". Kid says "I'm not a City fan".
The journalist asks "Who do you support then", the kid answers "Liverpool".
The journalists starts again "Scouse yobbo murders family pet in cold blood!"

  • Like 1

Free to choose apart from the ones where the trust poked their nose in. Common eel. tope. Bass and sea bream. All restricted.


New for 2016 TAT are the main instigators for the demise of the u k bass charter boat industry, where they went screaming off to parliament and for the first time assisting so called angling gurus set up bass take bans with the e u using rubbish exaggerated info collected by ices from anglers, they must be very proud.

Upgrade, the door has been closed with regards to anglers being linked to the e u superstate and the failed c f p. So TAT will no longer need to pay monies to the EAA anymore as that org is no longer relevant to the u k . Goodbye to the europeon anglers alliance and pathetic restrictions from the e u.

Angling is better than politics, ban politics from angling.

Consumer of bass. where is the evidence that the u k bass stock need angling trust protection. Why won't you work with your peers instead of castigating them. They have the answer.

Recipie's for mullet stew more than welcomed.

Angling sanitation trust and kent and sussex sea anglers org delete's and blocks rsa's alternative opinion on their face book site. Although they claim to rep all.

new for 2014. where is the evidence that the south coast bream stock need the angling trust? Your campaign has no evidence. Why won't you work with your peers, the inshore under tens? As opposed to alienating them? Angling trust failed big time re bait digging, even fish legal attempted to intervene and failed, all for what, nothing.

Looks like the sea angling reps have been coerced by the ifca's to compose sea angling strategy's that the ifca's at some stage will look at drafting into legislation to manage the rsa, because they like wasting tax payers money. That's without asking the rsa btw. You know who you are..

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I ordered a Chinese meal last night. Chinese driver came to our door and I walked out to meet him. He started shouting "isolate" "isolate" I said you’re not that late, I only ordered 25 minutes ago!

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barry luxton Member

barry luxton

Posted
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Paddy had long heard the stories of an amazing family tradition.
It seems that his father, grandfather and great-grandfather had all been
able to walk on water on their 18th birthday.
On that special day, they'd each walked across the lake to the pub on the
far side for their first legal drink....
So when Paddy's 18th birthday came around, he and his pal Mick, took a boat
out to the middle of the lake, Paddy, stepped out of the boat and nearly
drowned!
Mick just barely managed to pull him to safety.
Furious and confused, Paddy went to see his grandmother .
Grandma," he asked, "Tis me 18th birthday, so why can't I walk across the
lake like me father, his father and his father before him?"
Granny looked deeply into Paddy's, troubled blue eyes and said, "Because yer
father, yer grandfather and yer great-grandfather were all born in December,
when the lake is frozen, and ye were born in August, ya fookin idiot!"

  • Like 2

Free to choose apart from the ones where the trust poked their nose in. Common eel. tope. Bass and sea bream. All restricted.


New for 2016 TAT are the main instigators for the demise of the u k bass charter boat industry, where they went screaming off to parliament and for the first time assisting so called angling gurus set up bass take bans with the e u using rubbish exaggerated info collected by ices from anglers, they must be very proud.

Upgrade, the door has been closed with regards to anglers being linked to the e u superstate and the failed c f p. So TAT will no longer need to pay monies to the EAA anymore as that org is no longer relevant to the u k . Goodbye to the europeon anglers alliance and pathetic restrictions from the e u.

Angling is better than politics, ban politics from angling.

Consumer of bass. where is the evidence that the u k bass stock need angling trust protection. Why won't you work with your peers instead of castigating them. They have the answer.

Recipie's for mullet stew more than welcomed.

Angling sanitation trust and kent and sussex sea anglers org delete's and blocks rsa's alternative opinion on their face book site. Although they claim to rep all.

new for 2014. where is the evidence that the south coast bream stock need the angling trust? Your campaign has no evidence. Why won't you work with your peers, the inshore under tens? As opposed to alienating them? Angling trust failed big time re bait digging, even fish legal attempted to intervene and failed, all for what, nothing.

Looks like the sea angling reps have been coerced by the ifca's to compose sea angling strategy's that the ifca's at some stage will look at drafting into legislation to manage the rsa, because they like wasting tax payers money. That's without asking the rsa btw. You know who you are..

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Chris Plumb Member

Chris Plumb

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THOUSANDS of costumed children and their parents are under the mistaken impression that they live in America, it has emerged.

 

 

What exactly do you think you are doing?

 

The wrong-headed youngsters will dress up as witches and suchlike to indulge in the American ritual of visiting houses for sweets, something that makes absolutely no sense in the UK.

 

Professor Henry Brubaker of the Institute for Studies said: “There is a growing mass delusion involving something called ‘trick or treat’.

 

“It’s one of those things like monster trucks, Twinkies and Hulk Hogan that they love in the so-called ‘states’ but is in fact completely demented.

 

“Householders are quite entitled to tell these children to **** off on the basis that they are culturally irrelevant.”

 

Home owner Bill McKay said: “I had these two little ones turn up dressed as orcs. I held my ground and said, ‘This isn’t America – so f*ck off’.

 

“They went off crying, but sometimes life’s lessons come hard. I am proud of myself.”

 

Six-year old Joseph Turner, who visited Bill McKay’s house, said: “I wanted to be a vet when I grew up, but since having a traumatic experience on Halloween I’ve decided to be a serial killer.”

"Study to be quiet." ><((º> My Blog

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Clifftop Member

Clifftop

Posted
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Teacher Arrested At Sydney International Airport

A senior high school maths teacher was arrested today at Sydney’s Kingsford-Smith International airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, a slide-rule and a calculator.

At the press conference, the Attorney General said he believes the man is a member of the notorious extremist Al-Gebra movement.

He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the A.F.P. with carrying weapons of math instruction.

"Al-Gebra is a problem for us", the Attorney General said. "They derive solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values. They will often use secret code names like "X" and "Y" and refer to themselves as 'unknowns'; but we have determined that they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philosopher Isosceles used to say, " 'There are three sides to every triangle.' "

When asked to comment on the arrest, the Prime Minister Tony Abbott said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, he would have given us more fingers and toes."

Fellow Liberal colleagues told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent nor profound statement by the Prime Minister.

  • Like 1

my mind not only wanders-- sometimes it leaves completely.

 

 

Updated 7/3/09

http://sites.google.com/site/pomfred/

 

 

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Newt Member

Newt

Posted
Posted

Great 1960 advert for WD-40

 

 

WD-40.jpg

" My choices in life were either to be a piano player in a whore house or a politician. And to tell the truth, there's hardly any difference!" - Harry Truman, 33rd US President

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Bobj Member

Bobj

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  • Author
Posted

Two older women were having lunch together,
And discussing the merits of cosmetic surgery.

The first old lady said, "I need to be honest with you, I'm getting a boob-job."
The second woman replied, "Oh, that's nothing. I'm thinking of having my ar*e~hole bleached!"

"Oh! Dear!" replied the first woman. "I just can't picture your husband as a blonde!"

  • Like 1

ocker-anim.gifROO.gif

 

 

Cheers, Bobj.

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corydoras Member

corydoras

Posted
Posted (edited)

When asked to comment on the arrest, the Prime Minister Tony Abbott said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, he would have given us more fingers and toes."

 

That bit could be true! Tony Abbott is like Sara Palin in drag.

Edited by corydoras

The problem isn't what people don't know, it's what they know that just ain't so.
Vaut mieux ne rien dire et passer pour un con que de parler et prouver que t'en est un!
Mi, ch’fais toudis à m’mote

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barry luxton Member

barry luxton

Posted
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That bit could be true! Tony Abbott is like Sara Palin in drag.

 

 

errm was that a joke?

Free to choose apart from the ones where the trust poked their nose in. Common eel. tope. Bass and sea bream. All restricted.


New for 2016 TAT are the main instigators for the demise of the u k bass charter boat industry, where they went screaming off to parliament and for the first time assisting so called angling gurus set up bass take bans with the e u using rubbish exaggerated info collected by ices from anglers, they must be very proud.

Upgrade, the door has been closed with regards to anglers being linked to the e u superstate and the failed c f p. So TAT will no longer need to pay monies to the EAA anymore as that org is no longer relevant to the u k . Goodbye to the europeon anglers alliance and pathetic restrictions from the e u.

Angling is better than politics, ban politics from angling.

Consumer of bass. where is the evidence that the u k bass stock need angling trust protection. Why won't you work with your peers instead of castigating them. They have the answer.

Recipie's for mullet stew more than welcomed.

Angling sanitation trust and kent and sussex sea anglers org delete's and blocks rsa's alternative opinion on their face book site. Although they claim to rep all.

new for 2014. where is the evidence that the south coast bream stock need the angling trust? Your campaign has no evidence. Why won't you work with your peers, the inshore under tens? As opposed to alienating them? Angling trust failed big time re bait digging, even fish legal attempted to intervene and failed, all for what, nothing.

Looks like the sea angling reps have been coerced by the ifca's to compose sea angling strategy's that the ifca's at some stage will look at drafting into legislation to manage the rsa, because they like wasting tax payers money. That's without asking the rsa btw. You know who you are..

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corydoras Member

corydoras

Posted
Posted

errm was that a joke?

Kind of, but you won't get it if your not an Aussie.

The problem isn't what people don't know, it's what they know that just ain't so.
Vaut mieux ne rien dire et passer pour un con que de parler et prouver que t'en est un!
Mi, ch’fais toudis à m’mote

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