HAVE A LAUGH

[ayjay]

http://quirker.co.uk/story/woman-rear-ends-van-after-rampant-rabbit-distraction

[Bobj]

A wealthy Arab Sheikh was admitted to hospital for heart surgery, but prior to the surgery, the doctors needed to store his type of blood, in case the need arose. As the gentleman had a rare type of blood, it couldn't be found locally, so, the call went out.

Finally a Scotsman was located who had a similar blood type. The Scot
willingly donated his blood for the Arab.

After successful surgery, the Arab sent the Scotsman in appreciation for giving
his blood, a new BMW, 5 carats of diamonds and $50,000 dollars.

A few months later, once again, the Arab had to go through a corrective surgery.

The hospital telephoned the Scotsman who was more than happy to
donate more of his blood again.

After the second surgery, the Arab sent the Scotsman a thank-you card and a box of Black Magic chocolates.

The Scotsman was shocked that the Arab did not reciprocate his kind gesture as he had before.

He phoned the Arab and asked him: "I thought you would be generous again, that you would give me another BMW, diamonds and money ... but you only gave me a thank-you card and a box of chocolates."

To this the Arab replied: "Aye laddie, but I now have Scottish blood in ma veins".

 

[Ken L]

A senior policeman in China has been suspended from his job after being caught masturbating and smoking joints in his office.

No name was given but he was a high w@nking officer.

[Clifftop]

"I can't believe that you've been visiting prostitutes for sex," screamed my wife. "I'm really disappointed."

 

"You can hardly blame me," I answered. "It's not like I was getting any from you.”

 

"Well that's your fault," she replied. “You never told me you were willing to pay for it”

[chesters1]

I am sure i have posted this before but a search reveals nothing.

 

Chaps walking down an alley when a lady of the night approaches

"hi big boy want some fun?"

Chap " that would be nice but i hav'nt any money"

"oh ,but you must have something for just a quicky surely"

Chap "sounds great but all i have is a fiver"

"a bloody fiver ,tsk ok that will do"

Lady takes chap to room where he does the dirty deed

Chap pulling up his trousers "bloody hell ,if i had known you were a virgin i would have given you a tenner"

Lady growlingly "if i had known you had a tenner i would have taken me tights off"

[Huge_Vitae]

https://www.facebook.com/tercarro/posts/798673186896563

 

Made me crack!

[wotnobivvy]

https://www.facebook.com/tercarro/posts/798673186896563

 

Made me crack!

 

Link don't work

[Huge_Vitae]

Another try........

Getting annoyed with apps, have to get the laptop out of hiding otherwise!

Edited June 11, 2021 by Huge_Vitae

[Ken L]

Still don't work.

Face it, Facebook is rubbish.

[Clifftop]

A blonde was driving home after a game and got caught in a really bad hailstorm.. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it
to a repair shop. The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided to have some fun... He told her to go home and blow into the
tailpipe really hard, and all the dents would pop out.


So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and started blowing into her tailpipe.. Nothing happened.. So she blew a little
harder and still nothing happened.


Her blonde room mate saw her and asked, 'What are you doing?' The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the
tailpipe in order to get all the dents to pop out. The room mate rolled her eyes and said, 'Uh, like hello! You need to roll up the windows first.'