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The frequency of sexual activity of senior males depends on where they were born.

 

Statistics just released from Statistics Australia and The United Nations B.O.H. Team, reveal that:

Australian men between 55 and 85 years of age, will on average, have sex two to three times per week, (and a small number a lot more), whereas Japanese men, in exactly the same age group, will have sex only once or twice per year if they are lucky.

This has come as very upsetting news to both me and most of my mates at the Golf Club, as none of us had any idea we were Japanese.

my mind not only wanders-- sometimes it leaves completely.

 

 

Updated 7/3/09

http://sites.google.com/site/pomfred/

 

 

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I ordered a Chinese meal last night. Chinese driver came to our door and I walked out to meet him. He started shouting "isolate" "isolate" I said you’re not that late, I only ordered 25 minutes ago!

Alex Salmond's colleagues decided it would be a worthy gesture to name a railway locomotive after him. So an official went to the National Railway Museum at York, to investigate the possibilities. "T

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An old man walks into the barbershop for a shave and a haircut, but he
tells the barber he can't get all his whiskers off because his cheeks
are wrinkled from age. The barber gets a little wooden ball from a cup
on the shelf and tells him to put it inside his cheek to spread out the
skin. When he's finished, the old man tells the barber that was the
cleanest shave he's had in years. But he wanted to know what would have
happened if he had swallowed that little ball.The barber replied:"Just
bring it back tomorrow like everyone else does"

 

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Free to choose apart from the ones where the trust poked their nose in. Common eel. tope. Bass and sea bream. All restricted.


New for 2016 TAT are the main instigators for the demise of the u k bass charter boat industry, where they went screaming off to parliament and for the first time assisting so called angling gurus set up bass take bans with the e u using rubbish exaggerated info collected by ices from anglers, they must be very proud.

Upgrade, the door has been closed with regards to anglers being linked to the e u superstate and the failed c f p. So TAT will no longer need to pay monies to the EAA anymore as that org is no longer relevant to the u k . Goodbye to the europeon anglers alliance and pathetic restrictions from the e u.

Angling is better than politics, ban politics from angling.

Consumer of bass. where is the evidence that the u k bass stock need angling trust protection. Why won't you work with your peers instead of castigating them. They have the answer.

Recipie's for mullet stew more than welcomed.

Angling sanitation trust and kent and sussex sea anglers org delete's and blocks rsa's alternative opinion on their face book site. Although they claim to rep all.

new for 2014. where is the evidence that the south coast bream stock need the angling trust? Your campaign has no evidence. Why won't you work with your peers, the inshore under tens? As opposed to alienating them? Angling trust failed big time re bait digging, even fish legal attempted to intervene and failed, all for what, nothing.

Looks like the sea angling reps have been coerced by the ifca's to compose sea angling strategy's that the ifca's at some stage will look at drafting into legislation to manage the rsa, because they like wasting tax payers money. That's without asking the rsa btw. You know who you are..

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"Marlee," asked Dawn thoughtfully one day, "what would you do if you
caught your husband with another woman?"

"Another woman with MY husband?" Marlee thought it over.

"Let's see. I'd break her cane, shoot her guide dog, and call a cab
to take her back to the institution she escaped from."

  • Like 1

my mind not only wanders-- sometimes it leaves completely.

 

 

Updated 7/3/09

http://sites.google.com/site/pomfred/

 

 

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in the morning Tom calls to his boss:
- Good morning, boss, unfortunately I'm not coming to work today. I'm really sick. I got a headache, stomach ache, and my both hands and legs hurt, so I'm not coming into work."
The boss replies:
- You know Tom, I really need you today. When I feel like this I go to my wife, and tell her to give me sex. That makes me feel better, and I can go to work. You should try that.
2 hours later Bob calls:
- Boss, I followed your advise, and I feel great! I'll be at work soon. By the way, you got nice house.

  • Like 2

Free to choose apart from the ones where the trust poked their nose in. Common eel. tope. Bass and sea bream. All restricted.


New for 2016 TAT are the main instigators for the demise of the u k bass charter boat industry, where they went screaming off to parliament and for the first time assisting so called angling gurus set up bass take bans with the e u using rubbish exaggerated info collected by ices from anglers, they must be very proud.

Upgrade, the door has been closed with regards to anglers being linked to the e u superstate and the failed c f p. So TAT will no longer need to pay monies to the EAA anymore as that org is no longer relevant to the u k . Goodbye to the europeon anglers alliance and pathetic restrictions from the e u.

Angling is better than politics, ban politics from angling.

Consumer of bass. where is the evidence that the u k bass stock need angling trust protection. Why won't you work with your peers instead of castigating them. They have the answer.

Recipie's for mullet stew more than welcomed.

Angling sanitation trust and kent and sussex sea anglers org delete's and blocks rsa's alternative opinion on their face book site. Although they claim to rep all.

new for 2014. where is the evidence that the south coast bream stock need the angling trust? Your campaign has no evidence. Why won't you work with your peers, the inshore under tens? As opposed to alienating them? Angling trust failed big time re bait digging, even fish legal attempted to intervene and failed, all for what, nothing.

Looks like the sea angling reps have been coerced by the ifca's to compose sea angling strategy's that the ifca's at some stage will look at drafting into legislation to manage the rsa, because they like wasting tax payers money. That's without asking the rsa btw. You know who you are..

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Today is the anniversary of the death of my grandfather and whenever I watch this man he reminds me so much of him. he even looks like him and was a west ham supporter.

He served in both world wars in the royal navy as a boy and as a man survived being sunk twice once by a mine and second by the bismark.

 

I wonder what his thoughts would be today ....?https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bp8aTvVqE7I

  • Like 1

There is not one thing different between ideology and religeon
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Into a Belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy, looking like he'd just
Been run over by a train.
His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, his face is cut and bruised
And he's walking with a limp.
"What happened to you?" asks Sean, the bartender.
" Jamie O'Conner and me had a fight," says Paddy.
" That little sh*t, O'Conner," says Sean, "He couldn't do that
To you, he must have had something in his hand."
" That he did," says Paddy, "a shovel is what he had, and
A terrible lickin' he gave me with it."
" Well," says Sean, "you should have defended
Yourself, didn't you have something in your hand?"
" That I did," said Paddy.
"Mrs. O'Conner's breast, and a thing of beauty
It was, but useless in a fight."

Free to choose apart from the ones where the trust poked their nose in. Common eel. tope. Bass and sea bream. All restricted.


New for 2016 TAT are the main instigators for the demise of the u k bass charter boat industry, where they went screaming off to parliament and for the first time assisting so called angling gurus set up bass take bans with the e u using rubbish exaggerated info collected by ices from anglers, they must be very proud.

Upgrade, the door has been closed with regards to anglers being linked to the e u superstate and the failed c f p. So TAT will no longer need to pay monies to the EAA anymore as that org is no longer relevant to the u k . Goodbye to the europeon anglers alliance and pathetic restrictions from the e u.

Angling is better than politics, ban politics from angling.

Consumer of bass. where is the evidence that the u k bass stock need angling trust protection. Why won't you work with your peers instead of castigating them. They have the answer.

Recipie's for mullet stew more than welcomed.

Angling sanitation trust and kent and sussex sea anglers org delete's and blocks rsa's alternative opinion on their face book site. Although they claim to rep all.

new for 2014. where is the evidence that the south coast bream stock need the angling trust? Your campaign has no evidence. Why won't you work with your peers, the inshore under tens? As opposed to alienating them? Angling trust failed big time re bait digging, even fish legal attempted to intervene and failed, all for what, nothing.

Looks like the sea angling reps have been coerced by the ifca's to compose sea angling strategy's that the ifca's at some stage will look at drafting into legislation to manage the rsa, because they like wasting tax payers money. That's without asking the rsa btw. You know who you are..

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  • 4 weeks later...

I was in Safeway the other day when Bugs Bunny came to the cashier with
152 carrots in his trolley. Before the cashier had time to key it into her
calculator Bugs said, "There are 152 carrots, they are 25 cents each therefore
the cost will be $38.00".
The cashier was astounded and asked, "How did you work that out so quickly?"

Bugs replied, "If there is one thing that we rabbits are good at, it's multiplying'.

my mind not only wanders-- sometimes it leaves completely.

 

 

Updated 7/3/09

http://sites.google.com/site/pomfred/

 

 

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A driver is pulled over by a policeman. The policeman approaches the drivers door.


"Is there a problem, Officer?"


The policeman says, "Sir, you were speeding. Can I see your license please?"


The driver responds, "I'd give it to you but I don't have one."


"You don't have one?"


The man responds, "I lost it four times for drink driving."


The policeman is shocked. "I see. Can I see your vehicle registration papers please?"


"I'm sorry, I can't do that."


The policeman says, "Why not?"


"I stole this car."


The officer says, "Stole it?"


The man says, "Yes, and I killed the owner."


At this point the officer is getting irate. "You what?"


"She's in the boot if you want to see."


The Officer looks at the man and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes, five police cars show up, surrounding the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half-drawn gun.


The senior officer says, "Sir, could you step out of your vehicle please!"


The man steps out of his vehicle. "Is there a problem, sir?"


"One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner."


"Murdered the owner?"


The officer responds, "Yes, could you please open the boot of your car please?"


The man opens the boot, revealing nothing but an empty boot.


The officer says, "Is this your car sir?"


The man says, "Yes" and hands over the registration papers.


The officer, understandably, is quite stunned. "One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving licence."


The man digs in his pocket revealing a wallet and hands it to the officer. The officer opens the wallet and examines the licence. He looks quite puzzled. "Thank you, sir. One of my officers told me you didn't have a licence, stole this car, and murdered the owner."


The man replies, "I bet you the lying bastard told you I was speeding, too!"





















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The two best times to go fishing are when it's raining and when it's not

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  • 2 weeks later...

A genie came to me and asked, "What's your first wish?"

I answered, "I wish I was rich!"

Then the genie said, "What's your second wish, Rich?"

*****************************************

Did you know that "dammit i'm mad" spelled backwards is "dammit I'm mad"?

********************************************************

A young man, while bringing flowers to a cemetery, noticed an old Chinese man placing a bowl of rice on a nearby grave.

The young man walked up to the Chinese man and asked, "When do you expect your friend to come up and eat the rice?"

The old Chinese man replied with a smile, "Same time your friend comes up to smell the flowers."

***************************************************************************************

Did you hear about the guy that created the KNOCK KNOCK JOKE?

He won the NO-BELL prize.

my mind not only wanders-- sometimes it leaves completely.

 

 

Updated 7/3/09

http://sites.google.com/site/pomfred/

 

 

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The trouble with trouble is that it starts out as fun.

• One of the side benefits of forgetting names and faces. You keep meeting new people every day.

• I'm not one for buoyancy but whatever floats your boat.

• Young might be beautiful. But old is comfortable.

• Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy ice cream, and that's close enough.

• Pet-shop sign: "Please don't say 'no' until you look the puppy in the eye."

• Driving to a new restaurant, Jill took several wrong turns. When she finally found the right road, she asked her husband, "Why didn't you tell me I was lost?"
"I thought you knew where you were going," he replied. "You always know where you're going when I'm driving."

• There was a woman who sent ten different puns to friends, in the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

• My wife doesn't care what I do when I'm away. As long as I don't enjoy myself.

  • Like 1

my mind not only wanders-- sometimes it leaves completely.

 

 

Updated 7/3/09

http://sites.google.com/site/pomfred/

 

 

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