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I see him in a ten gallon hat

Believe NOTHING anyones says or writes unless you witness it yourself and even then your eyes can deceive you

None of this "the enemy of my enemy is my friend" crap it just means i have at least two enemies!

 

There is only one opinion i listen to ,its mine and its ALWAYS right even when its wrong

 

Its far easier to curse the darkness than light one candle

 

Mathew 4:19

Grangers law : anything i say will  turn out the opposite or not happen at all!

Life insurance? you wont enjoy a penny!

"To compel a man to furnish contributions of money for the propagation of opinions which he disbelieves and abhors, is sinful and tyrannical." Thomas Jefferson

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  • 3 weeks later...

Vet: I am really sorry, but your horse has cancer of the back"

"Sorry"?

"Oh!, it's a camel. Right. That's OK then"

Let's agree to respect each others views, no matter how wrong yours may be.

 

 

Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity

 

 

 

http://www.safetypublishing.co.uk/
http://www.safetypublishing.ie/

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All,

 

Reading Martin's posts got me to thinking this is a serious topic, worthy of sincere, thought provoking

polite, deep thinking, & of course, polite discussion. So, why do some people wear their hats on backwards

in situations where the hat won't be blown off, or indoors, except when wearing an arc welding mask?

Perhaps some possibilities?

1. Maybe they can't afford a full wide brim hat to protect their neck?

2. Maybe it is a culture related thing, like Rachael Dolezol , a white person wanting to be black?

3. Maybe they want to appear as though they are tough guys, like the picture of Paul Ryan?

4. Maybe because of peer pressure, from whatever "Group" they associate with?

5. Maybe they want to break into the music industry?

As for me, Chesters1 wins half the cupie doll. I do wear a broad brimmed hat. Because of my English heritage and stupidity I am very susceptible to skin cancer.

Or to some degree you could pick #1 - in which case Martin gets the other half of the doll.

Phone

(I'm having a slow day)

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  • 3 weeks later...

Clod’s ramblings reminds me of an old one.

 

My neighbour just phoned and asked me to help him round up his sheep.

 

I said “How many sheep have you got?”

 

He replied “397.”

 

I said “That’s easy, it’s 400!”

"My imaginary friend doesn't like your imaginary friend is no basis for armed conflict...."

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Huge_Vitae, on 30 Jul 2018 - 05:10, said:

Clod’s ramblings reminds me of an old one.

 

My neighbour just phoned and asked me to help him round up his sheep.

 

I said “How many sheep have you got?”

 

He replied “397.”

 

I said “That’s easy, it’s 400!”

 

 

Groan

my mind not only wanders-- sometimes it leaves completely.

 

 

Updated 7/3/09

http://sites.google.com/site/pomfred/

 

 

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Clod’s ramblings reminds me of an old one.

 

My neighbour just phoned and asked me to help him round up his sheep.

 

I said “How many sheep have you got?”

 

He replied “397.”

 

I said “That’s easy, it’s 400!”

Real life one, I was fishing in Northern New England, NSW on a private property and this bloke came up to me and told me to get off his property. As I walked away, he shouted out to me if I could help him to round up his pedigree heifers. He had left a gate open and they started to move onto the paddock I had been fishing in. I carried on, pretending not to hear his shouts...

ocker-anim.gifROO.gif

 

 

Cheers, Bobj.

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Real life one, I was fishing in Northern New England, NSW on a private property and this bloke came up to me and told me to get off his property. As I walked away, he shouted out to me if I could help him to round up his pedigree heifers. He had left a gate open and they started to move onto the paddock I had been fishing in. I carried on, pretending not to hear his shouts...

Corporal stood outside of the NAFFI enjoying a smoke, young Lt. walks up to him and says, Have you got a spare cigarette, I appear to have left my packet in the Mess?

 

Corporal replies, Yes mate.

 

Lt. hits the roof, who the hell you calling mate etc etc, then says lets try that again shall we, have you got a spare cigarette?

 

Corporal puts on his beret, snaps to attention and barks out, No I dont, SIR!

 

Third edit attempt to put in punctuation, seems the forum doesnt like my new iPad Air.

Edited by Huge_Vitae

"My imaginary friend doesn't like your imaginary friend is no basis for armed conflict...."

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Punctuation?

I dont do capitals ,you dont get fat pushing two buttons for one letter!

Edited by chesters1

Believe NOTHING anyones says or writes unless you witness it yourself and even then your eyes can deceive you

None of this "the enemy of my enemy is my friend" crap it just means i have at least two enemies!

 

There is only one opinion i listen to ,its mine and its ALWAYS right even when its wrong

 

Its far easier to curse the darkness than light one candle

 

Mathew 4:19

Grangers law : anything i say will  turn out the opposite or not happen at all!

Life insurance? you wont enjoy a penny!

"To compel a man to furnish contributions of money for the propagation of opinions which he disbelieves and abhors, is sinful and tyrannical." Thomas Jefferson

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All,

 

Just a friendly warning

If anyone comes to your door knocking and say they are checking for dangerous insects and ask you to take off all your close, hold your hands above your head then turn round and round.

 

DON'T FALL FOR IT - IT'S A SCAM

 

I feel really stupid right now

 

Phone

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Ponder on these imponderables for a minute:

 

1. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?

2. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

3. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

4. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

5. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

6. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

7. When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?

8. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racing car not called a racist?

9. Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?

10. Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?

11. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?

12. 'I am' is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that 'I do' is the longest sentence?

13. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

14. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered if Chinese mothers use toothpicks?

15. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the postmen can look for them while they deliver the post?
Korean
16. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

17. No one ever says, 'It's only a game' when their team is winning

18. Ever wonder about those people who spend two pound a piece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards:

19. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?

20. If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhoea, does that mean that one enjoys it?

21. Why if you send something by road it is called a shipment, but when you send it by sea it is called cargo?

ocker-anim.gifROO.gif

 

 

Cheers, Bobj.

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