Jump to content

Recommended Posts

  • Replies 2.3k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Posts

I ordered a Chinese meal last night. Chinese driver came to our door and I walked out to meet him. He started shouting "isolate" "isolate" I said you’re not that late, I only ordered 25 minutes ago!

Alex Salmond's colleagues decided it would be a worthy gesture to name a railway locomotive after him. So an official went to the National Railway Museum at York, to investigate the possibilities. "T

Posted Images

Phone

California, Arizona, New Mexico, and Texas border with Mexico. Alaska, Washington, Idaho, Montana, North Dakota, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Ohio, Pennsylvania, New York, Vermont and Maine share a border with Canada so perhaps there is still hope for you?

  • Haha 1

The problem isn't what people don't know, it's what they know that just ain't so.
Vaut mieux ne rien dire et passer pour un con que de parler et prouver que t'en est un!
Mi, ch’fais toudis à m’mote

Link to post
Share on other sites

No description available.

  • Haha 5

The problem isn't what people don't know, it's what they know that just ain't so.
Vaut mieux ne rien dire et passer pour un con que de parler et prouver que t'en est un!
Mi, ch’fais toudis à m’mote

Link to post
Share on other sites

all,

When one door closes and another door opens, you are probably in prison.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

To me, "drink responsibly" means don't spill it.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Age 60 might be the new 40, but 9:00 pm is the new midnight.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

When I say, "The other day," I could be referring to any time between yesterday and 15 years ago.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

I remember being able to get up without making sound effects.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

I had my patience tested. I'm negative.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Remember, if you lose a sock in the dryer, it comes back as a Tupperware lid that doesn't fit any of your containers.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

If you're sitting in public and a stranger takes the seat next to you, just stare straight ahead and say, "Did you bring the money?"

* * * * * * * * * * * *

When you ask me what I am doing today, and I say "nothing," it does not mean I am free. It means I am doing nothing.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

I finally got eight hours of sleep. It took me three days, but whatever.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

I run like the winded.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

I hate when a couple argues in public, and I missed the beginning and don't know whose side I'm on.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

When someone asks what I did over the weekend, I squint and ask, "Why, what did you hear?"

* * * * * * * * * * * *

When you do squats, are your knees supposed to sound like a goat chewing on an aluminum can stuffed with celery?

* * * * * * * * * * * *

I don't mean to interrupt people. I just randomly remember things and get really excited.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

When I ask for directions, please don't use words like "east."

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Don't bother walking a mile in my shoes. That would be boring. Spend 30 seconds in my head. That'll freak you right out.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

My luck is like a bald guy who just won a comb.

Phone

pinched from FB

  • Haha 4
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 2 weeks later...

Could maybe look at this Circumspect !!

Fishin' - "Best Fun Ya' can 'ave wi' Ya' Clothes On"!!

Link to post
Share on other sites
4 minutes ago, Martin56 said:

Could maybe look at this Circumspect !!

It's no skin off my nose!!

Fishin' - "Best Fun Ya' can 'ave wi' Ya' Clothes On"!!

Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×
×
  • Create New...