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HAVE A LAUGH


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On 11/1/2020 at 1:22 AM, Phone said:

CHESTERS1

TMI

phone

Theres never to much information

  • Like 1

Believe NOTHING anyones says or writes unless you witness it yourself and even then your eyes can deceive you

None of this "the enemy of my enemy is my friend" crap it just means i have at least two enemies!

 

There is only one opinion i listen to ,its mine and its ALWAYS right even when its wrong

 

Its far easier to curse the darkness than light one candle

 

Mathew 4:19

Grangers law : anything i say will  turn out the opposite or not happen at all!

Life insurance? you wont enjoy a penny!

"To compel a man to furnish contributions of money for the propagation of opinions which he disbelieves and abhors, is sinful and tyrannical." Thomas Jefferson

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  • 2 weeks later...
3 hours ago, ayjay said:

recycling.jpg.df321552b4a149cec9041abf980bf58d.jpg

To perfect it the containers should be full of water !

Believe NOTHING anyones says or writes unless you witness it yourself and even then your eyes can deceive you

None of this "the enemy of my enemy is my friend" crap it just means i have at least two enemies!

 

There is only one opinion i listen to ,its mine and its ALWAYS right even when its wrong

 

Its far easier to curse the darkness than light one candle

 

Mathew 4:19

Grangers law : anything i say will  turn out the opposite or not happen at all!

Life insurance? you wont enjoy a penny!

"To compel a man to furnish contributions of money for the propagation of opinions which he disbelieves and abhors, is sinful and tyrannical." Thomas Jefferson

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  • 3 weeks later...

I was naked when I met the postman at the front door this morning. I don't know what surprised him most, that I was naked, or that I knew where he lived.

I've been told that a good way of letting go of your anger towards other people is to write letters to those you hate and then burn them. I've done that, but do I have to keep the letters?

After finding 5 Mars, 3 Snickers, a Galaxy and a Twix in this Celebrations box, I'm starting to think I'm not cut out to be a Bounty hunter.

Boss: "This is the third time you have been late for work this week. You know what this means, don't you?
Me : "It's Wednesday?"

Have you been hit with a rhythm stick?
You may be entitled to personal Ian Dury compensation.

I just got kicked out of a Flat Earth Facebook group....
I asked if the 2.0m social distancing had pushed anyone over the edge yet.

I went for a vasectomy yesterday because my wife and I decided we didn’t want to have kids.
It was unsuccessful though - when I got home, they were still there.

I've been using Google to search for, 'lost medieval servant boy', but all I get is, 'Page not Found'.

I had to go back to the Doctor today.
I said, "I applied the haemorrhoid cream that you gave me yesterday and I got a very nasty reaction."
"Where did you apply it?", he asked.
I said, "On the bus."

 

Earlier today I was at our local library and asked the librarian if they had a book about Pavlov's dog and Schrodinger's cat.
The librarian said it rang a bell, but wasn't sure if it was there or not.

 


 

 


 

 

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