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HAVE A LAUGH


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Your on a horse, galloping away at speed . On your right is a sharp drop, on your left is an elephant travelling at the same speed as you . Directly in front of you is a kangaroo & your horse is unable to overtake it . Behind you is a lion chasing you . What must you do to get yourself safely out of this highly dangerous situation ?

 

 

 

 

GET YOUR DRUNK A** OF THE MERRY GO ROUND & ACT YOUR BLOODY AGE :D

The more i practice the luckier i get :)

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A woman brings eight-year-old Johnny home and tells his mother that he was caught playing doctors and nurses with Mary, her eight-year-old daughter.

Johnny's mother says, "Let's not be too harsh on them.... they are bound to be curious about sex at that age."

"Curious about sex?" replies Mary's mother. "He's taken her appendix out!"

"Some people hear their inner voices with such clarity that they live by what they hear, such people go crazy, but they become legends"
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A woman brings eight-year-old Johnny home and tells his mother that he was caught playing doctors and nurses with Mary, her eight-year-old daughter.

Johnny's mother says, "Let's not be too harsh on them.... they are bound to be curious about sex at that age."

"Curious about sex?" replies Mary's mother. "He's taken her appendix out!"

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: nice one Emma very good

The more i practice the luckier i get :)

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A marrage guidance counsellor to couple:"tell me somthing both of you have in common?"

 

Husband after a long awkward silence: "well neither of us s&*ks C#@kS!"

_________________

Someone once said to me "Dont worry It could be worse." So I didn't, and It was!

 

 

 

 

انا آكل كل الفطائر

 

I made a vow today, to never again argue with an Idiot they have more expieriance at it than I so I always seem to lose!

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A marrage guidance counsellor to couple:"tell me somthing both of you have in common?"

 

Husband after a long awkward silence: "well neither of us s&*ks C#@kS!"

_________________

Lmfao :D :D :D :D :D

The more i practice the luckier i get :)

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A marrage guidance counsellor to couple:"tell me somthing both of you have in common?"

 

Husband after a long awkward silence: "well neither of us s&*ks C#@kS!"

_________________

 

Wonderfull :D

Edited by Emma two
"Some people hear their inner voices with such clarity that they live by what they hear, such people go crazy, but they become legends"
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Four guys and a woman are stuck in an elevator.

 

While they are stuck, they strike up a conversation.

 

The first guy says, "I'm a Y.U.P.P.I.E. , you know... ''Young, Urban,

Professional, Peaceful, Intelligent, Ecologist.''

 

The second guy says, "I'm a D.I.N.K.Y., you know...

''Double Income, No Kids Yet. "

 

The third guy says, "I'm a R.U.B., you know...

''Rich, Urban, Biker. "

 

The fourth guy says, I am a D.I.L.D.O., you know...

''Double Income, Little Dog Owner.''

 

They turn to the woman and ask her.

 

''What are you?''

 

She replies: "I'm a WIFE, you know...

Wash, Iron, Fu ck, Etc.''

Edited by Emma two
"Some people hear their inner voices with such clarity that they live by what they hear, such people go crazy, but they become legends"
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A fellow went to see the nurse for his annual check-up.

She said he had had to stop wa nking!

When he asked why she said,

 

"Because I'm trying to examine you!"

Edited by Emma two
"Some people hear their inner voices with such clarity that they live by what they hear, such people go crazy, but they become legends"
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A fellow went to see the nurse for his annual check-up.

She said he had had to stop wa nking!

When he asked why she said,

 

"Because I'm trying to examine you!"

:bigemo_harabe_net-163:

Let's agree to respect each others views, no matter how wrong yours may be.

 

 

Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity

 

 

 

http://www.safetypublishing.co.uk/
http://www.safetypublishing.ie/

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What's the definition of the bravest man in the world?

 

A man who comes home drunk at 3am covered in lipstick and stinking of perfume, then slaps his wife on the backside and says

"your next Fatty"

Let's agree to respect each others views, no matter how wrong yours may be.

 

 

Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity

 

 

 

http://www.safetypublishing.co.uk/
http://www.safetypublishing.ie/

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