woodpeckers

[Clifftop]

A Hawaii woodpecker and a California woodpecker were arguing about which place had the toughest trees. The Hawaii woodpecker said Hawaii had a tree that no woodpecker could peck. The California woodpecker accepted his

challenge, and promptly pecked a hole in the tree with no problem. The Hawaiian woodpecker was in awe.

The California woodpecker then challenged the Hawaiian woodpecker to peck a tree in California that was absolutely unpeckable. The Hawaiian woodpecker expressed confidence he could do it, so accepted the challenge.

After flying to California, the Hawaii woodpecker successfully pecked the tree with no problem.

So the two woodpeckers were now confused. How is it that the Californian woodpecker was able to peck the Hawaiian tree and the Hawaiian woodpecker was able to peck the Californian tree, but neither one was able to peck

the tree in their own state?

After much woodpecker-pondering, they both came to the same conclusion -

your pecker is always harder when you're away from home.

[John S]

 

A birch tree and a beech tree growing nearby each other one day noticed a sapling growing between them. They couldn't decide whether it was a son of a birch, or a son of a beech, so asked a passing woodpecker to taste it and tell them. The woodpecker went down to the sapling and had a good peck at it.

 

"Well." the woodpecker said, "It isn't a son of a birch, and it isn't a son of a beech. But I'll tell you this, it's the best bit of ash I've ever stuck my pecker in!"

[adambroadley]

hahaha i love jokes!!! both of them cracked me up i am gonna put some jokes on it aswel.

[adambroadley]

Two women friends had gone out for a Girls Night Out, and had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the cocktails. Incredibly drunk and walking home they suddenly realized they both needed to pee. They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a headstone or something. The first woman had nothing to wipe with so she took off her panties, used them and threw them away. Her friend however was wearing an expensive underwear set and didn't want to ruin hers, but was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on a grave and proceeded to wipe herself with it. After finishing, they made their way home.

 

The next day the first woman's husband phones the other husband and said, "These damn girls nights out have got to stop. My wife came home last night without her panties." "That's nothing," said the other. "Mine came back with a sympathy card stuck between the cheeks of her butt that said, 'From all of us at the Fire Station, Well never forget you!'

[adambroadley]

little boy : mummy is god a girl or a boy?

 

mummy: why god is both girl and boy

 

little boy: mummy is god black or white?

 

mummy: why god is both black and white

 

little boy: mummy is god gay or strait?

 

mummy: why god is both gay and strait

 

little boy: mummy is god Michael Jackson?