Being British

[Yogi]

Being British is about driving a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgium beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian / Chinese curry or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch an American show on a Japanese TV.

 

Only in Britian can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

 

Supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back to get their prescription, while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

 

People order double cheeseburger, large fries and a diet coke.

 

Banks leave both doors open and chain their pens to the counter.

 

We leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and lock away crappy lawnmowers and junk.

 

Three people die each year to see if a battery works by putting it on their tongue.

 

31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree with the lights still plugged in.

 

18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.

 

A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after opening beer bottles with their teeth.

 

And finally - In 2000 8 Brits cracked their skull whilst throwing up in the toilet.

 

Yogi

[Tony U]

Makes you proud doesn't it.

[Yogi]

At any one time, 0.7% of the worlds population is drunk!

 

At least 10 people are killed by vending machines every year!

 

Taking into account the weight differences, Men are proportionately stronger than horses!

 

Pain Travels through your body at 350 feet per second!!!

 

During the female orgasm, endorphines are released, which are powerful painkillers. So headaches are in fact a bad excuse not to have sex.

 

Yogi

[Newt]

During the female orgasm, endorphines are released, which are powerful painkillers. So headaches are in fact a bad excuse not to have sex.

 

Yup. It's not like the guy is gonna take a long time with foreplay to prolong the headache. OTOH, if the guy normally can't help her reach orgasm, that could be considered a good reason not to have sex when she has a headache. None of those nice endorphines in that case.

 

"Oh Fred, I have a terrible headache so not tonight unless you can call Ralph and have him over to take care of me."

[Clifftop]

Yup. It's not like the guy is gonna take a long time with foreplay to prolong the headache. OTOH, if the guy normally can't help her reach orgasm, that could be considered a good reason not to have sex when she has a headache. None of those nice endorphines in that case.

 

"Oh Fred, I have a terrible headache so not tonight unless you can call Ralph and have him over to take care of me."

 

 

Newt, i dont know anybody called Ralph.