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NO PARENT LEFT BEHIND

Newt

By Newt
in Non-Fishing Chat

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Newt Member

Newt

Posted
Posted

NO PARENT LEFT BEHIND....

 

I promise you cannot read these and not laugh out loud.

These are real notes written by parents in an ALABAMA school district.

{note: Jan & I are moving to Alabama but only because all our children have finished school}

Spellings have been left intact.

 

1. My son is under a doctor's care and should not take PE today. Please execute him.

 

2. Please exkuce lisa for being absent she was sick and i had her shot.

 

3. Dear school: please ecsc's john being absent on jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 and also 33.

 

4. Please excuse gloria from jim today. She is administrating.

 

5. Please excuse roland from p.e. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.

 

6. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.

 

7. Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.

 

8. Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.

 

9. Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.

 

10. Please excuse ray friday from school. He has very loose vowels.

 

11. Please excuse Lesli from being absent yesterday. She had diahre dyrea direathe the shits.

 

12. Please excuse tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea, and his boots leak.

 

13. Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.

 

14. Please excuse jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.

 

15. I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because i don't know what size she wear.

 

16. Please excuse jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it monday. We thought it was sunday.

 

17. Sally won't be in school a week from friday. We have to attend her funeral.

 

18. My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the marines.

 

19. Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.

 

20. Please excuse mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.

 

21. Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.

 

22. Please excuse brenda. She has been sick and under the doctor.

 

23. Maryann was absent december 11-16, because she had a fever, sorethroat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever an sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.

 

Now we know why parents are screaming for better education for our kids

" My choices in life were either to be a piano player in a whore house or a politician. And to tell the truth, there's hardly any difference!" - Harry Truman, 33rd US President

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medwaygreen Member

medwaygreen

Posted
Posted

Newt very funny, i got to number three before the laugh out loud happened. :D

Fishing seems to be my favorite form of loafing.

 

"Even a bad day of fishing is better than a good day of work."

 

I know the joy of fishes in the river through my own joy, as I go walking along the same river.

 

What do you think if the float does not dip, try again I think.

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John S Member

John S

Posted
Posted

Very funny :lol:

 

Posted onto another forum now ;)

John S

Quanti Canicula Ille In Fenestra

 

Species caught in 2017 Common Ash, Hawthorn, Hazel, Scots Pine, White Willow.

Species caught in 2016: Alder, Blackthorn, Common Ash, Crab Apple, Left Earlobe, Pedunculate Oak, Rock Whitebeam, Scots Pine, Smooth-leaved Elm, Swan, Wayfaring tree.

Species caught in 2015: Ash, Bird Cherry, Black-Headed Gull, Common Hazel, Common Whitebeam, Elder, Field Maple, Gorse, Puma, Sessile Oak, White Willow.

Species caught in 2014: Big Angry Man's Ear, Blackthorn, Common Ash, Common Whitebeam, Downy Birch, European Beech, European Holly, Hawthorn, Hazel, Scots Pine, Wych Elm.
Species caught in 2013: Beech, Elder, Hawthorn, Oak, Right Earlobe, Scots Pine.

Species caught in 2012: Ash, Aspen, Beech, Big Nasty Stinging Nettle, Birch, Copper Beech, Grey Willow, Holly, Hazel, Oak, Wasp Nest (that was a really bad day), White Poplar.
Species caught in 2011: Blackthorn, Crab Apple, Elder, Fir, Hawthorn, Horse Chestnut, Oak, Passing Dog, Rowan, Sycamore, Willow.
Species caught in 2010: Ash, Beech, Birch, Elder, Elm, Gorse, Mullberry, Oak, Poplar, Rowan, Sloe, Willow, Yew.

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Vagabond Member

Vagabond

Posted
Posted

:lol::lol::lol:

Loved No 16

 

There was a parent in rural Sussex who responded to a school report as follows

 

"Dear teecher, it was not rite for yo to call our mary illiterate, she is no more illitrate than yo, cos we was maried in the March an she were born in the May"

 

 

RNLI Governor

 

World species 471 : UK species 105 : English species 95 .

Certhia's world species - 215

Eclectic "husband and wife combined" world species 501

 

"Nothing matters very much, few things matter at all" - Plato

...only things like fresh bait and cold beer...

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corydoras Member

corydoras

Posted
Posted (edited)

#11, #12 & #16 :bigemo_harabe_net-163:

Edited by corydoras

The problem isn't what people don't know, it's what they know that just ain't so.
Vaut mieux ne rien dire et passer pour un con que de parler et prouver que t'en est un!
Mi, ch’fais toudis à m’mote

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corydoras Member

corydoras

Posted
Posted
Sorry Newt, I can't work out what is American spelling and what is badly spelled English :(

 

;)

:lol:;)

The problem isn't what people don't know, it's what they know that just ain't so.
Vaut mieux ne rien dire et passer pour un con que de parler et prouver que t'en est un!
Mi, ch’fais toudis à m’mote

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Guest Jan V

Guest Jan V

Posted
Posted
Sorry Newt, I can't work out what is American spelling and what is badly spelled English :(

 

;)

We spell just fine, Leon, it's the rest of the world that has problems..... :rolleyes::P

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