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chesters1

the best ever amazon review?

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Just read this! Brilliant

 

"Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 5 September 2019

Size: 180 x 290 + 10 cmColour: Dark GreyVerified Purchase
We've all heard of the Dutch Oven. You're lying in bed, you fart, you lift the blanket over your partner's head and they ingest your produce. It's a classic. But sometimes the classics can become stale and you need to spice things up. Enter: shell. With shell, the preparation is the same; you're lying in bed, you fart (SILENTLY, THIS IS KEY), you give it a few seconds to seep out of any clothing you might be wearing, and then you CLIMB ON TOP of your partner as if you're initiating coitus, you pull the sheets over BOTH OF YOUR HEADS and let the dirt shower over you both. They're going to struggle, but you have the advantage as you're on top. You can use your body weight to essentially paralyse them from the waist down and, while your hands are gripping the sheet, you can use your elbows or upper-arm strength to hold their arms down. The benefits of Shell over a Dutch Oven include; seeing your partner's face while they ingest your produce, ingesting your own produce, and crucially - your partner is likely to be impressed with your strength and innovation so you're probably going to get laid. I know what you're thinking: "how does this relate to this sheet?" well, this sheet is PERFECT for shell. It's light, so it's not too obvious that you're initiating shell, it's not too thick, so you can see their face more clearly as they writhe around trying to escape, it's cheap, so it won't feel so wasteful when you eventually have to throw it out because of the PTSD that your partner experiences when seeing it. Perfect Shell sheet. Five stars. "

Believe NOTHING anyones says or writes unless you witness it yourself and even then your eyes can deceive you

 

There is only one opinion i listen to ,its mine and its ALWAYS right even when its wrong

 

Its far easier to curse the darkness than light one candle

 

Mathew 4:19

Grangers law : anything i say will  turn out the opposite or not happen at all!

 

"To compel a man to furnish contributions of money for the propagation of opinions which he disbelieves and abhors, is sinful and tyrannical." Thomas Jefferson

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Quote

WTF!

 


The problem isn't what people don't know, it's what they know that just ain't so.
Vaut mieux ne rien dire et passer pour un con que de parler et prouver que t'en est un!
Mi, ch’fais toudis à m’mote

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2 minutes ago, corydoras said:

 

Its a review about a bedsheet

  • Like 1

Believe NOTHING anyones says or writes unless you witness it yourself and even then your eyes can deceive you

 

There is only one opinion i listen to ,its mine and its ALWAYS right even when its wrong

 

Its far easier to curse the darkness than light one candle

 

Mathew 4:19

Grangers law : anything i say will  turn out the opposite or not happen at all!

 

"To compel a man to furnish contributions of money for the propagation of opinions which he disbelieves and abhors, is sinful and tyrannical." Thomas Jefferson

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I guessed that bit.

 


The problem isn't what people don't know, it's what they know that just ain't so.
Vaut mieux ne rien dire et passer pour un con que de parler et prouver que t'en est un!
Mi, ch’fais toudis à m’mote

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Alas there will be no more reviews from this poster as Harvey Weinstein can't access his Amazon account any more.

Veet for men reviews always used to be worth a gander.


Species caught in 2019: Pike. Bream. Tench. Chub. Common Carp. European Eel. Barbel. Bleak. Dace.

Species caught in 2018: Perch. Bream. Rainbow Trout. Brown Trout. Chub. Roach. Carp. European Eel.

Species caught in 2017: Siamese carp. Striped catfish. Rohu. Mekong catfish. Amazon red tail catfish. Arapaima. Black Minnow Shark. Perch. Chub. Brown Trout. Pike. Bream. Roach. Rudd. Bleak. Common Carp.

Species caught in 2016: Siamese carp. Jullien's golden carp. Striped catfish. Mekong catfish. Amazon red tail catfish. Arapaima. Alligator gar. Rohu. Black Minnow Shark. Roach, Bream, Perch, Ballan Wrasse. Rudd. Common Carp. Pike. Zander. Chub. Bleak.

Species caught in 2015: Brown Trout. Roach. Bream. Terrapin. Eel. Barbel. Pike. Chub.

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Posted (edited)

As mr wienstein is still probably rich i am sure a flunky will already have made a shiny new amazon account aswell as a facebook and twitter one ,jail doesnt stop the casting couch it just makes it less worth owning .

He is most probably in a new move..y as in how do i pick up the soap in the communal shower safely with a couple of heavily tattooed men in the bleeding role

Edited by chesters1

Believe NOTHING anyones says or writes unless you witness it yourself and even then your eyes can deceive you

 

There is only one opinion i listen to ,its mine and its ALWAYS right even when its wrong

 

Its far easier to curse the darkness than light one candle

 

Mathew 4:19

Grangers law : anything i say will  turn out the opposite or not happen at all!

 

"To compel a man to furnish contributions of money for the propagation of opinions which he disbelieves and abhors, is sinful and tyrannical." Thomas Jefferson

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Posted (edited)
4 hours ago, corydoras said:

I guessed that bit.

 

I was trying to quote the WTF part thinking it being mentioned more than once you eventualy got what it was and quoted WTF from an invisible poster lol or perhaps you quoted yourself instead of deleting it after realising ,i am old my head hurts now i realise you quoted from a ghost😨

Its a shame you cant quote a quote it could stop people rewriting a post to make it different ,i once changed a picture in one of Dens post long ago then had to remame mine so it didnt overwrite his !

If i remember it was a picture of two blokes fishing in a punt ,i cleverly photoshopped it putting in a few bits and bobs and posted it not realising i used the same file name and changed his original picture to mine !

Edited by chesters1

Believe NOTHING anyones says or writes unless you witness it yourself and even then your eyes can deceive you

 

There is only one opinion i listen to ,its mine and its ALWAYS right even when its wrong

 

Its far easier to curse the darkness than light one candle

 

Mathew 4:19

Grangers law : anything i say will  turn out the opposite or not happen at all!

 

"To compel a man to furnish contributions of money for the propagation of opinions which he disbelieves and abhors, is sinful and tyrannical." Thomas Jefferson

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:D:D:D


 

 

Eat right, stay fit, die anyway.

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ALL, 

Side bar - mr wienstein is quarantined  in isolation with COVID-19

Phone

 

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Posted (edited)

Blimey, you can catch it anally now! Obviously the soap didnt work

Edited by chesters1
  • Haha 2

Believe NOTHING anyones says or writes unless you witness it yourself and even then your eyes can deceive you

 

There is only one opinion i listen to ,its mine and its ALWAYS right even when its wrong

 

Its far easier to curse the darkness than light one candle

 

Mathew 4:19

Grangers law : anything i say will  turn out the opposite or not happen at all!

 

"To compel a man to furnish contributions of money for the propagation of opinions which he disbelieves and abhors, is sinful and tyrannical." Thomas Jefferson

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