You don't stutter do you?

[Guest Simon Newbould]

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman go into a pub. They all suffer from a severe stutter. "What's it to be?" asks the stunningly beautiful landlady. "Th th th th th th three pi pi pi pi pi..." says the Englishman. Up steps the Irishman. "Threeee p pints of of of of gui gui gui gui..." Then the Scotsman tries."Th th th thth th th th th th th th th th..." "Oh bugger this!" says the beautiful landlady and walks away to serve someone else.

 

She returns ten minutes later and asks if they are ready to order yet. "Th th th th th th three pi pi pi pi pi…", stutters the Englishman. "Three pints of gui gui gui gui..." tries Paddy. And then Scotty starts "Th th th th th th th th th th th th th th ththth..."

 

"Look" says the beautiful landlady, who loves a bet, "If any one of you can answer a question without stuttering I'll let you shag me!" Quite confident that no one will win, she turns to the Englishman. "Where do you live?" "M M M M M M M Man Man Man Man Manch Manch Manch…" "No. You lose." says the beautiful landlady. Turning to the Scotsman, she asks, "Where do you live Scotty?", trying not to laugh. "E E E E EEd Ed Ed Edin Edin Edin Edin Edin Edin Edinb…" "Sorry, you lose." says the gorgeous woman. "And Paddy, where do you live?" she purrs at the Irishman. "London" blurts out the Irishman.

 

"Oh Bugger!" says the landlady. A great cheer goes up in the pub and the landlady reluctantly takes him by the hand and leads him upstairs. Once in the bedroom she strips to her underwear, next she takes off her bra exposing a voluptous bosom. Finally she slides off her panties then climbs into bed. Paddy with concentration climbs aboard and goes for glory, and then, right at the climaxing stroke, he suddenly screams out...

 

"... D D Derry!!"

[Guest Newt]

LOL

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A guy walks into the doctor's office and says, "Ddddoc, I've bbeen stttutering ffor yyyears and IIII'm tttired of it. Cccan yyyou hehehelp me?"

 

The doctor says, "Well, I'll have to examine you to see what's going on." So he examines him and says, "Well I think I know what the problem is.

 

The guy says, "Wwwell wwwhat is it, ddoc?"

 

The doctor says, "Well, it's your penis, it's about a foot long and all the down pressure is putting strain on your vocal cords."

 

The guy says, "Wwwat cccan we ddo?"

 

The doctor advises, "Well, I can cut it off and transplant a shorter one."

 

The guy says, "Dddo it!"

 

The guy has the operation and three weeks later, he comes back into the doctor's office and says, "Doc, you solved the problem and I don't stutter anymore, but I've only had sex once in the past three weeks. My wife doesn't like it anymore. She liked it with my long one. I don't care if I have to stutter, I want you to put my long one back on."

 

The doctor says, "Nnnnope. A ddddeal's a ddddeal!!!"

 

 

 

[This message has been edited by Newt (edited 16 January 2002).]

[Guest Simon Newbould]

ggg ggggood one N N NNNewt