Signs

[Guest Newt]

These are actual signs found in stores in the US.

 

Plumber:

"We repair what your husband fixed."

 

Pizza shop slogan:

"7 days without pizza makes one weak."

 

At a tire shop in Milwaukee:

"Invite us to your next blowout."

 

Door of a plastic surgeons office:

"Hello, can we pick your nose?"

 

Sign at the psychic's hotline:

"Don't call us, we'll call you."

 

At a laundry shop:

"How about we refund your money, send you a new one at no charge, close the store and have the manager shot. Would that be satisfactory?"

 

At a towing company:

"We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."

 

Billboard on the side of the road:

"Keep your eyes on the road and stop reading these signs."

 

On an electricians truck:

"Let us remove your shorts."

 

In a nonsmoking area:

"If we see smoke we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."

 

On maternity room door:

"Push, Push, Push."

 

At an optometrists office

"If you don't see what you're looking for you've come to the right place."

 

On a taxidermist's window:

"We really know our stuff."

 

In a Podiatrist's office:

"Time wounds all heels."

 

On a Butchers window:

"Let me meat your needs."

 

On a fence:

"Salesmen welcome, dog food is expensive."

 

At a car dealership:

"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."

 

Outside a muffler shop:

"No appointment necessary, we hear you coming."

 

Outside a hotel:

"Help! We need inn-experienced people."

 

On a desk in a reception room:

"We shoot every 3rd salesman , and the 2nd one just left."

 

In a veterinarians waiting room:

"Be back in 5 minutes, Sit ! Stay!"

 

At the electric company:

"We would be de-lighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don't you will be."

 

On the door of a computer store:

"Out for a quick byte."

 

In a restaurant window:

"Don't stand there and be hungry, come on in and get fed up."

 

Inside a bowling alley:

"Please be quiet, we need to hear a pin drop."

 

In the front yard of a funeral home:

"Drive carefully, we'll wait."

 

In a counselors office:

"Growing old is mandatory, growing wise is optional.

[Guest gray-catchpole]

exelent newt

get pal talk, so you can join us in a live chat, im sure you will enjoy it

see the pal talk post for details

 

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gray-catchpole

 

 

 

http://catchpole.cjb.net

mailto:catchpole@go-fishing.co.ukcatchpole@go-fishing.co.uk

[Guest Steve Randles]

Seen at a local signmakers...

 

NOTICE

If you notice this notice,

You will notice that this

notice is not worth

noticing.

 

 

 

 

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Tight Lines

 

Steve Randles

[Guest gray-catchpole]

steve

i expect better of you mate, thats only six hundred years old

 

check out my latest post, and see if you can make sense of that