Little Billy Jokes

[HOPPY4]

LITTLE BILLY

 

LITTLE BILLY ON ...GETTING OLDER

Little BILLY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after

another. After the 6th one, a man on the bench across from him said, "Son,

you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne,

rot your teeth, and make you fat."

Little BILLY replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."

"Oh?" replied the man. "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?"

"No" replied Little Billy, "he minded his own f---ing business!!"

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LITTLE BILLY ON...PHILOSOPHY

A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and

you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on little BILLY.

He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot."

The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking."

Then little BILLY says, "I have a question for YOU. There are 3 womens

sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides

of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and

sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which

one is married?"

The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies, "Well, I suppose the one

that's gobbled down the top and sucked the one."

To which Little BILLY replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with the

wedding ring on', but I like your thinking."

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LITTLE BILLY ON... MATH:

Little BILLY returns home from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.

"Why?" asks the father."

"The teacher asked, 'How much is 2x3?' I said 6," replied BILLY.

"But that's right!" says his dad.

"Yeah, but then she asked me, 'How much is 3x2?'" "What's the f---ing

difference? " asks the father. "That's what I said!"

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LITTLE BILLY ON...ENGLISH:

Little BILLY goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to

learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a

multi-syllable word?"

BILLY says "Mas-tur-bate."

Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little BILLY, that's a mouthful."

Little BILLY says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."

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LITTLE BILLY ON...GRAMMAR:

One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show

of hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same

sentence

twice. First she called on little Suzie, who responded with,

"My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in

it."

"Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher. She then called on little

Michael.

"My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully."

The teacher responded, "Excellent, Michael!" Then, she reluctantly called

on little BILLY.

"Last night, at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was

pregnant, and he said "Beautiful, just f---ing beautiful!"

 

Little Billy and Johnny jokes have been around for many years in the USA. What are some of the other nationalities favorite jokes and riddles?