No Culture in the US??

[Guest Newt]

Just in case you think that we in the US have no culture, here is a little poem that should change your mind. I put an actual word in [] where there might be confusion.

 

"Redneck Love Poem"

 

Collards are green,

my dog's name is Blue

and I'm so lucky

to have a sweet thang like you.

 

Yore hair is like cornsilk

a-flappin in the breeze.

Softer than Blue's

and without all them fleas.

 

You move like the bass,

which excite me in May.

You ain't got no scales

but I luv you anyway.

 

Yore as satisfy'n as okry [Okra]

jist a-fry'n in the pan.

Yore as fragrant as "snuff"

right out of the can.

 

You have some'a yore teeth

for which I am proud.

I hold my head high

when we're in a crowd.

 

On special occasions,

when you shave under yore arms,

well, I'm in hawg heaven [Hog]

and awed by yore charms.

 

Still them fellers at work,

they all want to know,

what I did to deserve

such a purdy, young doe. [Pretty]

 

Like a good roll of duct tape

yore there fer yore man,

to patch up life's troubles

and fix what you can.

 

Yore as cute as a junebug

a-buzzin' overhead.

You ain't mean like those far ants [Fire]

I found in my bed.

 

Cut from the best cloth

like a plaid flannel shirt,

you spark up my life

more than a fresh load of dirt.

 

When you hold me real tight

like a padded gunrack,

my life is complete.

Ain't nuttin' I lack.

 

Yore complexion, it's perfection,

like the best vinyl sidin'

despite all the years,

yore age, it keeps hidin'.

 

Me "n" you's like a moon pie

with a RC cold drank,

we go together

like a skunk goes with stank.

 

Some men, they buy chocolate

for a Valentine's Day,

they git it at Wal-Mart,

it's romantic that way.

 

Some men git roses

on that special day

from the cooler at Krogers,

that's impressive, I say.

 

Some men buy fine diamonds

from a flea market booth.

"Diamonds are forever",

they explain, suave and couth.

 

But for this man, honey,

these won't do.

Cause yore too special,

you sweet thang you.

 

I got you a gift,

without taste nor odor,

more useful than diamonds....

IT'S A NEW TROLL'N MOTOR

--

[Guest gray-catchpole]

he he very good newt

 

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gray-catchpole

 

 

 

http://catchpole.cjb.net

mailto:catchpole@go-fishing.co.ukcatchpole@go-fishing.co.uk

[Guest Manayunk_Jake]

Came close to choking on my chaw reading that there pome... but why the translations, Newt? I spend half my time lookin' up meanings for bivvy, boilie, ledger, etc... Heck, its not OUR fault these folks don't speak American! (By the way, is a WHACKER really what I think it is? No wonder they gots to wear them bivvy slippers...)

[Guest Steve Randles]

Who are you calling a Whacker

 

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Tight Lines

 

Steve Randles

[Guest Elton]

Originally posted by Manayunk_Jake:

Came close to choking on my chaw reading that there pome... but why the translations, Newt?  I spend half my time lookin' up meanings for bivvy, boilie, ledger, etc... Heck, its not OUR fault these folks don't speak American! (By the way, is a WHACKER really what I think it is? No wonder they gots to wear them bivvy slippers...)

 

I had just watched "Beavis & Butthead Do America" and chuckled at the constant references by the old guy to catching them "whacking in my camper" when I picked up a copy of a UK weekly mag and saw a section entitled "This Week's Whackers"

 

Elton "schoolboy humour" Murphy

[Guest Graham E]

This wacking is no good fella's.

Lets have a family reunion and get us some real gals!

[Guest Roy Meincken]

Hey what's the difference between the good ole US of A and a pot of yoghurt?

 

A) One's got a living, thriving culture...

 

Love to y'all!!!

R

 

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[Guest DCB]

Newt

Thanks a million.

Goes ta prove that the spirit of fishing lives.

Good start to the New Year for me.

David

[Guest ALAN FAWCETT]

oy Elton glad to see you've got good taste in comedy!!Newt is it true the easyist way to circumcise a hilbilly is to kick his sister in the jaw????

 

 

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ALAN (the trogg) F

[Guest Manayunk_Jake]

Aw C'mon now... you guys has got to have better Hillbilly jokes than those there... not enough flame in those ol' jokes to fire up the stil for more than a couple of three seconds! **Manayunk Jake**