Joke.

[Slashley]

Brother just sent this from Oz. Thought it was quite funny..................>Subject: Making a Baby

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>

>

>The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a

>surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy

>father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said,

>"Well, I'm off now The man should be here soon."

>

>Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer

>happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.

>

>"Good morning, Ma'am", he said, "I've come to...''

>

>"Oh, no need to explain," Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, "I've been

>expecting you."

>

>"Have you really?" said the photographer. "Well, that's good. Did you

>know babies are my specialty?"

>

>"Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have

>a seat"

>

>After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?"

>

>"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the

>couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room

>floor is fun. You can really spread out there."

>

>"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry

>and me!"

>

>"Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if

>we try several different positions and I shoot from six

>or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."

>

>"My, that's a lot!" gasped Mrs. Smith.

>

>"Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be

>in and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with

>that."

>

>"Don't I know it," said Mrs. Smith quietly.

>

>The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of

>his baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus," he said.

>

>"Oh my God!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.

>

>"And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider

>their mother was so difficult to work with."

>

>"She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith.

>

>"Yes, I'm afraid so I finally had to take her to the park to get the

>job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get

>a good look."

>

>"Four and five deep?" said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.

>

>"Yes", the photographer replied. "And for more than three hours, too.

>The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly

>concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots.

>Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had

> to pack it all in."

>

>Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "Do you mean they actually chewed on your,

>um..equipment?"

>

>"It's true, Ma'am, yes. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod

>and we can get to work right away."

>

>"Tripod?"

>

>"Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much

>too big to be held in the hand very long."

>

>Mrs. Smith fainted.

>

>

Edited March 23, 2006 by Slashley

[DoubleShotDamo]

Superb!!