The Jar

[severus]

Guy walks into a bar, notices a very large jar on the counter, and sees it's filled to the brim with $10 bills. He guesses there must be thousands of dollars in it. So he approaches the bartender and asks. "What's up with the jar? "Well, you pay $10 and if you pass three tests, you get all the money." The man certainly isn't going to pass this up. "What are the three tests?" "Pay first, those are the rules." says the bartender. So the man gives him the $10 and the bartender drops it into the jar.

 

"OK," the bartender says, leaning over the bar. "Here's what you need to do: First , You have to drink that entire gallon of pepper tequila, the whole thing, all at once... and you can't make a face while doing it. Second, There's a pit bull chained up out back with a sore tooth. You have to remove the tooth with your bare hands. Third. There's a 90 year old woman upstairs who has never reached orgasm during intercourse. You've gotta make things right for her."

 

The man is stunned. "I know I paid my $10, but I'm not an idiot, I won't do it! You would have to be nuts to drink a gallon of pepper tequila, and then do those other things..." "Your call," says the bartender, "but your money stays where it is."

 

As time goes on and the man has a few drinks, then a few more, he asks, "Wherez zat tequila?" He grabs the gallon with both hands and downs it with a big slurp. Tears streaming down both cheeks, but he doesn't make a face. Next, he staggers out back where the pit bull is chained up and soon the people inside the bar hear a huge, noisy, scuffle going on outside. They hear the pit bull barking, the guy screaming, the pit bull yelping, then silence.

 

Just when they think the man surely must be dead, he staggers back into the bar, with his shirt ripped and large bloody scratches all over his body. "Now," he says, "Where's the old woman with the sore tooth?"

[Clifftop]